Post # 1
My fiance’s mother is stressful, stubborn and crazy… she has been super frustrating ever since I got engaged.
Her first stunt was to ignore the fact that my fiance and I were engaged for several weeks after he proposed… when she did admit that it had occured, all she did was point out the reasons why my FI shouldn’t marry me.
Gradually she began to come around and to think of the impending wedding as less like a tragedy…
This past weekend she and my fiance’s two brothers came over to help me move out of my apartment. The brothers were really helpful moving heavy things but my future mother was ridiculous. Without asking me she cooked all of the left over food in my fridge and freezer (including bagels that were over a year old) and then insisted that we couldn’t move out until it was all eaten.
Then when I was in another room, she stating going through my closets and looking for receipts of things I had purchased (like clothes and makeup )
Then she insisted that her daughters sort through the bags of clothes that I was intending to give to good will because they were two sizes too big… but her daughters are a size smaller than my current size so none of the clothes were even close to fitting.
She also criticized me for having two open jars of applesauce in the fridge…
Needless to say it was a stressful weekend. I was fairly upset about all of it at first, but I am trying to keep my cool and I thought it might help if all of us brides with crazy mother- in-laws-to-be would share our stories.
So if you have any funny/nightmarish stories nosey, picky, judgemental, or crazy mothers, please share.
Also feel free to comment on my own story/situation. Advice is always appreciated.
Post # 3
Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with that. She sounds crazy and miserable.
I get along with my MIL but I have some crazy Grandmother-in-law stories involving wedding planning. I’m really concerned she’s going to behave like a lunatic at our wedding. She has already complained about my invitations (apparently they look like cheap Puerto Rican invites, whatever that means), complained about the size of my wedding party in relation to the guests, and thrown a huge hissy fit because my FMIL is putting her up in a hotel for the duration of the wedding weekend (because she needs to stay somewhere that’s handicap accessible). My FI’s father is gay and has a very nice partner who he’s been with a long time now and she said that it’s so tacky his partner is attending the wedding and she’s pissed that she’s going to be “seated at a table with fags.” I hate the fact that a bigot is coming to the wedding. I wish she’d just stay in Florida.
Post # 4
LOL wow she sounds horrid!!
Well my FMIL is fab! We get on really well!!
My mother on the other hand is a nightmare! If she asks how FI is doing its a surprise. She doesnt care about his family or any of our friends and whether or not they are going to be able to make it to the wedding (FI and I live in Ca, wedding will be in the UK where I’m from).
When discussing invitations last week she had decided that not only was she doing the invitations, FIs parents would not even feature on the invitations!! Erm disrespectful much? I told her that was never going to happen and that we would do the invites and they would be addresses from both sets of parents. But honestly how rediculous.
When we lived with them for a year she jabbed and digged at him trying to get him to fight back, which bless him he didn’t do, even though she had me in tears every night for almost a year because of the way she was treating me. And believe me he could put her in her place with ease.
When I was visiting recently she was admiring my new bag, when she realised it was a valentines gift from FI she said ‘Oh’ and turned away from it!!
Also when I was visiting she tried to drag his name into an argument. I mean really how stupid can you be? She treats me like crap and I think I’ve become used to it. But there is no way she is bringing him into an argument!! no way!!
Honestly you would have thought being as intelligent as she is that she would realise that being on opposite sides of the Atlantic means I really don’t have to speak to her.
Any way, rant over, I’m really sorry that your MIL is being such a monster. The main thing is that you have your FI and you guys love each other. You don’t have to see your MIL very often (i hope). Don’t let her ruin your big day!! And hey when she is a pain come here and share, I know I will be venting about my daft mother more and more as the wedding gets closer and she gets increasingly rediculous.
Post # 5
@misssvitanuova: omg so sorry you are going through this! **hugs**
@assilem: she said whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! I can’t believe people who still talk like this! Thank god it sounds like she has one foot in the grave already (meant to be a joke!)
Well here is my story.. my FMIL hates me because I have a kid. She has disowned her son because he refuses to break up with me..she yells and screams and rants to FI about how he is throwing his life away with me..(never mind that I had a kid young, held a job since I was 15, managed to double major in biochemistry and nuc physics in college.. go to temple every other sunday… travel the world on my own dime..and chose to give up a career because my FI is in the military.. none of that matters) because I am just using him for his money! She has called me and texted on numerous occations telling me that I will never be part of her family and calling my daughter a bastard and saying I should have kept my legs closed. :-/ She is not (I am assuming) coming to our wedding and will not let FI’s dad or little brother come either. OH- and she stalks me. Looks for me on fb and found our wedding website somehow.. and found me on wedding bee! (this is a new alias.. until she finds this one too!).. She has threatened to slap me.. and ruined FI’s graduation because of her antics. eh-good thing I have tough skin!
Post # 6
This past weekend I tripped, fell and sprained my ankle. I was in a lot of pain and she was there to witness all of it. She downplayed my pain almost immediately and kept repeating how it’s fine and it can’t be broken. We were out of town and instead of waiting for a few minutes, she insisted on keeping to plan and continued to sightsee, all the while, I’m in pain and she’s repeating how it’s nothing.
This continued throughout the day, making sure her precious schedule wasn’t broken. Prompting me to walk on it, regardless. She even said to me while no one was there to listen, “we’re not here often, we can’t miss etc, etc” as if to play along and be nice.
Well I did. The next day I still couldn’t walk and 6.5 hours in the emergency room later, she was right, nothing was broken but I had torn a ligament.
She’s dead to me now. I’m glad I can see her for who she really is.
Post # 7
I’ve been married for a few years now and have plenty of stories, the most recent was sort of silly. My in laws came down to visit us this weekend and my MIL insisted on bringing my husband’s 90 year old grandparents. The trip is a 15 hour drive. We told them many times we love his grandparents, but this was going to be too much for them. As usual, she ignored us. The grandfather just got out of the hospital- his systems were shutting down.
Needless to say, it was a very trying four days for them and I felt bad for the grandfather (poor guy was exhuasted- they walked him all over). One day my husband asked “Is anybody hungry? We can go have lunch..” The grandfather started saying, “I am..” and my MIL cut him off, “I won’t be ready for another hour or two!!”in her loud fake perky voice.
..He’s 90! She’s so self centered.
There was also lots of manipulation and guilting going on- but thinking about that makes me angry.
The real reason I can’t stand my MIL is because she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions. After we were married I found out IL’s had taken out credit cards in my husband’s name and maxed them out. My MIL had no problem placing all blame on FIL.
I’m jealous of people with normal MIL’s.
Post # 8
My FMIL keeps emailing/ fb messaging him about how he’s getting married many years too soon and that he should watch out because she’s somehow acertained that I have doubts about marriage.
Post # 9
@helenberrycrunch: lol gotta love that our FMILs are on fb!
Post # 10
Thanks for the stories… I too am jealous of people with normal mother in laws but its great to commiserate 🙂
Post # 11
@assilem: (totally off subject but I love your avatar. ahhh Twin Peaks makes me happy 🙂
FMIL jumps from being religious to VERY religious, but she isn’t too knowledgeable about the bible, so it can be pretty interesting. I am atheist but I’m pretty sure she thinks that anyone who is atheist is just going through a “phase” and will “come to Jesus” eventually or if she prays for them enough. I am very polite but firm when I speak to her about these issues.
FBIL just had a baby with his ex-wife… just thought I’d share that 🙂
Post # 12
Oh wait I for got to add that my future-mother-in-law got really upset about the fact that my FI bought me an engagement ring because she thinks that all engagement rings are a waste of money.
My ring is nice, but its nothing extravagant. (Its five stone with less that carat of total diamond weight.. and we spent less than $2000)
She did her best to make me feel guilty that my FI had bought me any ring at all. And that engagement rings are “wrong” in principle.
She is so crazy sometimes… how many people really think that all engagement rings are “wrong” in principle?
Post # 13
I do get along with my future mother in law most of the times, but she has her days. To start off, I am the youngest of three and the only girl and my fiancee is also the youngest of three and the only boy- problems already. My fiancee’s sisters both have been married before so my FMIL planned their big Italian weddings- now that my parents wanted to plan mine, she got a little too involved. She found out about the place that we were interested in and called to make an appointment to come in and do a food tasting (mind you, almost 2 years before the wedding) without telling anyone or asking us if that was alright. Then, my father called her up to let her know that we apperciate her help but my parents really want to take the reins since they are paying for it. She then makes a big scene and calls up my fiancee, crying that my father was SO mean. Mind you, she already planned two weddings! back off lol and my father is the nicest more generous man alive besides my fiancee (of course)
Then, she insists on inviting EVERYONE she knows- we both have big families but that doesn’t mean you have to invite Aunt Susie’s third cousin removed (exaggration) So my parents agreed to pay for 150 adults and anymore than that, she will have to cover- so she is putting out over $5000 more just to invite random people I don’t know.. just give us the money towards our wedding instead! If these people were not involved in our relationship for the past 7 years, they don’t need to come celebrate and be involved in and put out an additional $110 per head. I think alot of these people she is just inviting for show and for us to get more gifts/money- it isn’t about the money hunny its about our love, which you obviously don’t care about.
Most recently, my parents asked her when she was planning on giving them the money for the additional people since the wedding is less than 6 months away and she started crying AGAIN and told my fiancee that my parents think she is a low-life and isn’t going to pay…. talk about sensitive.
Mind you, she is a wonderful woman, but I don’t know if she is just too soft for me or she is trying to push my buttons on purpose. lol That feels better now.
Post # 14
My FMIL is a dream. I am very lucky to have her. She is very supportive and kind and graceous. My Mom, however, is alternating between passive agressive and fighting with me every step of the way.
Post # 15
I like my FMIL and we get along pretty well. She hasn’t done anything crazy like previous posters have mentioned, but one thing about her is that she’s super religious (I’m Christian, but not as devout as she is) and she is in major denial that FI and I live together. When FI and I visited his parents a couple years ago, we had two separate twin beds in one room (yes, like I Love Lucy) and couldn’t be in there together with the door closed.
I’m happy to respect her beliefs and all, but it still struck me as a bit ludicrous. FI is 33 years old (I’m 26), and I’m not the first woman he’s lived with. Safe to say his virginity is a lost cause.
Post # 16
@misssvitanuova: lol how many you ask? 1.