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I am in a simmilar situation in terms of size of co worker group and I invited no one. I asked a co worker who trained me if people would be offended and she said no, that other people who worked here before me got married and didn’t invite any of the group. is there one person you could ask to guage if any of them are expecting invitations?
I would just not invite anyone. You said that you're close on your numbers, and it doesn't sound like your co-workers are your close friends since you rarely hang out outside of work. I don't think people would be offended if you didn't invite anyone.
I would say if you hung out with them more then it would be good for you to invite the 2-3 that youve hung out with outside of work....but since you said only a handful of times in the past 3 years then dont worry about it. Also, I dont think you should invite people to your shower and then not to the wedding. It may have worked for some people in the past, but just as a rule of thumb its best etiquette not to do so.
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I work for a large company and my department alone has 20 people. While I don't hang out with all twenty people, there is a large group who I normally hang out with at lunch or go for 3 pm walks :) Outside of work, I have only hung out with 2-3 of my co-workers, but only a handful of times over the last 3 years of working here.
We are practically at capacity in terms of invites, so I'm really not sure whether to invite the 2 or 3, or just not invite any at all.
I've also heard of such gatherings as "Meet the groom" where you have a whole bunch of people over after the wedding, no gifts accepted, and just hang out. If it was just co-workers, I don't see that being lame, but maybe it is?
Also, what do you think about inviting people to a Jack and Jill, but not the wedding? One of my co-workers did that and it seemed to go smoothly with the rest of the department.
What do you guys think?