- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 1993
So I needed someplace to vent about this and I realize that
a. I should stop worrying about this
b. I should be the bigger person and just smile
c. Everything will work out
But I still need to vent!
And I apologize in advance for the length.
My FI and I have been together for 5 years now, from our senior year of high school and now through college. We got engaged in March of ’09 and due to him being in school a semester longer due to an internship, we will finally be getting married this summer. Not to brag, but we’ve always had a great relationship – made it through several long-distance stints, never broke-up or got close to it. Both our families are looking forward to the wedding and support it.
Late last year, a cousin of his became engaged, setting their date 4 weeks after ours. At first I was a teensy bit peeved, but they are both nice, been together a while and the wedding is a few hours away and we aren’t terribly close with them anyway so it really doesn’t feel like anyones’ stepping on toes.
At Christmas, another cousin got engaged. THIS one made my blood boil. They started dating shortly after FI and I, but then broke up several times (for months at a time), with their most recent reconciliation being 6 months prior to the engagement. And when I say break-up, I mean on Facebook talking about what a lying cheat he is, and a *itch that she is. It was extremely public, immature, and I can’t imagine taking someone back that would say things like that about me in such a way. They set their wedding two months after ours.
To me their relationship is fake, semi-abusive, and completely unstable. Of course now it is all “I love you baby, can’t wait to marry you, x number of days to go bleh bleh bleh. Here are a few of the little things she’s done to annoy the heck out of me. Just as a side-note, both cousins are from the same side of the family, so 3 weddings for the same family in 10 weeks.
– picked two of the three same colors as my wedding
– has registered at the same two places as me
– if I post something on Facebook about how plans are going or marking the 2 months to go or similar, she does the same thing
– posts statuses about her wedding being the best of the summer (not only a dig at me, but the other cousin as well)
– breathes air (ok, so maybe not this, but you get the idea).
I guess what I hate is how people act like her wedding is to be as celebrated and supported as mine and the other cousins’. I’m sorry, it’s not, they are pretty much white trash and I hate that I will be expected to go and act supportive when I do not think they should get married. Shower invites will be coming soon and since she was able to cop an excuse to mine, I feel that I should be able to do the same. She and I knew each other before I met FI and never had issues, but I feel like since she announced she was engaged it has become a silent competition. Probably because I didn’t come up and congratulate her (or speak to her at all) during the holiday family events.
Another of FI’s cousins who is also my MOH is equally mad about it and sometimes we are able to have rants about it, but I was curious what other brides in possible similar situations think. How you dealt with it, and what happened. I know that I’m likely being petty and should just ignore it, but I just hate that this is being treated like a legit happy wedding, and do feel like she should have waited until next summer (since they have no money to spend now anyway). Anyway, enough venting for now.
P.S. my one LOL moment was getting their save the date – they took random pictures somewhere and put it on post-card type. To make the pictures fit, they stretched the pictures HORIZONTALLY, and since she isn’t exactly model-type to begin with, it gave me a laugh to see how bad it made her look.