(Closed) Cousin invited herself!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you guys feel? What would you do?
    Think it's not a big deal, that it's just one person and let it slide. : (6 votes)
    19 %
    Think it was a big deal, but let it slide/scream into pillow. : (8 votes)
    26 %
    Think it was a big deal and let them know that space is limited so all cousins couldn't be invited. : (17 votes)
    55 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Wow. some of the things that people do, I would never imagine doing to someone else during their wedding.  I would stick to my guns and be clear that you have a very tight budget, and you must stick to the guest list you have prepared. Unfortunatly there is no room for additional guests.

    I am in the same position. I have a cousin that I have invited to my wedding, that while I am not close now we were very close when we were younger. My FI has met her once.  Our wedding is very small because my FI and I decided that we each wanted to know and be close with everyone invited. (So that means no friends of my parents, or his becasue while I know my moms friends, he does not. ) My cousin took it upon herself to demand that she bring her boyfriend she has been dating for three months. (Her response card didn’t have a “+1” because I knew she wasn’t in a serious relatonship when I sent out the invites. So there will be someone at my wedding that neither my FI nor I have ever met. Which would be fine, if it were the kind of wedding where we sent out response cards with “+1” to bring dates or spouses.

    People apparently do what they want, and that includes inviting themselves to weddings they don’t belong to.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2135 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If space is really limited, I would use that as my excuse to put my foot down and say no.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    You heard this through your mother, so she didn’t even tell you herself that she was coming? She just assumed she was invited sans invite, and then didn’t even bother to tell you she was coming? What does she think is going to happen when she shows up to a wedding for which she did not receive an invite, did not RSVP to, and about which she has not spoken to the bride or groom? I’m sorry, but how daft do you have to be?

    I would speak to your aunt and use as much specific language as you can…”I’m so excited to see the two of you.” “When are the two of you arriving in the state?” And make sure your mom is on your side on this and can pass the word on when either your aunt or cousin start to talk about her attending the wedding, so she can intervene on your behalf if necessary.

    And if she shows up uninvited, you can easily play the innocent bride who didn’t even know she was coming, because obviously she never spoke to you about it, RSVPed, or anything. So you won’t have a chair or meal for her, and that’s just so sad for her, but there’s nothing you can do.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8325 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Are you sure they didn’t mean she is coming with them as in to California? Just because she is coming into the state doesn’t necessarily mean she is going to crash the wedding!

    The topic ‘Cousin invited herself!’ is closed to new replies.

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