Post # 1
I’m a writer and take a lot of pride in my work. It’s hard to find people who are willing enough to talk about English in my area let alone are interested in poetry, which is what I like to focus my writing in. Anyways, I was waiting outside of my classroom for someone to unlock the door with the rest of the students that are in my class when a man from the class next door asked me if I was an artist because he always sees me in what he deems, “artistic clothing”. I must say I do dress quite differently from a lot of people at school and then just told him that I’m a writer. I guess he’s taking a Children’s Literature class the hour I’m taking Intro to Poetry.
We had an interesting short conversation across the hall about trying to get published. (I would like to publish sometime in the future, FI has been/will be working on trying to publish two of his books, and the man I was talking to wanted to publish a children’s book before he found out how much work it was.) Anyways, at the end of our conversation he said he would willingly read my poetry if I wanted. I don’t find this to be flirtatious at all, merely someone who is interested in a topic I find others struggle to relate with. But then I got to thinking. I know his intentions seem good, he’s married, I’m engaged. As long as we aren’t meeting in private at school I find no problem giving some of my works to him to look over, right? I just like to analyze these kinds of things too much I guess and you can feel free to tell me I’m nutty for even thinking this way, I just don’t want to mislead anyone…we would solely be talking about literature if we ever spoke again…and only at school.
I have met some wonderful people and had some wonderful conversations with them about poetry. I once met the man who wrote the scripts for “Saved by The Bell” and he LOVED my writing. He didn’t tell other people that he was the author of those for personal reasons but I checked his picture online and it’s him!! I just find it hard sometimes when most of the time strangers that I meet that are interested are men. I don’t want my FI to feel weird.
Post # 3
I think it’s fine. I would just talk to your FI openly about it. The only time friendships really become a problem are when things are hidden.
On a side note: Super cool that you met the Saved by the Bell writer!
Post # 4
Being engaged does not mean that you never again get to have a conversation with a married person of the opposite sex.
A conversation across the hall is…a conversation across the hall.
Post # 5
@jo.lee:I know he was awesome! It was even better to know that he really liked my writing and that he frequents a local coffee shop but worries that people would be strange or not genuine I think if he told them who he really is.
Post # 6
I personally don’t see anything wrong with this guy reading your work. As long as it doesn’t develop into anything more, I don’t see it as an issue. I would definitely run something like this past your FI though. Guys can be tricky sometimes. My FI wouldn’t have an issue with something like this but some men do.
ETA: Totally awesome on the “Saved By The Bell” guy!
Post # 7
Nah I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You sound like you are 100 percent totally committed to your FI, and that other guy is married. I am also a writer, and as a result meet with different people all the time to discuss my work. It is not unusual. Try not to read too much into it unless something happens to make you think this guy’s intentions are not so honorable. At this time, it seems like he really is just looking for a great “meeting of the minds.”
Post # 8
I don’t think you are being silly for being aware of the possibility that any given interaction might have the potential for crossing the line. I think it’s when we tend to not think that it’s ever a possibility is when we sometimes might find ourselves in a situation we never intended.
Having said that, it doesn’t appear to me that there is anything at all objectionable going on here. This other man is probably also happy to find someone else who shares an interest that not many others have. Giving him your writing for him to take home to read is fine. Now had he said, “Why don’t you bring some of your poetry over to my house on Saturday evening so that you can read it to me?” you might have an issue!
Post # 9
@julies1949 Oh I know that! I have male friends I text and I’m very good friends with a male coworker. I just wouldn’t ever go out with him by ourselves or anything. I wasn’t trying to read into today’s conversations…I guess I was more worried about showing him my works.
Post # 10
I’m sure everything’s fine and he really just wants to help you, nothing more. But still–I am always a little leery in these situations, too. It doesn’t hurt to have your eyes open, you know? Just in case things take a turn toward the flirtatious…you want to be aware, that’s all.
I always assume the best of people, but it’s true what you say–almost all the strangers I meet are men. Hmm.