Post # 1
Just got a facebook message from my younger cousin who says she is bringing her husband’s 3 year old daughter to our wedding now too (this isn’t her daughter – it’s her husband’s previous kid). I already invited the little boy that these two have together, and she’s bringing him. But I just find it rude that someone sends me a message on facebook and says “Just so you know we are bringing the girl with too”.
I didn’t even invite this little girl, nor do I know her. I never even wanted kids at our wedding in the first place, my fiance did though. So my cousin is lucky I even invited her little boy.
What do I tell her? Just let it slide? I’m pretty upset because I didn’t want these little kids at our wedding. Our reception is at an art center and it’s not too kid-friendly. My cousin gets wild and drunk and I know she probably won’t watch these kids too well.
Can I facebook message her back and say something like “ok, but just so you know the reception is at an art center, so if you bring kids with they will need to be watched very closely. We get charged for anything that might get damaged”.
Would that be rude to send her that? Or should I just let it be and pay for this extra toddler who I never even invited?
Post # 3
I would just let it go. While it is rude of her to add on a guest, I can see why she’d want to bring her step daughter, as she is part of her family. Plus, she doesn’t know how you feel about children coming to the wedding because you already invited her child.
Post # 4
oh I should mention too, that the girl doesnt even live with them – she lives with her mom. So they would just be taking her for the weekend so that she can come to my wedding.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
That is annoying when a family member invites uninvited kids. I wouldn’t say anything since to your cousin she is including her family v. her son v. his daughter. Could you can say, “we’re not having any kids at our wedding so your kids won’t have anyone to play with…why don’t you hire a babysitter and make it a grown-up night and we can have fun w/o the kids!” Would she go for that??
Post # 6
I can understand how you’d be upset, but I see her side. Even though the facebook part isn’t cool, its sort of rude to invite one of their children, but not the other. She may not technically be your cousin’s child, but she is her stepdaughter. That makes the girl family. I say let her bring her. Its not like you have any problem with the child other than that right?
Post # 7
like the others said here, i can totally understand both sides but i do lean towards your cousin. when she married her husband she also took on the role as stepmother to her husbands son so he is family also. im guessing they have spent alot of time and energy in trying to combine the families so to exclude him from the invite must have been upsetting to her
of course, your cousin should have handled it better and that is not to post something on facebook but to contact you directly
as far as your concerns to having kids in a art gallery – you had already invited one child at least to the reception so hopefully an extra child wont be any problems
Post # 8
Does he get weekend visitation with the daughter? It’s possible that it might be his weekend with her and that could be why, but idk. I also see both sides. It’s annoying, but if you can let it go, that’s probably the best option.
Post # 9
It’s always annoying to get a random plus one, but as you invited her son it’s hard to say she can’t bring the stepdaughter… @JoesWifey above has a very valid point, maybe it’s their weekend to have her and they can’t not bring her, or mayb they think it will be nice for her to get to know your family more…
We’ve had two univited plus ones from our family, and as much as the rudeness angers me, our decision was that it’s better to take the high road and spend the extra few bucks for their meals than to potentially alienate our family (because you could creating bad blood with more than just the person who rudely assumed it was ok to bring an uninvited plus one).
Post # 10
I agree with previous posters. It stinks that she used Facebook as a means to communicate with you but she probably didn’t think it’s be an issue since her son was already invited. I mean its not like you put on her invite “you, your husband and i guess your son but i really dont want kids there”. For all she knows, kids will be there. I know it may be irritating but if you can let it go, let it… I’d pick and choose battles wisely