(Closed) Crazy Bridesmaid!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: People are nuts!
    People go crazy over weddings. : (6 votes)
    16 %
    People are already crazy, weddings just make their crazy come to the surface. : (32 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think you’re overreacting a bit about her wearing the dress.  I, too, am having my bridesmaids pick their own dresses.  The point of that is so they will hopefully be able to wear them again after my wedding.  So, it looks like your idea has already worked.  She liked it enough to be wearing it before your wedding.  I also don’t think you can really get mad at her for having her wedding in a location that is “inconvenient” for you.  It’s her wedding so she can pick wherever she wants to have it.  And while I agree that it makes sense to at least pick a dress that will look good on everyone if you want them to match, it’s ultimately her choice what you wear as her BM.  I understand completely that you feel uncomfortable in the dress, but not every bride has the same vision for her BM’s. 

    However, I agree that as your bridesmaid, she shouldn’t expect you to go with her to try on dresses right before your wedding.  She should be respectful of that.  She’s also being ridiculous by inviting her mom to your wedding.  Some people are unbelievable.  You’re completely in the right to tell her that her mom can’t come.  She’s planning a wedding too so she should understand all that goes into planning.  Sorry you’re dealing with all this craziness.  I hope she wisens up and stops with the crazy. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    That’s a rant if ever I heard one! I don’t really understand the poll either to be honest,what about an option taking the bridesmaid’s side? Brides can go crazy too you know.

    Listen, if your bridesmaids lives far away and she is spending a week in her home town she should take the opportunity to go dress shopping, I don’t see what’s wrong with that? She has a life of her own which is just as important as yours and she has very little time at home. Maybe that is the only time her family can make it to the store with her so don’t be upset about it. If anything you should be there for her.

    And also, you don’t own your bridesmaid’s time, she is perfectly entitled to do something for herself a couple of days before your wedding…I know all brides need support in the days leading up to the wedding and it’s understandable you want here there but not everyone has to spend all their time with you.

    And for the bridesmaids dress, I think it’s great she’s wearing it., it means she loves it. And if she paid for it it’s hers to do with what she pleases.

    Pour yourself a glass of wine and take a long bath, you’ll feel much better afterwards!

    Post # 6
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t think you are overreacting.  I would not want to be sitting in a bridal store helping someone pick out there wedding dress two days before my own wedding…It selfish…but it’s true.  Two days before my wedding, I KNOW I will have a lot to do. 

     The thing about her wearing her dress before the wedding…I would be irked about that.  What if it gets stretched out, or gets a stain….would she still wear it in YOUR wedding?  I specifically asked my Bridesmaids to not wear their dresses until after the wedding, for this specific reason.   

    I would also try to explain to her that you just simply can NOT add anyone to your guest list, you’ve already finalized everything.  : )

    I can see why you’re irritated, I don’t think any of what you’re upset about is reason to get your self worked up and possibly lose a friendship over…just be firm and let her know whats bothering you!  Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Hmm, I think it’s ok for her to go dress shopping two days before your wedding, but I don’t think it’s reasonable for her to expect you to join her.  Any chance it was a courtesy invite? 

    As for inviting her mom, that’s not cool.  Good for you for standing up for yourself. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    She sounds a bit out of line.  It’s sort of ok for her to wear the dress beforehand, but I’d be disappointed too if there were photos up on facebook at random occasions.. unless it was for another wedding and she couldn’t wear anything else, I think she should have kept the dress clean and ready for your wedding day. 

    More bad on her behalf that she thinks she can invite her mother?!  She’s out of line.  I’d definitely say no to that. 

    I’d politely decline to go dress shopping 2 days before your own wedding because you’re not in the frame of mind for it and you’ll probably have too much else to do.  Simply explain that to her.  I agree with the above pp that it may have been a courtesy invite

    Post # 9
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Eh inviting her mom to your wedding is ridiculous.  Expecting you to fawn all over her dress is ridiculous.  

    The rest ..  well you did say you were ranting so hopefully you feel a bit better having gotten it all off your chest. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    i agree mostly with PPs. and more so with you since i would probably feel the same way – about her wearing the dress at other occasions before your wedding. As a past BM 3 times over, i would have never even considered that an option.  i assume my BM dress has to be in tip top shape for the wedding…THEN i can do what i want and wear it where i want after.  i think if my BMs were doing that, i might ask them to refrain for fear of getting it stained or torn or something.  i agree that it is a very odd thing to before the wedding.  the dresses are almost like part of the decor, would you use any of your re-usable decor BEFORE the wedding?  i don’t think so!  after, sure, do what you want.

    obviously the mother invite is out of line as everyone has already said. and also i find it odd that she asked you to go dress shopping. could be a courtesy invite, but when i try to imagine myself as a BM in that situation, i cannot imagine that i would ask a bride 2 days before her wedding to go dress shopping. in fact, i might not even tell her i was going!

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    OP, I totally get it! I really do! Esp about her Mom and just inviting her like you haven’t already planned for each person that was INVITED!!!…Sorry you’re dealing with all that!! Good Luck!!

    P.S. I leave you with a poll to reward you for reading my rant– — made me giggle 🙂

    The topic ‘Crazy Bridesmaid!’ is closed to new replies.

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