Coworkers baby shower – should I go?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Should I go? Should I still give a gift?
    Go and give a gift : (0 votes)
    Don't go but still give a gift : (29 votes)
    57 %
    Don't go and not give a gift : (22 votes)
    43 %
    Rainbows and ice cream! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    5909 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @Glasgowbound:  You don’t have to tell anybody anything, RSVP “No” with regrets of course, and send a lovely gift….it shows that you’re the bigger person AND you avoid that game where they make people taste baby food—bleh!

    Post # 4
    22125 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I probably wouldn’t go but would send a gift. Then you don’t have to deal with her or the painful feelings that will probably arise being at someone else’s baby shower, but you are still wishing her and her new baby well with a gift, even a small one. 🙂

    Post # 5
    4413 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You don’t have to go OR give a gift. I’m sure that, given your history together, if she even notices that you aren’t there she won’t spare a single second wondering why!

    Post # 6
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i wouldn’t go, but i would send a small gift or maybe a gift card to where ever she is registered

    Post # 7
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Glasgowbound:  Co-workers are not friends, unless they become/are friends outside of work. Don’t go, don’t send a gift.

    Post # 8
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @Glasgowbound:  Skip it and sent a simple onesie or something small off her registry (especially if most of your school or department is attending.)  I attended a shower shortly after my MC and it was awful.  I was able to keep it together but I immediately went home and had a breakdown afterwards.  I agree with Nona to be the bigger person and send a gift so there are no hard feelings.

    Post # 9
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If it were me I would not go given your history with her and your delicate feelings because of the MC. I probably wouldn’t send a gift if I wasnt going because we arent close.

    Post # 10
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would decline the invite and just send a card or a very small gift if it were me

    Post # 11
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I might send a card/stuffed animal/something $10, but I definitely wouldn’t go.

    I’m so sorry for your loss!

    Post # 12
    3009 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Glasgowbound:  you definitely don’t have to go! It is an invite not a summons! And don’t feel the need to give any excuse to anyone beyond you are not available. 


    send your regrets and a small gift if you want, but it is not necessary. 


    I am sorry for your loss. It is such a painful thing and it can take a while to be up for other’s babies. 


    Post # 13
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Glasgowbound:  Don’t go if you’re afraid it could trigger you, and just send your best wishes and/or a gift.

    Post # 14
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Glasgowbound:  A lovely card and a gift would be more than enough.  Do you want people at your parties that are sad to be there and don’t really like you?  My guess is that you’d rather they stay home and she probably feels the same way. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

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