Post # 1
I am sure not everyone has that perfect relationship with their mother in law. I mean I cant be the only woman right? I have been married for almost a year. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, 6 in September. He is a true “momma’s boy”. She was a single parent for most of his child hood then later found a great man who does really well for himself, thus why I know they dont have true financial issues. I have recently found out that he has been giving his mother money for random things. Like teh money to buy her husband a new boat motor, 800 dollars. She claims she doesnt have money to pay their bills and keeps this from her husband. The entire problem with this is that we are expecting our 1st child in October and I feel as though my husband should be focusing on our new family and let his momma take care of her own issues. Am I being ridiculous? what should I do?
Post # 3
What concerns me most is this:I have recently found out that he has been giving his mother money…
I think you two definitely need to be communicating more about your finances. Every big financial decision should be made known in a married relationship; he can’t be spending almost $1,000 on anything without making you aware of it first, regardless of what it’s being spent on.
I would suggest you talk about that first and then move onto the issue of his mother at a different point in time; if he’s as much of a momma’s boy as you say, he’s going to get defensive if you act like you’re just mad that he’s helping his mom out.
Post # 4
I’d also recommend getting a budget in place. I assume you don’t have one because he managed to spend that much money without you noticing right away. Honestly I would expect his parents to pay you back for that because you DO need that money for your baby. If you husband disagrees with you then you have a real problem. If he can’t put his children first his going to be a horrible dad. I hope this isn’t the case.
But anyway, I would use this event to sit down and make a budget and also talk about big financial saving goals– you can bring up saving for the kid’s college or their wedding or even something more present like baby room furniture. He really can’t be giving away his family’s support to his mom for trivial things like motor boats. If he is really in disagreements with you over money and his role as a son vs father I’d recommend counseling.