Post # 1
I work for a small, family-owned company that has approximately 28 employees. I’ve been here 10 years and am very close to most of my coworkers (we’ve been through a lot together – are very much like family). There are 12 coworkers that I will absolutely be sending an invitation to (no question). There are a handful of others that I wouldn’t mind if they came but I’m not sure an invitation to their home would be appropriate. There are also 5 coworkers that I absolutely do not want there (long story but it consists of infidelity, backstabbing, and all around poor behavior that should not be happening in the workplace).
I originally planned on sending invitations to the 12 close coworkers and routing around an invitation to the rest of the office staff (assuming those 5 wouldn’t ever come anyway). Or sending invites to those 12 and posting an invitation in our breakroom with a note saying to R.S.V.P. if they planned on attending. Or do I invite the 12 close coworkers and do nothing with the rest of them (but then I worry there will be hurt feelings if some find out that others received invitations at home).
What is the proper way to handle this?
Post # 3
i would just invite the 12 that you’re close to. routing an invite through the office or posting in the breakroom isn’t a good idea imo. if you’re not comfortable enough to send them an invite at home, how are you comfortable enough having them at your wedding?
people understand weddings have budgets and space restraints. i doubt anyone expects the entire office to be invited.
Post # 4
It depends on the organization of these people? Do they work in the same department at the same level? Do you work closely with them or just know them?
Be careful because this is office politics and you dont want to make things unnecssarily hard on you in the future
Post # 5
It’s a small company – I work directly with them, day in and day out. It’s a construction company, but I work with the estimators and project managers, the owner himself, the C.E.O., etc. We are all very close (with the exception of the 5 I noted above).
I’ve been here 10 years with the same group of people. I am closer to most of them than my family and friends. These are people that would help me at my house if I needed anything, people who collected a fund to help honor a pet that I had to have put down unexpectedly, people that I regularly go to lunch with, do things outside of work with (our work sponsors a lot of get-togethers). I know these people well on a business and personal level, know their spouses and children…ALL of them – we’re that close.
But there are undoubtedly 12 of them that I’m closer to than the others. The handful of others, I know their families too, I consider myself good friends with and I wouldn’t mind them at my wedding at all, but it would still feel strange to send them an invite at home. I don’t want it to become, “Oh you just invited me because you invited everyone else.”
So I guess as I’m working through this, I’m answering my own question. Then it becomes – if I invite those 12 people (send invites to their home), do I just not do anything with any of the others?
My concern is that those 12 that are invited, what if they are talking after the wedding and someone else’s feelings get hurt b/c they weren’t invited. In situations like this – is it better to invite all or nothing … or still just stick with the 12 that I feel I’m most close to?
Post # 6
i would invite just the 12 and basically just tell them that not everyone in the office is invited so please don’t talk about it in the office.
Post # 7
Anyone you invite should have an invitation mailed to them. Passing around one invitation for the office is TACKY.
Post # 8
I read something in a magazine or somewhere that said if u wouldn’t normally buy them lunch then u shouldn’t pay for their meal at ur wedding.
this is kinda the way i’m having to look at the whole work invite thing.
one of my coworkers posted an invite and a blank piece of paper in the breakroom for coworkes to write down their name if they would be attending. about 30 people signed up and maybe 7 showed up. I felt bad for the girl esp if she planned food for those that did not attend. unless I am close to the coworker, i will not be inviting them to the wedding.
Post # 9
I would send invitations to the home of the 12 I wanted to attend.
There are not too many people who honestly think everyone they work with should invite them to their wedding.
Reasonable people know we are all working within a budget of some sort.
Unreasonable people will complain or act out no matter what you do.