Post # 1
My fiance and I have been having unending problems with his mother. She had a total freak out in March about everything wedding related when up to that point had shown no interest. She bottles up he concerns and then unleashes them on us in an attacking manner. Her true colours are really shining!
Most recently we showed her the wedding invitations and she through a fit, cried and stormed out of our house. This happened in front of my parents no less. We are actually not even sure why she did this but we think she is upset that my parents names are listed first over theirs. From my research this is traditional/etiquette and she is the one who keeps referring to etiquette!
My fiance and I are paying for the majority of the wedding but we put both parents names on as a mere courtesy. I really don’t think it matters whose names are first. But whatever.
Her attitude is definitely putting a dampening on our wedding experience and causing tension between my fiance and I.
Any advice? I’m desparate!
Post # 3
@sad_84: Honestly, she sounds a bit like a three-year old throwing a tantrum when things don’t go her way. I would just try to be firm and set boundaries with her. If they aren’t contributing to the wedding monetarily, then she has no room to complain about how you plan YOUR wedding. If she wants to give advice, let her know that you’ll consider it but you need to do what is best for you and your FI. It sounds like maybe once she realizes her antics get her nowhere, she’ll calm down. Hopefully. LOL!
The one other thing I would say is to try and let your FI deal with her since it’s his mom – you don’t want to be getting involved in the arguments – try to let him handle the issues when they come up, no need to give her reason to think of you as the bad person in this.
Good luck and try not to let it stress you out too much – it’s your wedding and you should be enjoying this time!
Post # 4
@sad_84: eeek! How is your relationship with FMIL otherwise?
Post # 5
Well it used to be great but now with all of this wedding drama I know she blames everything on me so it’s rocky at best. My fiance and I have planned everything together and we are happy with what we have done but she seems to be disgusted with all of our choices.
She even said “this is my wedding too”…actually it’s not!
Post # 6
@sad_84: With her being unhappy with all of the choices, I wouldn’t include her in the discussion about stuff anymore or even not mention wedding planning for awhile. If she’s reacting this way to the choices that you two are happy with, it’s best not to bring them up or show them to her. You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself (from the wise words of Ricky Nelson).
Post # 7
@sad_84: ummmmmmmm………………EXCUSE ME? NO ITS NOT! Maybe you could try putting her in charge of something you really don’t care much about? like……idk…….guest welcome bags……. or favors….?