(Closed) Cousins assume they are invited…but they're not

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would say it depends how many cousins you have. For example we can only have 100 at our recpetion but we are inviting 120, expecting that at least 2o ppl wont show. But it isnt fair to your man to cut out his family and then invite yours. 

Post # 4
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had this issue.  I didn’t tell them.  I just let them figure it out when the invites went out.  I did talk to those that were invited to let them know that we cut our list at first cousins so extended cousins weren’t invited.  Just so that they had a bit of sensitivity and awareness.  I would advise your parents to tell them that all the information will come from the couple.

Post # 5
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would ask your parents to tell your aunts and uncles (or tell your aunts and uncles yourself) and I’m sure they will mention it to their own kids.

Post # 6
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are somewhat close to them, I would call them and just let them know the situation. Or, if you are not close to them maybe you can talk ro your aunts and uncles. Either way, it’s probably best not to just let them get the hint by not receiving an invitation. 

Post # 7
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ladeeeda:  I agree with this.

Post # 8
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have/had this same issue. We are getting married at a family home that won’t accomodate more than 100 people, so we didn’t feel we could extend many invites to people with whom we weren’t close. My mom talked to my aunts and uncles in advance to casually mention our financial and space situation. This worked well only because all of my cousins are over 16 and can be left at home. However, only half of my mom’s side of the family is coming now. At least one couple isn’t coming because they can’t bring their children. 

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would ask the parents to host a back yard barbecue for extended family after the honeymoon. You could say on the invitations ” Due to limited room on (date) we will be hosting a backyard barbecue or party in so and so’s honor” . It includes them and explains at the same time.

Post # 12
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think in your situation since it is a really small wedding it’s perfectly okay for your parents or whomever to say only 30 people can come.  You don’t have to invite them, you don’t have to accomodate them with a party afterward.  This is the wedding you chose and that’s okay.  Next time someone that’s not invited asks just say “the place only holds 30 people so I invited my parents and their siblings. Unfortunately it’s so small the cousins aren’t invited.”  I wouldn’t call them but if they ask just answer honestly.  You aren’t doing anything wrong. 

ETA:  I’m sure once the first person hears it will spread like wildfire.

Post # 13
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Given the timing of your wedding I think it’s actually pretty thoughtful of you to let them know they are not invited.  I’m sure the cousins are trying to figure travel out since it’s so close to Christmas and letting them know they’re not invited is totally okay.  But yeah, might have parents spread the word.

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