Post # 1
I don’t want my dad to “give me away” because I feel that I’m not his to give. I still want him to walk me down the aisle, but I figured when we got to the end he could give a little hug or something, then take his seat. I told my mom this once in passing, and she told my dad. Thanks, Mom. I was going to tell him myself so I could see his reaction and how to handle the situation. Well, apparently, he got upset. I didn’t know he’d ever thought about it, let alone that he would get upset he didn’t get to do it. I told a couple friends about this, and they said maybe we could come up with some different wording that doesn’t say anything about being given. We’re not religious, so I don’t want anything like that, but I’m honestly drawing a blank on a nice thing to say so he can still have some part in the wedding. Has anyone else done this or does anyone else have a nice idea? Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
He’s upset even though you still want him to walk you down the aisle, just because instead of him physically handing you off to your Fiance you want him to just hug you instead? 🙁 Hmm
I was trying to think of something creative – all that’s coming to mind is that you can say he’s escorting you, which is not really creative (in fact, pretty literal), but it’s at least different than saying he’s “giving you away” since you don’t like the connotation behind that phrase.
Post # 4
@GreenGables: My friends said somehing like who gives their blessing, but I don’t want anything religious. I’m at a loss. I have no idea what to say that doesn’t mean the same thing as being given away. Sigh.
Post # 5
Escort you down the aislE?
Post # 6
The wording we’re probably to have the priest use is “Who supports this woman in her marriage to this man?” to which my dad can answer “Her mother and I do”. I didn’t like the idea of being given away, but I do like the idea of having parents give their support. We’re also going to have the same question asked to FI’s parents because we like things being equal.
Post # 7
We are doing “who supports these two on their wedding day and this marriage..” or something like that (not religious either). and all 4 of our parents are saying “we do”
Post # 8
(1) Bride’s Parents:
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
Father and /or Mother – “I do/We do”
For the Modern woman
Who brings this woman to be married to this man?
Father and /or Mother – “I do/We do”
(2) Bride and Groom’s Parents:
“Do you, the parents of the bride and groom (or, insert the names of bride and groom’s parents) give your blessing to this couple and promise them your continued love and support, upholding them in their marriage?”
Answer: “We do”
(3) Guest Affirmation:
“Will all of you witnessing these vows do everything in your power to uphold (bride) and (groom) in their marriage?”
Answer: “We will”
This affirmation may also be interjected with humour:
I am going to ask all of you a question but don’t worry here is the answer- “We will!”
Now for the question: “Will all of you hearing these vows do everything in your power to uphold our couple in their marriage. And the answer is?” – “We will !”
Post # 9
We have a few options
Who stands with this woman to symbolize her family’s support of this union?
Who stands with this woman in support and blessing of this marriage?
I like the second one the best. My brother will be with me.
Post # 10
I’ve also read somewhere that it could be “Who presents this woman…” I like the PP wording of supports though
Post # 11
You could say;
‘who presents this Bride for marriage’
and your father could say ‘Her family and I’
‘She presents herself with with her families blessing’
I’ve never even thought about this part of the ceremony! EEK!
Post # 12
Thanks for all the responses, ladies!
Post # 13
@GroovyHippieChick: I really like that first one, but I need to think of a way to word it so his response would be “Her mother and I do” instead of just “I do”. Any thoughts on that?
Post # 14
My ceremony wording will be, “Who brings this woman to join with this man in marriage?” I didn’t like the whole implication of the wording “who gives this woman…” It’s probably just semantics, but I felt like “brings” was more my dad walking with me, not giving me away like I’m chattel.
Post # 16
I also do not want this wording used. Currently I’m leaning towards just a hug & dad going to his seat, but I suppose he could read a short poem or something of the like.
You need to make him see that this is not about HIM, it is about YOU. YOU are not property, and YOU cannot be “given away”.