Post # 1
Hi everyone, this is my first post after being a long time lurker. 🙂
Sorry if this is in the wrong section, and sorry if it ends up being a huge rant!
Anyway… my bridesmaid/future SIL is very much into experimenting with her looks. Her hair color changes around once a month, sometimes more (she’s aware of how damaging that can be but hasn’t stopped), and they are always ‘crazy colors’ like neon pink, violet, blue, turquoise etc. This is not a new phase either – its been at least 3 years since she started, so I can’t picture it ending before the wedding.
As harsh as it sounds, I can’t see it looking ‘right’ as everyone will be in formal dress. I feel terrible even saying that, but I can’t stop thinking ‘will it clash with her dress’, ‘will it be too distracting’, and similar worries.
These dyes are semi permenant and wash out. A few months back she let the dye fade and used a dye that matched her natural color. I personally thought it looked great, but of course she got bored of it!
Would I be completely unreasonable to ask her to let the dye fade before the wedding and have it toned to a natural, simple color, just until after the wedding? Or should I just let her keep it and forget being formal?
What would you do?
Sorry this was long, and please don’t think I’m a judgemental bridezilla lol. I may end up not even mentioning it..
Post # 3
@rosiebee29: If I were you I would ask her if she would be willing to have her hair a more natural color for the wedding but if she said no I probably wouldn’t push it. I might jokingly suggest that she could have it in a color that didn’t totally clash with my wedding colors but, it’s her head she gets to do what she wants.
Post # 4
I’m really anti-bridezilla but I think in this case it’s ok to ask her assuming you guys have a good relationship. Did you already ask her to be a bridesmaid? If not, I would talk about the hair first, but even if you already did I think you can bring it up. I might opt to do it via email so you can make sure your whole point gets across before she gets mad. I would say something like “I know this may make me sound like a crazy bridezilla and I’m totally not trying to be a b!tch, but would you mind toning down your hair a little for our wedding? I love your adventurous style, but we’re going for a formal look for the wedding and my mom and grandma are a little old-fashioned :)”
Or, better yet, have your FI do it!! Just have him say something like “I hope you don’t plan on having pink hair for our wedding!” the next time she’s around and see what she says.
Post # 5
I think its ok to ask. Pictures last forever, and you have a look you are going for. Again, these semi perm colors only last a few weeks, so you aren’t asking too much IMO
Post # 6
Her hair her choice. You knew that she experimented with her hair style/colour when you asked her to be your bridesmaid. Think about it this way how would you feel if someone asked you change your hair in a drastic way for their wedding? Not to mention how insulting it would be to ask her. You are basically saying that she isn’t good enough to be in your wedding the way she currently looks.
I thought you were supposed to love your friends/family for who they were and not how they looked.
Post # 7
I would ask her what colour she was going to do for the wedding… then have a light convo about it, mentioning that wouldnt it be funny if she had like bright orange hair with your blush coloured dress or whatever…
If anything maybe she will get the hint, or you will at least know what her plan is lol it is deff something to talk about though! But een if she has crazy hair, if she has it done for the wedding it wont look as bad as an eeryday style
Post # 8
@rosiebee29: my apologies, I’m not very savvy with hair products, but would it be possible for her to temporarily dye it a “normal” color and then wash it out the next day?
Better yet, maybe you could suggest a fun color that you feel would look great at the wedding – make it fun for the both of you because colored hair can actually look very nice and high fashion – just needs some planning 🙂
Post # 9
I think once your wedding is here and pictures are taken, her hair will be the last of your concerns. She’s your friend and her hair is part of what makes her, her. If your relationship is close enough, a gentle suggestion would be ok, if you really feel the need.
Post # 10
@rosiebee29: Doesn’t hurt to ask, but I wouldn’t push it. I think the focus is always on the bride anyway.
You could mention to the photographer that you’d like him to do what he can to not have pics focus on her hair, and get plenty of pics without her in them.
Post # 11
Sorry. I’m in the camp of her hair her choice. Especially since this is something she has been doing for a long time and something you clearly knew about. And really, at this point, this is likely a part of who she is. Just think abootu her, not her hair. People are more important than pictures. And I bet it’s not as bad as you think. At least it’ll make things interesting.
Post # 12
My sisters hair is currently cherry red and the bms dresses are pink.
At Christmas I semi-jokingly told her she needs to change it for September and she freaked.
And then I overheard anyone that would listen that I’m a terrible person.
Post # 13
I would say.. ask her if she can tone it down.. just a little.. maybe instead of her having a whole head of pink hair, she just adds a few bang steaks, or the underneath.
From time to time I add berry colored streaks to my bangs, or underdeath, enough to frame my face but not be crazy about it.
You could even offer to pay for her to get it professionally done, so it looks alot better [i’m just assuming she uses the at-home rinse out kits].
editted to add random google picture of what i’m talking about :
Post # 14
@RunnerBride13: +1, if not and you really want her there, then get her a real looking wig. Im sure you could find one.
Post # 15
do you think you two could work out a compromise? here’s a picture of my hair on my wedding day. since not all of the hair is colored, it was often not really noticeable or ‘in your face’.