Post # 1
I was totally floored the morning after the wedding when my new husband (!!) and I went through our cards and gifts. The card from my first cousin (let’s call her M) was attached to a wrapped present. I opened the card which was only signed “M and M’s Husband.” No congratulations, no well wishes, and not even our names appeared on the card. I brushed it off. They enclosed a check for $125, which we appreciated.
Now, this is the insulting part. It would have been sine if they left it with the $125 check. However, when I opened the wrapped gift, I was very upset. It was a beautiful Waterford crystal pitcher with a torn box that had obviously been opened. I recognized it very well because it was the same glass pitcher I gave her for her bridal shower last August. They had ripped the top of the box when her sister took it out to show the guests at the shower. For my wedding present she regifted the bridal shower present I had given her. If she had no money and that was all she could give me, I would completely understand. However, M is very rich and is always the fist to shove her wealth in my face.
Let me give you some background info on M and I. We are first cousins that were never particularly close. She is a rich spoiled brat that never worked a day in her life… but whatever. I only saw her at obligatory family functions and holidays. The summer before my husband and I got engaged she told him that when he proposes to me that my ring should cost at least $25,000 and be over 2 carats, otherwise it will just look cheap. DH and I have been together over 8 years and this was the first time M ever chose to hold a conversation with him. I was furious and all I said was that the cost of the ring doesn’t equal how much someone loves somebody and walked away.
Well, dear M get engaged to her bf of 4 months with a huge ring and gets married last October. I attended the bridal party (gave her the regifted vase which was about $75) and the wedding. (gave her $200) I did not want to attend the wedding because she didn’t invite me father. My mother and her father are brother and sister. My mother died in 1996. However, my father gave M a birthday and Christmas present every year until we were in our mid-20s. I was the one that had break the news to my dad that he was not invited when he asked me to go shopping with him so he would have something nice to wear. I only went to her wedding because my grandmother would have been very upset if I didn’t.
At M’s wedding, I congratulated her and said goodnight to her when we were leaving. At my wedding she didn’t say 1 word to me. I went to the table she was sitting at and thanked all the guests for coming. I stood right next to her and she wouldn’t even look at me. I turned to her husband and thanked him for coming and asked how their baby was doing. Still, she didn’t even look up. I brushed it off but I have say when I opened her “gift” it really added the insult to the injury.
I told my grandmother and she couldn’t believe how rude M was. However, she will not say anything because she does not want any family drama. I was thinking when I do the thank you notes to mention it. I was going to say something like, “Thank you for your generous gift. I especially loved the beautiful crystal pitcher that I gave you for your bridal shower. I agree, it looks much better in my home than in yours.” And just leave it at that. She knows what she did. She knows that I had given in to her and she gave it to me on purpose, which is probably why she couldn’t look at me. After this, I will be done with her forever.
Post # 3
Ouch. That is really awful! It is the deliberate slap in the face of the regift by someone obsessed with material possessions that stings, not the actual pitcher. Enjoy it in good health and try not to let it make you bitter. I’d quietly back away from her and leave out the dig in the Thank You note. Maybe one of these days she’ll grow up and apologize; no reason to give her mud to sling at you in the meantime.
Post # 4
@RCH1286: Wow, how rude! That’s ridiculous. I’ve heard of regifting, but regifting to the person that gave it to you in the first place….just wow.
That said, I myself wouldn’t say anything along the lines of your note – it seems petty and stooping to her level. Don’t give her the satisfaction. In fact…I might just “forget” to send a thank-you at all! 😉
Post # 5
@RCH1286: I’ve heard of people regifting, but not back to the person who originally gave it to them. She gave you a cheque too though, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. It’s not like it was your only present.
It is possible that she liked your gift so much, she bought you the same thing for your wedding (unlikely, but possible). Or maybe it was her way of telling you that she didn’t like your gift. I’m not sure, but it’s not worth a fight.
Post # 7
Wow! What she did was really rude. I wouldn’t engage her by mentioning it in the thank-you note, though. Just leave a vague message thanking her for her generous gift and move on. Take the high road and let her reap what she has sown.
Post # 8
@MrsPanda99: I know it was the pitcher I have her beacuse the top of the box was ripped when her sister opened it at her bridal shower. M went the extra mile and actually took the time to tape it back up!
I may leave the dig out of thank you note, but right now it’s nice to dream. Rarely do you actually get the time to think about the perfect comeback. lol
Post # 9
Ughhh what a jerk! I’d take the high road. Right a thank you card (no need to make it personal) and just be done with her. Ugh.
Post # 10
@RCH1286: I might do it a little more passive aggressively (which I usually don’t advocate) so you don’t completely destroy a family relationship. I might say something like, “It was so thoughtful of you to get me such a beautiful pitcher. Now we have matching ones!”
Then ask to see hers next time you are over 😛
Post # 11
Honestly, I would probably just laugh something like this off and let it go. Harbouring resentment is only going to hurt you. It was thoughtless and rude of her… but it sounds like she’s thoughtless and rude. so no surprise there.
Post # 12
@RCH1286: I’m just in shock! How incredibly rude of her! :(. I’m so sorry you have to deal with her drama during your honeymoon.
Post # 13
@MrsPanda99: +1 Yes, exactly what I’d recommend as well!
Post # 14
What a spoiled b*tch.
I think I’d just thank her for the money and leave it at that. Can you return the pitcher to where you bought it? Might as well get some money from that, too. Or sell it on ebay or something.
I agree with PP – don’t harbor the resentment, just try to laugh it off and make the best of it (I mean… it’s a good story for “weirdest wedding present you got”)
Oh… and I’d really never bother to contact her again.
Decline every invite she sends you from now on – because who needs that crap in their lives?
Post # 15
@RCH1286: WOW. That is seriously one of the most disrespectful, rudest thing I’ve ever heard of… To think that your own blood would do that to you.. I’m so sorry about your unbearable cousin M, but it seems to me she’s jealous and has some bad self esteem problems that she has to take it out on you!
Nonetheless, I really like the “Thank You (NOT!!)” note idea lol! Brilliant!!! Don’t sweat it. This will all be a good laugh later on!!
Post # 16
@RCH1286: WOW!! I’m not sure what I’d do but maybe in my thank you card I’d say something along the lines of “Great taste! Now we have matching!”.
This reminds me of the scene in Old School when Frank regifts the breadmaker. It’s so ridiculous that its hilarious, I’d send the card and spend alot of time laughing about this.