Cousin Wants To Get Married In My Church….

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

brendaray2009:  I think you are being very kind to listen to your cousin.  Obviously the church is very important to you.  I think the real issue here might be that you feel your cousin is disrespecting a church you have quite a lot of respect for.  Honestly, if I were you I would probably just stop trying to help her.  She knows there is a fee if she doesn’t want to rejoin, she also knows what is required if she does want to rejoin.  Just because you got married there doesn’t mean you are in charge of the church!  Plus everyone has to plan their own wedding.  Kindly tell her you can’t help her and it’s up to her to maek the decision about what she wants to do and make an appointment with the church.  If you feel you can be honest with her, share how important the church is to you and that the conversation is making you feel uncomfortable.  

Post # 3
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

brendaray2009:  at the end she can’t have it both ways. She either has to rejoin or pay the fee. You know your church will put their foot down. So I say just trust your church will do the right thing.

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would just change the subject when she brings it up. It’s her problem, not yours.

Post # 5
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just back off and let her deal with the church.

Post # 6
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Tell her that she can either rejoin, or pay. I get you have a lot of respect for this church but this really isn’t your problem, it’s hers. If she wants to complain about the issue, just restate the facts: Join, or pay. There are no other options if she wants to get married in that church.

Post # 8
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I understand wanting to protect your church and its members but I don’t get why you’re so upset and it seems like you jist don’t want her married there, maybe hecause its where you will be married?

Either way though you should be encouraging non members to want to join the church, not getting upset. She knows there will be a fee. I would just take comforr in knowing she feels having her wedding in a church is impprtant to her.If you are of a Christian denomination I urge you to consider the teachings of Jesus, drawing people to the church not pushing thrm away. Jesus met the people where they were, he didn’t wait until they were good enough or met certain standards.

Basically all I’m saying is maybe look at the bright side… there is a woman who does not attend church but is being drawn to it for her wedding, this may just be the door that brings her to the faith. Excluding one from a church or saying they should be married at a court house because they are not members only pushes them away. Let her pay the fee and be married in peace

Post # 9
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just dont get involved. Refer to pastor and end it. Her using the church is just silly, let it go. If she pays the fee who cares. Stop letting her come to you with it. It’s very simple. I’m with PP why this is upseting you so much makes zero sense to me.

Post # 10
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

brendaray2009:  Why is this even your problem? I suggest you stay out of it completely, let her and the church pastor sort it out. If she complains to you, give her the church’s phone number.

Post # 11
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I dont get why youre frustrated about something thats not. your. problem.

Let her figure it out, if she pays the fee who cares? Let it go.

Post # 12
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d stay out of it. Let the pastor or church wedding coordinator or secretary deal with it. If she bring it up to you, simply direct her to the appropriate person. Let them make the call about her paying the fee or not. 

Post # 14
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

brendaray2009:  Just say, hey girl I wish you the best with this and let me know if youd ever like to join me on Sunday but this is for you to figure out. The rules are the rules and I have no sway.

Practice and repeat!

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