Post # 1
Why do all the ladies I know think it’s funny to joke about me getting pregnant as soon as I get married?? They whisper about me getting pregnant on the honeymoon, they cheer when I break bows, and they joke about having to throw a baby shower soon after having thrown me a bridal shower. I don’t think it’s funny at all! And even though I tell them I don’t appreciate their baby comments, the comments keep coming!
As a Catholic, I’ll be open to life and lovingly raise any child God gives me. HOWEVER the reason I’m getting married is not because I want to start popping babies out; it’s because I’m ready to commit myself to my fiance until death do us part. For me, marriage is about the union of two people, not about babies. And crude comments about getting knocked up on our first weekend together are NOT acceptable in my book. Am I not worth more than my womb?
Sorry for the feminist vent. Just needed to get that out. Please add your own vents!
Post # 3
Oh trust me – they don’t stop. I had my mom asking me when we were getting pregnant before we were even married (give us a little bit of time, will you??) Now that we’re married almost 3 years, she almost angry at me that we’re not pregnant yet. I hate to tell her, but we’re going to have children when WE are ready, not when she demands a grandchild. Thank goodness my MIL respects us and our privacy when it comes to when we’re having kids.
Hang in there…no matter how many times you tell people, the comments will still come from somewhere.
Post # 4
I’ve kind of learned how to deal with the baby jokes, what I’m worried about now is how to I deal with all the annoying crap when I am actually pregnant. The one that makes me cringe and want to kick someone in the shins is when people just assume that your pregnant belly is part of a petting zoo. oh HELLS NO! I’m not a very touchy feely person to begin with, so the thought of people wanting to touch my belly makes me sick. Thankfully, most people I know are polite enough to ask, but I’ve seen some random people walk up to pregnant friends and just rub their belly….ick…hands off peoples. Pretty much the only people that will be allowed to touch my belly are my husband (I won’t mind that one bit) and my mom and my sisters (but only when the baby is kicking).
I will admit, I love advice and beings I don’t have children, I’ll welcome it…to a point. The minute a mom, or a dad, goes into the “my way is the only way” tirade, I’ll tune out. Unfortunately, pregnancy, like weddings, is just one of those things that people think they can take off their word filter and say whatever they want. So stinkin annoying.
Post # 5
I get those comments too but I don’t consider them to be crude. I just say, “not for a few years, ladies,” and move on.
Post # 6
Argh, I had one of my ninth grade students tell me on Saturday that I should have kids already because I’m 23 and old enough. When I told her I was still too young and wasn’t yet married, and that, in fact, I planned to wait at least another three or four years, she told me that 20 was a GREAT age to start having kids. I said no, but she insisted because they would be cute. I think she really just wants American babies to coo at, but it was WEIRD.
Post # 7
I hate all the commens as well. My FI and I have been fending them off for about 2 years now and we got engaged this march! I just told people that we weren’t having kids and that made them stop, but at our bridal shower this weekend we had to answer questions and so ofcourse it came out that we do plan on having 2 kids. I know this might be mean but whenever people say things that are a bit intrusive to me about us having kids and stuff I just simply tell them that with them acting and saying the things they are right now, that when we are planning on having kids or we are pregnant they will be the last to know.
Post # 8
@JsDragonfly: I couldn’t agree more! I think when I get pregnant, I’m going to make myself a special tee-shirt that says “don’t touch this” on the belly. Tee hee!
Post # 9
I hear you! We aren’t having children – imagine how I feel when I get all the comments about how they can’t wait to throw us a shower, or ask how many kids we are going to have?! I get so irritated that they just assume we are going to have kids…
Post # 10
Oh I hear ya! every couple of days or so people ask, “so are you planning to have kids anytime soon”. ” or you two will have such cute babies!”. Even my FI nephew asked me when I was going to have a baby. He wants a cousin to play with. I want to get done with college before even thinking about kids!
Post # 11
@jenbrandner: When my BFF got preggers I got her some shirts that said “I’m not fat I’m pregnant” and “touch the belly lose a hand” my favorite was when her hands got too swollen to wear her wedding band so I got her a shirt that said “Maybe now he’ll marry me” Her hubby LOVED that one! Everytime people ask us when we are going to start poping out babies I always think when did my ovaries become their concern, pretty soon I’m jsut going to start letting my inside voice out because it’s super annoying!!!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks marriage is about more than having babies.
Post # 13
@GreenEyedMoon: Haha, when my friend left, some of his junior high students gave him a goodbye speech that included “Please get married soon” and then shoving the (single) teacher at him… awkward!
Post # 14
Every time it gets brought up (my soon to be husband gets texts from both of his parents asking when we’re having kids, luckily I refuse to give them my cell phone number), I very seriously look them in the eye and tell them an honest answer. In our case, I very calmly tell them that I don’t think women should exist to have children and that I want a career, not a family. And then I say that *if* we have children, we will likely adopt and it won’t be for years. It is usually awkward, but it fends off questions for a while. If you answer in a jokey way, people will think you are teasing them.
Post # 15
I am so happy I’m too old for those questions! I remember before I was married the first time, my FFIL took me out to pick strawberries on his farm, and started making all these comments about, “You see how fruitful the strawberries are? And how happy it makes them?” Umm… seriously? I tried to deflect it by pointing out that we weren’t even married yet. And his response was, “But you know we would love grandchildren, regardless of that.”
I really loved my ILs, but that drove me nuts!
Post # 16
What I do Jen , when they say “Beatriz when are you and Y having babies. I reply I already have a baby. People ask how old is he? he’s 28 years old .” I just laugh it off.
As for your future baby shirt it made me remember MCHammer “Can’t touch this” song
In addition, Jen on the light side marriage is also about cooking, being a mother and nurse to your fH, feeding your big adult baby.