- 5 years ago
After a year of trying, my husband and I have decided that it is best that we put TTC on hold for a few years. I’m crushed. I called my doctor’s office this morning to…discuss…birth control. *sigh*
Long story short, I’ve been waiting for a nursing program for about a year and a half. It was supposed to be about three, maybe four years. So we had this window (not knowing it would take this long) where we thought I could get pregnant and be a stay at home mom for a 6-12 months before starting this program (financially, we can live off of his income alone, nursing is just a dream of mine). Well, things changed. USUALLY, they accept 30 students every semester so usually I go down on the waitlist a little more than that each semester. This last time, I went down 101 spots. World. Changed.
If this happens again next semester, I will be starting in the fall semester. Even if I only go down 50 spots, I will be starting the following spring semester.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to get in the program sooner. I’m even more thrilled that I will have the opportunity to not be a mom during this program (it’s a rigorous program and I was kind of dreading that, but I knew I could do it!). I’m fine being pregnant during the program. I’m fine even having kids during the program. But what I’m not fine with? I can not deliver mid-semester. I would have to return to school like, the next day! Even if I got I dunno…two weeks off, what would I do with a two week-old baby?
After a long talk with my husband this morning, I am going back on birth control. It’s so frustrating because even though we’ve tried for 12 cycles without success, if I magically were to get pregnant, it would be really, really tough on us unless I were to deliver in the summer. The school is not very forgiving when it comes to that kind of stuff – at ALL. I would have to go to the bottom of the 300-400 person waitlist and be out whatever money I spent. Plus I think I would have to start over.
My poor husband is just devastated. That’s the worst part about it. To be completely honest, I am thrilled to be able to really start on my career. I’m crushed that we won’t be TTC anymore, but at the same time, the reason we aren’t TTC anymore is a pretty good one in all actuality, which makes it a little easier. I’m trying to focus on the positives… He just wants a baby so badly and it is just killing him that we have to wait another 2-3 years. He has his head on his shoulders and he knows it’s the right thing to do for all (me, him, future children…) of us in the long run, though.
And now of course if we stop, I won’t get in for the fall. And something will probably fall through for the spring. Because that’s just our luck. *sigh*
Thanks for listening bees. I’m not sure what I’m really looking for in writing this. I suppose just as an FYI. Maybe what kind of birth control would you recommend… I’m thinking a Paraguard because I already have super light periods so if they were heavier it wouldn’t bother me, PLUS I get the added benefit of no hormones since I think that is partially what contributed to our infertility. Thoughts?
And you bet your butt that when I am within 8ish months of graduating I am going off of birth control and we are starting over! And I will be back full force by then. I will still be hanging around all the time, of course. Thanks again for listening (reading? lol).