- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I wrote a post a few wks ago (not really sure how to link to it so I hope this works)
Anyway, I can’t be bothered going into detail again on old stuff, but after I stepped back a little my BM seemed to calm down, and then over the Easter wknd was a major explosion of craziness.
I had bad news on thursday about my cousin – his cancer drugs stopped working and one of the tumours has wrapped around tubes (not sure about proper medical terminology sorry) leading to his heart. An operation is the last resort because his chances of surviving it are so low, but either way he’s not doing well at all. He’s 28, and one of the most sweet, gentle and thoughtful people I’ve ever known. Basically, I’m devastated and heart-broken. The whole family decided last minute to travel out to the country to spend Easter with him, it could be the last time I ever had with him, I’m really scared.
Now, my ‘best friend’ knew all this, because I burst out crying when she rang me to whine about a lump on her thigh, which she was told is a benign tumour, and wondering whether she should get surgery to remove it. The lump is not noticable, I actually can’t see anything there. It’s just her being typically obsessed with the way she looks.
Still, over the entire wknd she was texting me that she wished someone would come along and ‘behead’ her, and that it was better to be dead than lonely. I ignored her. Then on the drive home she texted me to say ‘I’m going to end it. Bye’ I had no reception as I was in the mountains, but when I finally got some I called her mother and told her.
I turned my phone off. When I checked my emails she had sent me one saying that her mum had talked her out of it, and she wanted me to call her so she could talk about her feelings. Nothing about my cousin, my trip, anything,just wanting to talk about herself as usual. I know it may be controversial to say – but I have serious doubts she was ever going to kill herself. I am very upset and sick of being her personal therapist, I emailed back and told her how I felt and asked her to respect my wishes and not call or contact me. She apologised and hasn’t since, and the last few days have been the most peaceful and non-dramatic I’ve had in the last 6 months since this all started.
I don’t know if I want to be friends with her anymore, and I definitely don’t want her to be a BM anymore, she is so obviously bored by the entire thing, and I don’t want her with me on the day. FH has been telling me for about 2 months to drop her as a BM.