Critique this follow-up email for me, please!

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@LadyBlackheart:  It’s good, a little informal…if that’s the energy of the place you applied at, I’d say you hit it on the head, for the subject line, I would reference the day I interviewed and my full name.

Post # 4
8847 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@LadyBlackheart: Sounds pretty good.  I would replace a few of the “hope”s, and remove an exclamation mark.  It comes across as a little over-eager, you know?  I made some edits below:

Dear Editor,

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! I wanted to check in with you and reiterate that I am very interested in the associate editor and media manager position. Please let me know if I can provide you with any additional information. Thank you, and I hope you have a great day.


Lady Blackheart

Post # 5
502 posts
Busy bee

I would move the ‘Thank you, and I hope you have a great day’ to a separate line in the email as opposed to everything being one paragraph. Overall it gets its point across without sounding pushy — which is very rare to come across! (I work in HR and do a lot of hiring and deal with a LOT of “Uh, hi, I interviewed, am I hired or what?”)

ETA: That’s taking into account what @lolot said, I totally agree. 

Post # 8
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@LadyBlackheart:  They could be catching up on work leftover from the holiday weekend.  Hopefully you’ll hear some good news tomorrow.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you 🙂

Post # 9
502 posts
Busy bee

To me that sounds like they haven’t made the decision yet, or else they would have a faster response to send you. Both before offering a position, or turning down a candidate, everything needs to be set in stone, and they probably don’t want to have to respond with “Yep, thanks, but we’ll still let you know in a little bit!” especially if they gave you a deadline and haven’t been able to meet it.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors