Post # 1
My SO has struggled with some mental health problems for our entire relationship. He goes through bouts of depression and anxiety. Some days he just feels ‘off’ and his anxieties go through the roof, we call these days crazy brain days. We’ve found a vitamin regimen that helps him level out and have fewer crazy brain days, but he still has them at least once a month. He was in therapy before he moved states to be with me, but will not be able to get back into therapy until his health insurance form his new job kicks in in a few months.
When he has a crazy brain day he usually fixates on one of two issues. 1 He is a terrible boyfriend who doesn’t deverve to be with me or 2 he has done/said something he perceives as awkward and now his friends will never speak to him again. We’ve talked it over and it seems the best thing I can to to help is to in his words ‘logic it to death’. Last night I was able to logic him out of the first issue by showing him posts of other bees who’s SOs had done/said some awful things. It made him realize that he was not in fact a terrible boyfriend because he would never do those things to me.
So, I’m asking for your help bees can you share a story with me of a SO that you have known who deseves to be called a bad/terrible, or a story of when a friend of yours did something awkward but you forgave them anyway? I really appreciate any help you can give me to help my SO stay sane for the next few months.
Post # 3
Nope, no story here but at least it’s a bump
Post # 4
is a good thread for such stories– though they’re not super detailed, they are all examples of wretched types that people have encountered!
Post # 5
I don’t have any stories but your boyfriend may want to call some local therapists or mental health centers even before he has insurance. Most will work with a sliding scale and may be especially willing to negotiate if he will soon have insurance to pay. If he calls, explains the situation and tells them he’s really struggling, they may be able to help.
Hang in there!
Post # 6
My BFF’s husband doesn’t work. She works 2 jobs to support him and their children because he doesn’t like working, and he buys ridiculously expensive things on credit that she then pays for.
Your guy will be a dream compared to him.
Post # 7
My ex-boyfriend drove MY car to his best friend’s wedding and cheated on me with the maid of honor. This was on our 3 year anniversary.
The first guy I met after him was someone my dad paid to help me move out of our apartment. He was sweet and just what I needed at the time, at least until his wife called me to tell me what a whore I am. (In my defense, I straight up asked him if he was in a relationship and he said NO)
Post # 8
I was with a guy friend who said that he loved me.. Well, I hear through the grapevine that he slept with a random the day after he said that, and was now dating her, too! I confronted him about it, and he said, “I didn’t mean ‘I love you’ the way it seems like YOU think I meant it.”
I had a long term boyfriend in college snort a bunch of coke and then cheat on me with another guy. Fortunately I found out not long after it happened and was able to get his stuff out of my house (and a clean bill of health!) not long after.
Post # 9
I had a friend who in college would go out drinking with amother mutual friend. We would have one person designated to take care of the drinkers . I was sick so I didn’t go. Friend 1 was the sinker 2 was the thinker . 1 got drunk and 2 left her there. She decided that she wanted to go home and didnt want to drag 1 home. So she left and 1 woke up the next morning naked in te Thefootball field .
They are still best fiends.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Read this post for a truly terrible SO :/ http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-past-is-tearing-us-apart
I agree with the PP about looking into a clinic with a sliding scale. My Fiance has some depression and anxiety issues, and he is currently a student with health insurance that doesn’t cover mental health issues. He has recently started going to one of these community clinics where he sees a therapist and gets medication, for $2/hr !
Also, I don’t mean to alarm or judge since I obviously don’t know the situation, but I have a close friend who used to have these same kind of semi-delusions (friends were all in on a joke about him, etc). He ended up having a complete pyschizophrenic break with intense bizarre delusions and had to be hospitalized. I guess all I mean is, keep an eye on his grasp on reality..
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I have a friend whose boyfriend went to different states with his friends to cheat on her with random girls and do drugs. He also called her names that made light of certain eating disorders, etc. that she struggled with in the past. He also didn’t trust her EVER and always thought she was cheating on him when she was alone in our apartment. Where she would have found the time to do that between being full time at a top 20 school and working two jobs I have no idea.
This one isn’t that bad, but I have another friend whose boyfriend was so stupid that he had to close his eyes to process what you were saying to him. He also would never answer the phone for weeks at a time and claim that their phones just couldn’t call each other.
The worst couple I’ve ever met had some serious problems. He would call her a slut and a whore, and would lock her in his bedroom when he was angry with her. She was bulemic and would throw up on his bed in retaliation, and hit him a lot.
I’ll think of more!
Post # 12
@lolot: I do keep a close eye on how he’s doing as he did hallucinate once in the past which really scared us both ( I think part of the problem was he got kind of sunstroked that day). He wants to go to a real, professional thearpist when he starts up again because the last guy he had, at a college clinic, was completely aginst our realtionship solely because it was long distance at the time. He felt very judged and uncomfortable, so I know he wants to be able to choose more carefully this time. He is doing quite well lately because he’s goten into a consistent routine. He really only has a bad day 2-4 times a month which is an improvement, it used to be the other way around with good days and bad days.
@everyone else, thank you for your imput I really appreciate it.
Post # 13
I still think it would be worth looking into the professional therapist of your choice. My friend’s mom is a phd and she sees some people for $30/session.
Post # 14
I dont have a story but I do have a suggestion. I would suggest you try to find some counseling for yourself because going through this I know must be difficult and you need some support.
Take care and Big Hug
Post # 15
@AmyDee: omg girl…props. can’t even imagine how i would have handled that.
Post # 16
@EffieTrinket: One of my friends had a serious boyfriend, was thinking about marriage and kids, even learned his langauge so maybe she could move to his home country, then found out he was cheating on with a host of guys! He didn’t want to admit he was gay so he was just using her 🙁 Because he was with a bunch of other people, she had to get tested for a bunch of Save-The-Date Cards. very scary!