Post # 1
I have a coworker/friend who is 42 and has been trying for a baby for 8 years. They did 2 rounds of IVF, one ended in miscarraige, but HURRAY! She’s 24 weeks pregnant with her first child. Everyone is thrilled for her and her husband.
They are team green. I constantly hear people asking her what she’s having. Her response, “well, we really want a boy but I have a feeling we’re having a girl.”
I mean, she’s entitled to her feelings, I’m not denying her that. But it’s so awkward when she actually SAYS it out loud. How is a person supposed to respond to that? Under normal circumstances it’s a weird thing to say, but especially since they’ve been through so much to have this baby.
I don’t know why I’m posting this. I’m trying not to be judgemental. I guess I’m just venting or something…..
Post # 2
Why is it wrong for somone to say they want one gender over the other? I don’t get why we need to judge people over that. It’s honesty.
I’m pregnant with my second. I have a girl already, and I am one of those who would like to have a boy as my second… I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I’m not saying I’ll send a second girl away– I will be super excited to have two girls as well — I’m just saying it would be great to have a boy!
<br />There is nothing wrong with hoping for one gender or the other.
Post # 3
ExcitedScaredBee: I always find it strange when people say that as well – in any circumstance. My sister said that until they found out, she really wanted a girl but her FH wanted a boy. When she found out it was a boy she kept saying how happy she was for her FH that he was getting what he wanted. She’s obviously over the moon with my nephew but still – it was a little weird.
Post # 4
I don’t really see anything wrong with what she said. Plenty of people hope for one gender over the other.
Post # 5
ExcitedScaredBee: You respond ” well, I hope you get what you want, but I know your child will be loved no matter what”.
I don’t think it’s weird at all to expess a preference for one gender over another. Many couples do.
Post # 5
ExcitedScaredBee: This is my experience only. Ive a year of TTC and a MC under my belt. I always said I wanted a girl but at this stage wouldn’t care if it’s an elephant/giraffe as long as I got my baby safely handed to me!!! When the baby is born she really won’t mind!!
Post # 7
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting one over the other. I’m saying that it’s awkward for other people when she SAYS it. You can see it on their faces. I thought it was awkward when she first said it to me. It’s just a strange thing to hear coming out of someone’s mouth.
I know it’s not right, but I woudn’t find it quite AS awkward if they had an easy time getting pregnant. But I feel that after everything they’ve been through, the phrase “we’ll be happy with anything as long as it’s healthy” should ring especially true.
Again, I just posted as more of a vent. I acknowledged in my post that she’s entitled to her opinion. I know people have gender dissapointment all the time and it’s valid. I get that. Her telling everyone about it has just become one of those awkward life situations, I guess.
Post # 8
I guess I can understand you, OP. After such a struggle, I don’t know that I’d even have much preference. I would just be relieved to finally be pregnant. But she is certainly allowed to have a preference.
I do find it odd when anyone shares that preference though. I guess I would never want Aunt Sally to tell little Johnny that mommy and daddy actually wanted a girl.
But again, people are certainly allowed to share, and I’m sure she will be thrilled with either sex!
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s that awkward. I would probably just say “fingers crossed for a healthy boy then!”
Post # 10
i dont think what she said was wrong. I think my friend saying she “cried for hours after finding out it was a boy. I really thought we would have a girl” kind of ignorant. I wanted to say “listen. i have friends who have been trying for years and it just happend like nothing for you so shut up and be happy you have a baby”
Post # 11
Just because it took her a while to conceive doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to the sane feelings as someone who conceives quickly. Really she’s just being honest. Personally I can’t picture myself making a statement like that to coworkers but maybe to family members or close friends.
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s weird or awkward. It’s not like she’s saying she’ll hate the kid if it’s a girl. She’s just stating that she wants a boy. IMost people have a preference. ‘m sure when I get pregnant and people ask, I’ll tell them I hope it’s a girl. Because that’s the truth. However, as soon as I found out exactly what I was going to have, that preference won’t even matter. I’m sure as soon as that baby comes out, she won’t give two shits what she originally wanted.
Post # 13
I’d rather someone gave an honest answer than “OOH we don’t care, as long as it’s healthy hmmmm”. Like the Garfunkel and Oates song “pregnant women are smug” says, it’s not like one is dependent on the other. Yes, yes she wants a boy. Nothing wrong with that. I don’t think she’s going to drop the baby off at the hospital if it’s a girl after 8 years of trying.
Post # 14
I don’t see whats wrong or awkward with saying that. I’ve had plenty of people tell that to me and I’ve never felt like it was an awkward thing to hear, or I didn’t know how to respond. And honestly the whole “we don’t care, we just want the baby to be healthy” thing annoys me a lot more. I mean I really doubt anyone hopes for an unhealthy baby.