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I think you should invite whoever you are closest too. In my family I have been in every one of my first cousins weddings so for the older ones I am having their children and my younger 1st cousins will be BM's or GM's. But none of my FI's cousin are in our wedding. He isn't that close to them so it wouldn't have made sense.
If it's a huge deal to your parents could you include them and have the pass out programs, carry the gifts(if it's a catholic ceremony), etc. Maybe you could give them small jobs.
I had this same problem! I was telling my mom about how I was thinking about having my FI cousins in the bridal party (because they are more like sisters to him than cousins) and my mom freaked out about not having my own cousins in the weddings. Honestly, i never even considered it because they are much older than me.
SO, now none of them will be in the wedding lol
You are not obligated to invite ANYONE to be in the wedding party. You can have your cousins do a reading or something, if you'd like.
I had a falling out with the group of people I picked to be in my wedding. They are full of drama and one of them wrote a nasty blog about me. Since they are all in the same "clique" all of them turned against me... drama (long story)
So I had to ask new people to be in my wedding... I chose my best friend from High school to be my MOH (Best choice ever!), my groomsmen's wife (even thought I'm not really close to her) and my two first cousins, one on my dad's side and one on my moms side and I think that it was the best decision I could possibly make. Now all my wedding party is kept in the family. I don't regret it at all..
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I just had WWIII on the phone with my mother this morning. I had already asked my wedding party to be in the wedding, and my mom called today and said she and my father were really upset that I didn't ask my two first cousins. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me to ask them because we really only see each other on holidays, and sometimes not even then. I like them, but I don't think that they would ask me to be in their weddings either. They are of course invited and maybe I could ask them to do a reading or something. Well, my mother went into this whole thing about how it will "tear the family apart" etc.
Is it expected to have your first cousins in the wedding? I'm feeling really awful now.