Post # 1
I’ve been on the fence about taking on my fiance’s last name. I would like us both to have the same last name, but I feel uneasy about taking his. For me, a new name symbolizes our new life together, so why wouldn’t he change his as well?
I’ve brought this up with my fiance and he’s actually willing to create a new last name together. It would be a combination of our two last names. I love the idea of beginning our life together as a married couple with a new family name but am worried about how other people will react. His family name is Jewish and mine is Polish (but sounds Russian). While we respect both of our family backgrounds, they don’t represent who we feel we are.
Do you know anyone else who has done this? How did it go over? What do you guys think?
Post # 3
i have never known anyone to create a new last name. i’ve known plenty of couples who both take a hyphenated name, and to be honest, i’m not a fan. i don’t think your families will react well to this idea
Post # 4
My mom did this the second time she married. They took half of their mother’s maiden names and combined them to make something new.
Post # 5
I have heard of people coming up with an “alternative” last name, but I really don’t see the point in it. Family is important, I would want to keep the names, especially for future children should there be any. I didn’t change my last name when I got married, I just hyphenate my maiden name and DH’s last name.
I just think family is family. Anything can happen in a marriage, but family will be there forever. Of course god forbid I ever got divorced, but things can and do happen. Do I really want to have my new legally changed last name be my alternate name I made up with my ex husband?
Post # 6
If that’s what you want to do then go for it! Mrs. Star did that as well.
The Stars Brave the Name Change Storm Together
Post # 7
I’ve always loved that idea and I’m glad your Fiance is keeping an open mind about it. I think there are far too many guys out there who just expect us to give up our names without question because it’s “tradition”.
Post # 8
I want to do this! I’ve been trying to convince my Fiance for us to both change our last name. I just don’t see why only one of us, (read: me), should have to do this if marriage is supposed to be about an equal and mutual parternship. I’ve even made it easier for him by suggesting we just use the English translation of his current Italian last name, (something is ancestors should have done anyways when they came over). But he won’t budge. sigh.
I think it’s a wonderful idea. Honestly, I don’t think you should worry too much about what people will think. Really who cares what they think. it’s your name. And everyone will eventually get used to it and not even think twice about it.
Post # 9
i’ve heard of people doing this, but i’ve not known any of them personally. i think the biggest concern i would have is creating a name that’s too long (also, why i’m not a fan of hyphenated names) or something that sounds silly, but if you can find something that works for both of you without sounding like a mismatch, go for it!
you could break down the names into their individual meanings and see if you can put parts together that would make sense or are symbolic, or just sound good. i can definitely see one or both families reacting unfavorably, though.
good luck with whatever you choose! i really wish our culture had more gender neutral rules on the subject of marriage and family…
Post # 10
My parents did this! I think it worked out ok for them, but my dad’s family is very traditional so I think there was always a bit of unspoken animosity from his side about it (‘how dare you turn your back on the family name’ kind of thing). One caveat, now my parents are divorced (unrelated to the last name change…haha) and as they have both gone back to their “maiden” names, I am the only one in my family with my last name. Regardless, I think this is a great idea.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
If it what you and your Fiance want to do, I say go for it! It’s your names, which you have to live with for the rest of your lives, so ultimately, the only people who have to be happy with this decision is you and your Fiance.
I totally agree with your sentiment, and so my Fiance and I are both hyphenating. We both like our last names, and they work really well together, so we’ll both be taking each other’s, and I couldn’t be more excited!
Post # 12
I think it is a great idea when everyone is willing! I love my FIs last name, but if I didn’t, I would seriously consider it. Just know that it will be a bit more difficult process changing both of your names as far as paperwork goes.
Post # 13
I personally don’t like it. It takes out the history and meaning of names.
Post # 14
I’m friends with a couple who did it. It worked out really well for them, and they love it! It’s especially neat for them because theirs sounds like it should be a “real” last name, but in truth, they’re the only people in the world with it. If it’s something you both want to do, then go for it!
Post # 15
Very cool idea! I don’t know anyone personally who’s done it, but The Bowie Bride and her husband did: http://www.bowiebride.com/search/label/last%20name%20game
Post # 16
Awesome plan! Now I’m curious what it will be. 🙂