Critques for these vows?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 5
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s a bit much for me. One of my pet peeves about personal vows is when they take on the stance of “I was nobody until I met you”. I absolutely hate it. the person who says it (most of the time, it’s the bride) either has/had really low self-esteem or has a skewed idea about what a relationship means. The sentiment behind all her words is sweet but I think she took it too far. It’s akin to adding whipped cream, chocolate syrup AND sprinkles on a cake that already has a bunch of frosting on it. Not the best metaphor, but you get what I mean…

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I thought they were sweet.  I tried to edit a little bit to make it sound better, but honestly she knows her groom and what he will like best.

Groom, you are everything I aspire to be.  With the adoration you have for your family, the unwavering enthusiasm you bring to everything you do and your smile that just makes my heart flutter- you are the magic of my days. You have given me so many moments filled with joy, excitement, affection and love- so many more than I ever dared imagine for myself; I have never felt as visible or beautiful with anyone else as I have with you. You have loved me and given me the courage to become the person I have always aspired to be. Being with you is the greatest adventure I have ever known. With my deepest love and fullest devotion, I promise that I will never forget the inspiration of this moment. I will live with intention. I will respect your individuality and appreciate our differences. I will participate in our marriage as your equal- as a present listening audience. I will be a champion for your dreams, deserving of your trust and worthy of your confidence. I will never stop trying in this relationship. I will give you all of me without expectations.  I will tell you the truth. I will be your most trusted critic. I will always make time for us to attend to our friendship, to pursue each other, to celebrate small victories and sometimes surprise ourselves. I will share with you my wanderlust and ambitions and secret and fears. Wherever you go, wherever we stay, I will  be there to hold your hand every chance I get and to kiss you goodbye- every single time. I will miss you with everything that I am. With patience and gratitude, I will return kindness, acceptance and generosity to your family. I will make passion, caring and choice each an integral part of our own family as we build a life together that we can be proud of. I will embrace the inevitability of change with faith and optimism. I will relearn the man that you become. I will treasure who you are, what we have and how you make me feel each and every day. I will forever be endlessly proud and eternally grateful to have found in you my truest friend and husband. I will have no greater love than you. I will endeavour to deserve us for the rest of my days.  I love you.  Thank you for marrying me.

Also, I don’t know how I feel about saying thank you for marrying me, because it sounds like he’s doing you a favor which just rubs me the wrong way.  But maybe she could say. “I could not be happier that you are marrying me today” or something along those lines.” 

Post # 7
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mojitolady:  I agree with this. It rubs me the wrong way, as does the “thank you for marrying me.”

It was a little hard to follow too, I find a meaningful set of vows can get lost in a muffle of words when its not kept to short and simple lines and paragraphs. Is this a normal length? For the weddings I have experienced these are long, but it may be different where you live?

Just a thought, good luck to your FSIL!

 

 

 

ETA I tried to edit as little as possible, but here:

 

Groom,

You are everything I aspire to be.

You, with the adoration you have for your family, the unwavering enthusiasm you bring to everything you do, and your smile which makes my heart stutter.

You are the magic of my days.

You have given me so many moments that explode with joy, excitement, affection and love; so many more than I ever dared imagine for myself.

I have never felt as visible, relevant or beautiful with anyone as I do with you.

You turned me into somebody loved, and gave me the courage to become the person I have always aspired to be.

Being with you is the greatest adventure I have ever known.

With my deepest love, and fullest devotion, I promise that I will never forget the inspiration of this moment.

I will live with intention.

I will respect your individuality and appreciate our differences.

I will participate in our marriage as your equal; as a present, listening audience.

I will be the champion for your dreams, deserving of your trust and worthy of your confidence.

I will never stop working on our relationship.

I will give you all of me without expectations.

I will seek the potential in all my flaws.

I will tell you the truth as I understand it to be.

I will be your most trusted critic.

I will always make time for us to attend to our friendship, to pursue each other, to celebrate victories small and large, and sometimes surprise ourselves.

I will share with you my wanderlust, ambitions, secrets and fears.

Wherever you go, I will be there to hold your hand every chance I get, and to kiss you goodbye every time.

I will miss you with everything that I am.

I will lead by example.

With patience and gratitude, I will return kindness, acceptance and generosity to your family.

I will make passion, caring and choice each an integral part of our family, as we build a life together we can be proud of.

I will embrace the inevitability of change with faith and optimism.

I will re-learn the man that you become.

I  will treasure who you are, what we have and how you make me feel each and every day.

I will be endlessly proud, and eternally grateful, to have found in you, my truest friend and husband.

I will have no greater love than you.

I will endeavour to deserve us for the rest of my days.

I love you.

Post # 8
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I totally missed the “Thank you for marrying me” part. Yeah, that doesn’t fly with me either! We’re writing our own vows and our officiant said the sweet spot is between 250-300 words for each of us, because after that point, you lose everyone’s attention, including the attention of the person whom you’re about to marry.

Post # 11
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

It was really hard to get through… I actually stopped reading in the middle. It seemed superficial with a lot of descriptive words that didn’t have real substance…. And it was really long.

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