- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
Why do my waiting moods change so much??? I’m good for a few weeks or days, then suddenly, BAM, I feel like “is he ever gonna marry meeeee???” “is he just stringing me a long???” Then I feel good for a while again, and I’m all in love and happy go lucky. And I start thinking everything he says is a hint about him getting ready to propose, so I get all excited. Then weeks pass without talk of it, so I get sad again and start thinking and wondering if we really are on the same page at all. I wonder if he wants to get engaged as soon as I do, or if he is thinking way into the future. Then again, he says something that makes me think “oh my gosh maybe he IS planning something!”
For example, yesterday I got in one of my down “will he ever marry me???” moods. First, he said he doesn’t know how I don’t know the answer if he tells me all the time that he wants to marry me. Then, he told me that sometimes he starts getting ready to go look at rings, but then I get like this and he gets annoyed. Well, that kinda annoyed ME. It made me feel as if he can change his mind about marrying me just like that or almost like he is just saying that to manipulate me into shutting up about it. Well, a little while later I asked if he feels that I push him away at those moments, and he said no but he just doesn’t like feeling nagged into it. I guess I can get that.
Well, then later in the evening, he was telling me how he talks about me to this friend at work. He said his friend asked him when we were getting married, so I said “oh yeah? what did you say?” and he said “well, I can’t tell you but I do tell her some stuff that you would find very interesting.” I laughed and said “really, tell me,” and he said “I can’t tell you, but just know that you would like some of what I tell her.” Of couse my girl brain is like “ahh, maybe he IS looking, and he said that thing he said earlier, so I could stop nagging him.” But then my cynical brain thinks he is just teasing. I dunno.
Oh my gosh! I really really DO want this to be a surprise when it does happen, but I can’t help but want to know sooooo bad! I need help and advice on calming down and not nagging him. I want to be nag free for at least 6 months. How do ya’ll do it when you have that nagging feeling to nag? lol And how do ya’ll do it to keep from having those down waiting moods? If only I could figure out how to cope with those moods without nagging…