Post # 1
So here’s the story…
I live in Texas and my fiance lives in NC- I own a house in TX and he is going to move there to be with me. I really am not a big fan of living together before marriage so we are going to get married by a JOP in the court house and then have a wedding wedding next summer on the beach and a big reception and whatnot… any thoughts on that?
thats what we plan on doing… some people seem against this and others dont mind but for us it just seems right- it will save us boo-koos of $$ on airfare plus we get to plan our wedding TOGETHER… we want to have our wedding in FL so us living together hopefully will make that more simple.
Post # 3
I completely agree! my fiance and i are doing something like that too!! congrats by the way!
Just don’t let people get to you. You two love eachother, why not start off life together the right way? and having a second day to say your vows is going to be so much fun!
Post # 4
My FI and I are doing the same. I live in TX, he lives in IL. We are doing this so that we can get started on our lives in the same city and for the reason of getting the paperwork for my immigration started – I’m Canadian here on work Visa.
I also hesitated for a while about this. In the end, we decided on a practical route. 🙂
Good luck and go with it!
Post # 5
Cheers! We totally did this a couple of weeks ago. Our wedding was already planned for October though, but got hitched early because of medical insurance reasons.
Do what you want. It sounds like you can have your cake and eat it too!
Post # 6
There will be some traditional folks that just won’t understand, but who cares? If anyone is brazen enough to bring it up, you can easily explain your perspective and ask them to support you and your FI in this happy decision you’ve made. Congratulations!
Post # 7
Honestly, who cares what others think. Do what is best for you and your FI. My sister actually got married by the JOP and then had her reception where she had a mock wedding ceremony for those that couldn’t attend the court wedding. Noone seemed to mind at all. It was the best of both worlds.
Post # 8
I got married in June, so we could take advantage of medical benefits, and for other financial reasons. We are still doing the church ceremony and reception as originally intended in January. Do what’s right for you.
Post # 9
We did that ! We got married ..but didn’t tell anyone ..(espec the families) , so as far as anyone elses concerned Next June is when were getting married..we didn’t want to make a big deal out of it , and we weren’t sure if the families would object..plus its kinda nice having this big secret with us ..like when were alone ..we call each Hubby and wife..lol..So do what u want , and the hell with what others say or think ..:) BE HAPPY !
Post # 10
i say just do what makes you both happy. that’s really who this is all about anyway, the two of you and doing what is right for the two of you as a couple! good luck. keep us updated.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
I haven’t talked about it, but this is what we did. Got legally married first, then had a wedding celebration a year later. Like Brattkatt22, we didn’t tell anyone till after the fact. We had our reasons (we’re a military couple). Do what is best for you two and what makes you happy. :o)
Post # 12
This is really common for military couples – my husband and I went to a JOP before we were going to move across the country, because otherwise the Navy wouldn’t have moved any of my stuff or recognized our serious relationship in anyway. I say, if you want to get married “twice” – go for it! My husband and I love having a “secret” anniversary day that we celebrate (our JOP ceremony), along with our actual wedding anniversary.
Post # 13
Of course that’s fine! We were actually thinking of doing the same thing…so that I could add my FI to my insurance. Haven’t totally decided yet…but it’s definitely an option. Also, I have a ton of friends that did it that way…and their wedding didn’t feel any less “weddingy”!
Post # 14
well thank you all so much for the encourgement! We arent a military couple but the long distance is just a hastle and we dont see the point in waiting to spend our lives together if we dont have to. I wish that we could keep it hush hush but due to the fact we are going to be living together its kinda gonna be “out there” … Im just happy I get to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life! yay!
Post # 15
Yes, of course.
I actually know a lesbian couple who got married here in MA over a year ago and still haven’t had their “real wedding” yet. They got married, legally, asap just in case the legislators took their right to marry away from them. They are having the fancy ceremony and reception this fall.
I’ve also heard of many military couples doing this as well.
Go for it. 🙂
Post # 16
My eldest sister and her husband got married in the court house a year before their Church wedding. that extra 12 months gave them enough time and resources to plan the wedding of their dreams.
My second sister and her husband are both in the military, they were married so they wouldn’t be separated and took them 2 years (after 9/11) to have a church wedding and a reception.
Both my sister’s love having two anniversaries, and I am following their lead. I will have a small intimate church wedding in my home town, and a destination wedding later.
Everyone I know say the second one doesn’t count, but hey whatever! they made it out anyways for both my sister and they booked their tickets for my wedding! its your wedding do what is best for the both of you. People will always try to down play something different because maybe they didn’t think of it first. Good Luck!! =)