Post # 1
I’ve deleted the post, because after reading it again, I realise that am being extremely stupid, childish and ignorant. I just needed a rant and felt good after typing it all out and getting it out of my system.
In my temper the way I worded things in a way that were hurtful to others and I did not want this post to be here as a reflection of the kind of person I am.
Post # 3
OK sorry but she has just admitted to having a mental illness and you are refering to her as the crazy-aunt-show? Sorry but that is cruel and demeaning.
She is extending the olive branch because she has realised that when she wasn’t medicated (you know when her disease was at its worst) she did some bad things.
Sorry but you are joking right?
Post # 4
@j_jaye: You’re right – that is wrong of my, and I will reword it. Thanks for brining me up on it. I needed that.
I know she is extending an olive branch but I really have dealt with a lot of crap from her and I can’t snap off just like that – she really hurt me. She has been like this for years, since when I’ve known her and we tried to help her and have always had to deal with her reactions about this. She’s been in trouble with the police numerous times etc because of this. She’s gotten help before and then just stopped, jsut to go back to her ways – which I know is an illness, but I don’t know whay I have to always be the one that accepts being treated like shit. Being hurt, had lies spread about her, just always on the receiving end. How do I know it’s not going to happen aaaaall over again? Just like last time?
Post # 5
@j_jaye: +1 about the ‘crazy aunt’ comment. i also have depression and would be mortified if anyone called me crazy. i was upset when my FI’s aunts called one of their nieces crazy once, she was exhibiting classic symptoms of depression. having a mental illness does not mean you are crazy! she needs your support.
HOWEVER, I also see your point of view, it would be good if you were able to really enjoy this time and that she should be fully supportive of you!
Post # 6
@Jacqui90: As I said to @j_jaye:, you are right and I have amended my post. The wording was a knee-jerk reaction to a heated telephone conversation with my mother and was completely out of order. I sincerely apologise for any hurt or anger it caused, it wasn’t my intention.
Post # 7
@Cariad: i see you edited your post, thank you
Post # 8
I’d wait a week or so before replying just so you can think of what you want to say. Maybe it will make you feel better to say straight up “I need you to acknowledge how nasty you were.” She needs to take responsibility for herself, mental illness or not.
Post # 9
Tell her thank you for the apology. Let her know it’s going to take some time to forgive her but you’re willing to work towards it (if you are willing to do that)
My mother is bipolar and pretty much all my life she would do very bad things to hurt and make me miserable. Even to the point that she lied to my entire family and had them believing evrything was my fault. But when she had her moments of clarity she would genuinely be sorry. If she really does have a mental illness you have to seperate what she did to who she really is. Am I excusing her behavior? No. But at least she was able to admit she was wrong. Life is too short to be bitter. And it takes more energy to be angry than to let go. Since you know she has a mental illness you can choose how you want to interact with her. But honestly…. my dad is making my upcoming wedding hell and lying to family members about what’s going on. I WISH he was humble enough to admit he is wrong and apologize.
Good luck and I hope you make a decision that is right for you.
It takes a big person to apologize. It takes an even bigger person to have the capacity to forgive.
Post # 10
Altho I didn’t see the original post, I just want to say I think it’s wonderful that you were able to vent, think about the situation, and realize that you were wrong. Sometimes all we need is to just rant and I love that the hive allows a place for that.
Post # 11
I read your original post and I also read your original thread. All I want to say is seeing as you guys want to make amends, why not in a few years time do some sort of wedding blessing. You feel that your wedding was ruined, you could always have a blessing and a family party and invite those who didn’t come to your wedding because of all the drama a few months ago.
Post # 12
So I’ve had quite the afternoon – lots of tears etc, and seeing as this isn’t deleted yet, I thought I may post my intended reply to my aunt to get some feedback.
I just want to let you know I got your apology. Thank you – I know it must have taken a lot for you to do that. I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive and forget, but I am trying to work on it.
You see, you really hurt my family and I. In your illness, you said so many lies and nasty things about me, and did so many cruel things, and I’m not sure if I can just let that go. Mum says you’re getting help, and that’s great! I was genuinely happy when she told me. I just beg you to stick with it this time. You’ve treated us atrociously in the past, and then announced that you’re getting help, have been forgiven and received our full support, only to stop taking your meds, going to your appointments and starting the same cycle again – over and over again. This needs to stop. Actually I think this is why I’m finding it hard to forgive so easily this time – once bitten and twice shy and all that.
You have an amazing husband and two absolutely fantastic kids who I love and adore, please stick to it this time for them, if not for you.
Just give me a little more time. I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I just don’t feel I’m “there” yet. I know I’ll get there, but I just need some time.
In the meantime, look after yourself and give everybody a hug and a kiss from me.
What do you think?
Post # 13
I never read the first post, but the reply seems good.