(Closed) coworkers and invites!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should I invite coworkers?
    All of them : (3 votes)
    16 %
    Just the young ones : (2 votes)
    11 %
    None : (9 votes)
    47 %
    The 9pm drinking/dancing option : (5 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    When this is brought up, my personal rule of thumb is, “Would I be friends with any of these people if I left the job?” Usually, the answer is no, and therefore, they shouldn’t be invited.

    If you really feel close to a few coworkers, and you honestly think you’d continue to be friends with them if you left, I would invite them, but be sure they understand that not everyone was invited, so keep in on the down low. You will probably hurt people’s feelings, but if anyone asks, just say, “The venue has a lot of space limitations, and since so and so and I hang out after work and we’re good friends, we decided to invite her. I hope you understand.” Coworker invitations are such a catch-22. If they don’t get an invite, they get slightly offended, and if they do get one, they often feel like it’s a burden (“Gosh, I just work with the girl, now I have to take time out of my Saturday AND get her a gift?!”).

    Almost always, it causes some weird tensions when one or a few people are invited, and others aren’t, but mature adults should understand. But honestly, I think it’s always best to just never invite coworkers at all. But that’s just me 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I totally see what you are saying – I feel the same as Miss Chapstick. Ask yourself who you would be friends with if you left the job? Do you make plans to hang out with anyone outside of work for a non-afterwork happy hour?

    I have a ton of coworkers too who all know I’m engaged, but I’m only inviting 2 of them. Those 2 are people I’ve been freinds with for years and hang out with on weekends. I don’t feel bad about leaving anyone else out, especially my bosses.

    Post # 5
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    That’s a good rule of thumb Miss Chapstick!  I’ve been struggling with this myself.  I’m really good friends with someone I work with-my fiance and I have dinner with him and his wife whenever we can, and I really want to invite him but I’d hate to rude to everyone else I work with.  Are you supposed to invite your boss?  That would be kinda weird, partying with your boss looking on!

    Post # 6
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think it’s perfectly normal for you to talk about your wedding with your co-workers – don’t feel like that is a reason you have to invite them.  

    I think once you start inviting a few (even if to the after part) others are bound to get upset by it (even if they are no where close to you).

    I’d advice you to stay on the safe side and go with the no-one from work rule.  If you had a really close friend from work, they’d already be on the list without questioning it (is my theory).

    Don’t feel bad about it – people certainly understand the limitations of wedding guest lists.

    Post # 7
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I gave invitations to those I was close with and then posted an invite in our break room for everyone.

    Post # 8
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Like eveyone is saying, if you hangout w/ them outside work then invite them. Other than that don’t feel obliged to do so.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    Feel free to invite whomever you hang out with outside of work. The others should understand. You never know but the others may decide to throw you a work shower just because they can’t attend.

    Post # 11
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    It’s super super common here (UK) for some people to be just invited in the evening after the meal, no one thinks it’s cheap.

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    If its going to be talked about, it should probably be an all or none thing.  That being said, I queitly invited a few of the people I worked with (just the ones that I considered friends.)

    The topic ‘coworkers and invites!’ is closed to new replies.

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