- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So I don't want to get into a huge debate over the CIO topic. I'm sure there are MANY posts on here discussing the pros and cons. Just know that I am resorting to the CIO attempt out of sheer desperation. I never thought I'd try it, but my daughter is now 8 months old and still wakes at least 10 times every night (she also only takes 2, 20-minute naps a day, if I'm lucky.) Anyway, I'm exhausted and am concerned SHE isn't getting the rest she needs either. (She has no problem falling asleep..while nursing...at bedtime. It's KEEPING her down during the night that's the problem.)
So I'm gonna try the CIO method. I know there are varying degrees of CIO, but I think going in and comforting my daughter at various intervals will only upset her more. So I'm thinking about going cold turkey. No more multiple trips to her room to nurse her back to sleep. (She's EBF, and uses a paci.)
That being said, I'm terrified of the process. Hearing her cry is heartbreaking and I know she can scream for a good hour without fail. (She's done so in the car, plenty of times.) In fact, that's just her warm up. Crazy stamina on my kiddo.
Can anyone who has tried CIO tell me if it worked for them? Or didn't for that matter? How long did you do it? At what age? I just need a few words of advice before I (gulp!) do this.
And again, please no huge debate on the CIO method. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions on parenting. I haven't been flippant in this decision. I've read a lot and have come to this conclusion for my own family. I'd just like to hear from some parents who have actually been there.
Big thanks!
maybe she cries so much because she is tired? I don't have kids but my friend has 3 and her first 1 would cry alot because she was not sleeping enough. She started a routine and let her cry it out. Eventually she would fall asleep. She got used to the routine. She learned the difference between sick/hungry/wet/finnicky cries. (I hope I learn the diferences when I have a baby! lol)
Maybe the baby is teething? So she's upset and in pain?
I'm sorry i'm not much help. My baby experience is only through my friend. But I hope you get more info from other mother bees! Just remember to stay strong if you do CIO! I can only imagine how hard it is to hear your baby cry! Good luck! :)
I never thought that I would be the cry it out type. However, when I moved in with DH and his son, 1 at the time, he was still getting up in the middle of the night, I agreed to try the CIO method after I tried everything else. 3 days in, he stopped! And the next time he got up he was 3 years old and nightmares were involved, which is a whole other ball game.
Does she have a consistent bed time? Does she have a soft low night light (sometimes babies panic waking up in total darkness)? A source of white noise like a fan? Have you talked to her pediatrician about this?
I never did cry it out. Not to spark the dreaded debate, I just think it's (SORRY!) kind of harsh. If kids associate their crib with memories of endless screaming, of course they aren't going to want to be in bed. I'd try other methods first, and trust me I am very sympathetic to the no sleep issue. Consistent, solid bed time. She shouldn't really still be waking up to feed so much. Warm soothing bath right before bed. Fresh linens. Circulating air, soft noise. Night ligt. Military consistent bed time routine. My daughter's bed time routine takes a good hour, but once it's done she's out for the night.
Explore if she's going through pain or discomfort too, and talk to her pediatrician. When kids are overtired because they aren't getting a good nap during the day, that can actually keep them up at night.
Thanks, MissCallieJean. Yes, I think you nailed it. She IS overtired because she never gets good nighttime sleep and fights naps during the day (despite her sheer exhaustion). I feel helpless.
We thought maybe she was gonna be an early teether (due to crankiness and lots'o'droolin'), but at 8 months, still no teeth yet. haha. I think her fussiness is partly just her personality (and we love her to pieces anyway) and partly because she's plain ol' pooped. I thought solids might help...but nope. Tried gas drops in case it was that...nope. Tried the teething tablets...nope. Still have a wakey, wakey baby.
I have used the bath, song, book routine with her every night since she moved to her own crib at 3 months. And like I said, I don't have too much trouble PUTTING her down for the night (though the pedi says I should stop nursing her to bed). The problem is getting her to soothe herself BACK to sleep after she wakes so many times. Usually, she just screams until I nurse herself back to sleep. I think I've created bad habits in her and now I (sadly) have to break them.
All my logic says CIO is right for ME with THIS baby...but my heart still hurts for her. I'm hoping other people's experiences might give me some added support so I stick with it as I try to tune out the hysterics.
Again, I appreciate the responses! At what age did you try it? How long did it take? Any regrets?
@KatyElle. I hear ya. It IS kinda harsh. That's why I'm so torn. But in order to be the best mom (or actually a functioning one), I have to get more than 3 hours of sleep a night (which is about what I've gotten every night for the past 8 months). I know I sound like Miss Complainy here. That is really not my intent. And my apologies is I sound that way. I just really have tried so many gentler approaches with no success...which has left me with the CIO option. I certainly wouldn't have tried it when she was younger, but my pedi says a healthy 8-month-old should be sleeping through the night by now. He says she should be able to go 8-12 hours without a feeding. I think my daughter has just gotten used to me rescuing her...and I've inadvertantly taught her that the only way to fall asleep/fall BACK asleep is by nursing. It's my fault really.
Oh to answer your questions:
Yes, she has a white noise machine on all night...
No fan...Should I get one?
Yes, she has a consistant bedtime after our bedtime rituals: 6:30pm. I've tried keeping her up later, but she won't have it (probably due to the lack of naps) She wakes up abut 10 times every night...I nurse her back to sleep...(leaving me exhausted and sore in the morn)...she is up for the day at 4am, without fail.
She goes to bed with a little glow soother doll. It turns off after 5 minutes, but she is asleep by then anyway. However, it is off when she wakes in the night...so the room is pitch black (with blackout curtains). SHOULD IT BE LIGHTER IN THERE? Do you think maybe she wakes, scared?
@mwitter80: 3 days? Really? At 1-year-old, no less. OK, that gives me a little encouragement there. I was already mad at myself for letting it get to this point. I personally think CIO shouldn't even be tried on babies younger than 4 months, but I was thinking I am late to the game at 8 months. (Like, I said, I tried everything else first!) I keep thinking this would be a tad easier if she couldn't stand and cry "maamaa." Kills me.
I used the cry it out with my son, who's 4 years old now. It always gets worse before it gets better- but after a week he was really good in his routine and life was much easier.
At the daycare, we layed evey baby 12 months and up on their own cot, played sleepy time music and patted their backs, laying them on their tummy. We didnt look them in the eyes or talked to them, just patted their backs until they fell asleep.
At first they cried and wiggled and faught, but they learned and got that this was sleepytime and they were in a routine.
Every baby we got, no matter how stubborn, would always submit to the routine and be a happier child becasue of it!
Have you tried forgoing the last nap and putting her down earlier?
@goodbuddy: If she's breastfed and waking up to feed at 8 months, she's doing so for comfort and not (likely) because she is hungry. Frustrated, but probably not hungry.
All babies are different! Some parents do have success at CIO. I can share a little trick that's worked among people I know with children.
At night, when she wants to feed, give her a bottle with a little water in it. Go in, drop it off, leave. If she's waking up expecting a meal and mom time and only gets a bottle of water night after night, eventually she's going to realize that waking herself up to cry isn't getting her the milk, it's only keeping her tired and grumpy. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe give it a try? Babies are pretty quick on the uptake.
I used the CIO method with DS when he didn't need a middle of the night feeding anymore. First night was the WORST and it felt like time literally was on a stand still. At bedtime it took 45 minutes the first night and then tapered off till night 5 when all he did was whimper some and then went to sleep. After he was good going to bed, I started with his self soothing in the middle of the night. It didn't take nearly as long for him to adjust to the night wakings as it did bedtime.
I never had issues with him going to bed or staying in bed again and he's now 7. He's always felt just fine about bedtime and the only time he's ever gotten up would be in the middle of the night if he had a bad dream (most of the time associated with a certain period of time having gone by since seeing his bio dad) or if his legs hurt (growing pains).
I say if you've tried other things and feel like this might be the best options then go ahead and try it. Know that usually it only takes a few nights for a baby/child to adjust to a new routine and adjusts just fine. =)
Before you do CIO you might want to read the latest on it, saying it can be harmful. I am on the fence on the whole thing. This article just came out
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/crying-dangerous-kids-one-expert-says-222400379.html
@Sassygrn: I read that the other day. Very well written & totally agreed! Since it focused on making sure you were just leaving your kids to "fend" for themselves but making sure they were okay first.
Like with DS if his cry was different than the normal wake up/getting restless cry then I'd check on him... but if it was about the time he normally started movin' around then I'd wait it out.
I think parents know their childrens temperments best and can usually tell the difference between hungry, scared, or just frustrated b/c they woke up cries. Kinda weird but I remember knowing the differences between DS's.
@sassygryn: Thank you. I always feel like its best to arm yourself with an much info (pros and cons) before making a decision. I understand what the article is saying. I just feel like next week there will be a new study saying something completely different. In my opinion, all you can do is what you feel is best for your own family. And honestly, I should say best for your own child. If I have another child, Method A, B, C, or D might would better. But if none of them are working, sometimes you have to resort to Method E. Even if you are torn up over it, like I am. Yes, I'm tired...but so is every other mom out there. I just feel like I can be a better mom by being a (teensy bit) more rested mom...and more importantly, my daughter will function better/be happier during the day by getting the restorative rest she needs at night.
But again, I am not judging other people's situations. I can only speak about my own. Just appreciative of the input from others who have walked in my shoes.
@Katyelle: My daughter does have an appetite on her...and she's a skinny minnie, to boot. haha. She is EBF on demand and eats about every hour or hour and a half. But only for 10-15 minutes at a time now. She also gets 6oz of solids per meal, 3 times a day. The pedi says at 8 months now, she should be able to go 8-12 hours without food at night. She created the problem of waking so much at night. But I exacerbated it by running it to rescue her with the boob. I have programmed her to think that's how you sleep...which is gonna be really awkward when she's like 5. haha. Kidding. I'm now stuck trying to undo what I started. The water trick is brillant and one I have not tried. I will give it a shot tomorrow night! Thank you.
Also, did you all do pitch black rooms or nightlights (for infants). Maybe that is my problem too? The room is too dark and she wakes, scared?
I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. :( I know it can be so exhausting (for you and her!) to be up that many times a night. Hopefully, you can find a solution soon, so you can both get some more rest.
My first thought is that, if you nurse her to sleep and she's having a tough time putting herself back to sleep in the middle of the night, that may be the problem. If she associates sleep only with sucking/nursing, any little thing that stirs her in the middle of the night will result in needing to nurse again to go back to sleep. The first step to self-soothing is to introduce her to multiple ways of falling asleep by breaking that nurse to sleep association (probably what your pedi was advising).
I read one method of breaking the nurse to sleep association in The No Cry Sleep Solution. Basically, instead of allowing her to nurse complately to sleep, you break the latch before she falls asleep all the way. At that point, many babies will kind of startle or wake back up and cry/fuss. Put her back on the breast and allow her to nurse, again until she is close to sleep, but not all the way. Break the latch again. This method may take a long time (a few days to a few weeks, even), but with consistency and patience, she should learn that she doesn't NEED to nurse to fall asleep.
At that point, you can start introducing other sleep associations. For example, you can introduce her to a little lovey or a little blanket, basically a security item she learns to associate with sleep. The great thing about a security object is that even if she wakes up in the middle of the night, it's still there, and she can use it to fall back asleep. You can also do things like rock her, pat her back, sing a special song, or repeat a special phrase (e.g. "Night night, honey") so that she learns multiple ways to fall asleep. Also, if at all possible, once you introduce a new sleep association to her, your husband should take over middle of the night soothings. That way, you don't have the temptation to fall back into old habits of nursing to sleep.
Fwiw, I could never do CIO, either. It just broke my heart to even think of her crying all alone in her crib. Instead, I got The No Cry Sleep Solution and used some methods in there to improve DD's sleep. We had a rough few months, but by 12 months old her sleep really improved and she started sleeping through the night again and even puts herself to sleep! I've also heard really good things about the book The Baby Whisperer, which also uses no-cry techniques, to get your baby to sleep better. I think there is a wide spectrum between straight CIO and sacrificng your sleep, and you just need to find the method that works best for you and your family. Good luck! I hope things start to improve real soon!
@goodbuddy: I agree about the study thing. If you read every study everything we do would be "harming" our children. I think it's best to figure out what works for your child and your situation.
I did see another CIO technique. You go into the room backwards and sit on the floor, with your back to your child, so that your child can see you and feel comforted by your presence, but realize that you are not going to respond to the crying. Once they are to sleep you can then leave the room quietly. I saw this technique work with children who were trying to be broken from co-sleeping habits. It worked as well.
This is our life. Our DS is 8 months old as well and wakes a number of times at night. It is terrible. DH is home for 3 weeks and is on the sleep through the night mission. DS is underweight so we are keeping 1-2 night time feedings as long as he goes to sleep afterwards. Typically between 6-8 hours after bedtime feed (midnight - 2 am) and depending on that 4:30 before I go to work. Desired Wake Time is 7:00 am.
So, DH sat with him rocking for 45 minutes one night until he stopped screaming and fighting sleep. Now he rushes in after a peep and holds him on his bed (reassuringly but not picking up, no patting just making sure he doesn't get up on all fours or stands up). It seems to be working.
The other thing, is that you could Co-Sleep. I did it a few weeks ago with DH was on travel and it was fantastic. DS doesn't move from the crook of my arm and nurses when he wants. I would Co-Sleep if DH wasn't so opposed to it.
Good luck with CIO and hopefully you will have success. It is the hardest thing in the world. I couldn't personally do it but DH does.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I truly apreciate all the input, advice and support!
I wanted to agree with a PP that if your baby girl is used to nursing herself to sleep, she hasn't yet learned how to put herself to sleep, which is the issue. Putting her to bed sleepy vs. asleep will teach her that it's ok for her to go to sleep on her own. She needs to learn how to self-soothe.
FWIW, I used the ferber CIO method 10 years ago with my DD (and she's lived to tell the tale!). Basically when I put her to bed after our nighttime routine, I would let her cry for only about 2.5 minutes, then go in, pat and rub her (NEVER picking her up), whispering soothing things to her, etc for only a minute or 30 seconds or something like that, and then left the room. I let her cry for 5 minutes, came back in for 30 seconds again, then left. Then she cried for 10 mintues, came back in, etc. Then she cried for a max of 15 minutes from here on out and then I'd go back in.
Each time I went back in, it reassured her that I was still there, but she needed to go to sleep. I never picked her up, but I just would pat and rub her and reassure her that it was ok but it was night night time. The first night i think she cried for the 15 minutes, I went in, cried a few minutes more and then settled down. It took about 4-5 days of consistently doing this and each day the crying routine got shorter and shorter. After those 4-5 days she went easily to sleep on her own and began sleeping through the night.
Hope that helps! Here's some info on the Ferber method. http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc
on a totally side note, have you tried having her sleep in a swing or on an incline? DS had/has allergies that keep him from sleeping through the night if he's not on an incline, since he gets congested. perhaps this is contributing? he slept with me/in a swing until he was old enough for a pillow; it was the only way we could get him to sleep for more than an hour or so without waking. just a thought...
No real advice here, but just want to say good luck! I hope I never have to make the CIO decision as a parent (b/c it's SO hard on mama and baby), but I have a feeling I would be going for CIO too if I were in your situation. I hope you find a solution that works!
Thanks, guys. I am currently on Night 1 of CIO (actually doing this to keep my mind off the crying baby in her room right now...it makes me so sad!) She had a good meal, then a bath, book, song, some nursing 'til drowsy (not to sleep, for once!)...then crib. She screamed as soon as I left the room and thrashed about her crib. She can stand now (she's 8 months today) so I'm watching her do that at the moment (over the monitor) while she screams bloody hell. I know I should probably go in to reassure her (a la Ferber) but I have a feeling it will only upset her more to see me walk back out...so I'm trying to go cold turkey here. She's now been screaming for 14 minutes (who's couting?) and I have a feeling it could be over an hour or more...she has amazing stamina. (Did I mention I'm crying as I type this!) I thought labor was hard, but it was a snap compared to this. Give me physical pain over emotional any day!
@irin: Thank you for telling me your child holds no grudges. I seriously worry about this all the time!
@inspired: Appreciate the thought, but we just packed up our swing because she's outgrown it now at 8 months.
@skibobrown: Thanks. I truly hope you aren't in my situation either. It's pretty rough. (I'm sure my neighbors are loving me right now too!)
how are you doing? she still crying? nice to have the monitor w/ video so you know she's safe; DS used to cry so hard (and quickly, too) that he'd start hurting himself (scratching, hitting, etc) and then eventually make himself throw up. drama queen from the start :/ i know you said you packed up the swing, but have you tried having her sleep with you? i know there's tons of controversy, and it's not for everyone, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. DS slept in the crook of my arm (i'm not a night thrasher) most of the time. we started with the pillow in the crib (again, controversial) at around 12 mos. maybe look into one of the elevated foam triangles? if she's falling asleep while/after bf'ing (being held?), and then waking after being put down, the angle/feeling of being held might be enough. the pillows i'm thinking of usually have little side bumpers that might feel like arms.
@inspired: Thank you for asking. 1 hour, 7 minutes....still screaming....and hasn't laid down. Been standing the whole time. I would try the co-sleeping, but out queen size bed is pretty small and high and neither my hubby nor I feel safe with her there. He moves a tonw hen he sleeps (and has whacked me accidentally many a time!) I see what you're saying about the angle though. Maybe I can look into that. So far, I really think that she's just learned (sadly, from me) that nursing is how you fall asleep. So when I put her down drowsy, instead of asleep tonight, she was all thrown off...and pissed. Did I mention that she's been standing for an hour straight. She's literally only stopped screaming (and I mean, SCREAMING) twice, for about a minute each time. Probably to catch her breath. I haven't gone in to comfort her because I know her personality...and she will only scream harder when I leave again. So I'm just waiting it out...and crying...because I feel awful about this...but truly feel like it's what's right for her.
I am trying to remind myself that this stamina will serve her well later in life...if she doesn't hate her momma forever by then. :(
UPDATE: OK, so I caved and went in to pat her and reassure her (1 hour, 15 minute mark). I did not pick her up. It didn;t calm her at all. She only screamed harder when I left. Should have trusted my gut...So the time ticks on and she continues to scream (and stand).
I know youalready started, but I wanted to tell you about what I have done with my kids. My doctor called it sleep training. In the evening, we put them to bed at 7pm. I would nurse them and put them to bed awake. I would let them cry for a little bit, them go in and put the paci back in their mouths, but I wouldn't talk or engage them at all. They went to sleep quicker than I thought they would. If they woke during the night I would do the same thing, replace paci etc. In the morning, baby should wake about 6am or so. Put baby down for a nap 2 hours after baby wakes in the morning. Baby should sleep for 2 hours. 2 hours after baby wakes up, they should take another nap. With the naps, I would nurse, and put baby to bed awake again. I would not go back in the room for naps. baby should be ready for bed again at 7pm. Younger babies may need another short nap after the second nap, but your baby may be ok with 2 naps.
I have used this method with 2 of my 3 kids, and I will use it again if Ihave another someday. It really does work. Some tips: I always start this schedule in the morning. That seems to be the easiest way to get the schedule started because you know what time baby should be ready for naps and stuff. Also, this schedule takes about a week to get comfy with. I swear it works, and I have 2 littles that have been sleeping on their own since about 6mos old. Hope this helps you!
Edited to correct sloppy typing!
@35than: Thanks. So your kids were 6 months old when you sleep trained them? I just went in and tried to give her the paci (did not pick her up, but I did hum to her). She spit it out immediately and started thrashing about. Now she is standing at the crib's railing again, screaming her head off.She doesn't nap well either. I only get a couple very quick naps out of her every day. Power naps really, and never in her crib. I have to be walking her, or nursing her or driving. I was gonna try to conquer the nap situation after I get the nighttime sleeping handled...which judging by tonight, may be a long process. I really apprecaite your tips though and I will definitely keep them in mind!! I hope to have the success you have had!
@goodbuddy: I did find it way easier to get them down for naps. I started at about 4 months with the nap schedule, and so it was easier when I did the night training. I wishI had the paper from my Dr. still! They said that you should always put them to sleep BEFORE they are tired, and it should always be somewhere stationary. That was a hard one for me because my babies loved the swing! I remember the article said that babies are not born knowing how to soothe themselves and put themselves to sleep. That really stuck with me, I never thought of it that way before. Hang in there. CIO can be really hard, but at some point, I think it has to be done. I would rather do it when they are babies that when they are toddlers!
Thanks, 35thannidaughter. I am trying to tell myself that sleep is a skill, like rolling over or crawling...so she has to learn it. But you're right, the heart always wins out over logic with me. Just trying to stay strong. I read that the key to CIO is consistency. If I cave, it's like it was all for nothing (though I did cave a teeensy bit by briefly going in at the 1 hr, 15 min mark. But I didn;t pick her up, even though she was pulling and pulling at my shirt.) I'm now at 1 hr, 35 minutes and she is still standing and still crying (though the crying is ever-so-slightly less). Just trying to stay strong over here. My hubby is away for work, so I'm kinda tackling it on my own. I really appreciate your words of support!!
As for the stationary part, I have been so desperate to get her to nap, that I will walk or drive her around just to get her some zzzz's. That, or I've nursed her to nap, then let her sleep on me. Both of those things are wrong, I'm learning. Man, am I a contender for Mother of the Year or what? :)
@goodbuddy: You know that she's okay, done a great job of a bedtime routine, and you know that crying in itself will NOT hurt her.
I remember CIO with DS and boy I know that time practically stands still! ugh
You're doing a great job!!!!! She WILL calm down and you'll know if her cry changes and she actually needs something as opposed to just being PO'd... don't cave.
You got this! ;)
@goodbuddy: You are doing great! I don't think you caved, you didn't pick her up. My DH can't handle it, so it's better for us if he isn't here. Every Mom does the best she can do. I didn't know how to do any of this stuff with my first. I have 3, and some days I still don't know what I am doing. The goal is to have a baby who will put itself to sleep, and be able to put itself BACK to sleep during the night. Find what works for you and your family. Put a few sleep methods together if you think some parts will work well for you. Just think, in a week, you could be sleeping all night!
((hugs)) you are a wonderful mother. some kids are great sleepers, some kids aren't. it's all trial and error at this point until you find something that works for you both. sometimes that involves doing something that's "wrong" b/c it's right for your family. DS still needs me to be there until he goes to sleep at night (just turned 3), but instead of seeing it as a burden, it's our quiet time together at night. he's in daycare all day, mornings are hectic, and he's with his dad half the time, so i'll take all the bonding time i can get. maybe if you set a timeline for trying a new method; say, "try CIO for a week". then if that doesn't seem to be helping, then you can try something else for a week. that way, you've got some endpoint to look forward to (or in the case that it works, success).
My heart feels for you. My experience trying to get my son to sleep goes back 25 years. His dad and I co-slept with my son til he was 8 months old. It was great but I was tired of laying down with him in order to get him to sleep. I know your dilema isn't getting your daughter to sleep but I wanted to share with you my experience.
I can't remember where I heard this method and don't even know if it has a name but when I heard it I wanted to try. When it was bedtime I laid my son in his crib and told him "Goodnight, go to sleep". Of course he cried so after 5 minutes of crying I went in and said "I'm right her, go to sleep" and would repeat this every 5 minutes. The first night I did this for 45 minutes, the 2nd night 15 min and the third 10 minutes. I never picked him up, I just reassured him I was still here.
I know you get just 3 hours of sleep a night but if this method sounds interesting it might be worth a few nights of giving it a try. I'm guessing your daughter is waking up in the dark and doesn't see you. You were there when she fell asleep but now you're gone. If you reassure her every 5 minutes that you're never leaving her then if she wakes in the night she'll be able fall back asleep.
Try playing some christmas music, or what you play in the car...it might sooth you both
@goodbuddy: Oh I just remember more success!... When DS was little I watched another little boy his same age. Well this little boy was not sleep trained at all so I did the same thing with him that I did with DS... I mean I was watching him M-F 7-6 and he was an infant like DS so I HAD to get them in order with each other.
I would feel so bad b/c this little boy was either constantly fed or constantly held and could NOT sleep on his own at all. He was so fussy all the time.. even if I was feeding or holding him.
SOOOOO...... I thought I'd try the CIO with him just like I did with DS. By Friday he was going down for naps JUST GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then Monday (after being held and fed constantly) I got to start alllllll over again. Sigh.
So I had success, but since at home was so different I ultimately had to stop watching him b/c it just wasn't fair to him to do that EVERY week.
He was a VERY difficult baby but CIO even worked for him! =)
I honestly can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of support. Weddingbee was great for planning our wedding a couple years ago, but THIS kind of encouragement is what I really need! Especially because I can tell so many of you have walked in my shoes. Please know I am reading all your advice and taking all of it in! I feel like I'm muddling my way through this whole mommy thing...and making so many mistakes...and here I'm 35 years old and read every freaking book in the world to prepare for this. Some things you just have to live through I suppose. OK, so an update. We are at 2 hours, 9 minutes. Her crying has slowed slightly...through mostly just so she can catch her breath. She is still standing. Can't sleep for anything, but strong legs on my kiddo!! Her head is buried in her arms (like if you're standing against a wall, counting for Hide and Go Seek). I was thinking of going in at 9pm for another pat, reassure (but not pick up). Also, might offer some water since she's been crying so long. Bad idea??????
amnystik: YES! You just descibed my baby!! There's fussy, Then there's FUSSY! (Though I feel like I need to put out the disclaimer that I LOVE MY BABY TO PIECES AND AM GRATEFUL FOR HER!) I think part of it is my daughter's persoanlity and part of it is the bad habits I've inadversantly instilled in her. Anyway, your experience with a similar type is so helpful and encouraging.
Also, to those who mentioned my hubby...Though it would be great to have some support at home, he is a big softie and would cave for daddy's little girl in two secs flat. 'Course, he's not the one getting up with her 8-10 times every night...so I'm not sure he really understands the level of desperation. That's why I am so, sooooo thankful for the support of the fellow moms and posters here. YOU GET IT!
@dolldancer: Funny you should say that. I just turned off the Toddler Tunes and put on the holiday channel to try to distract myself.
UPDATE: 2 hours, 18 minutes. Whimpering and on her knees.
FOLLOW UP UPDATE: Typing my responses and still teary...but more encouraged thanks to you all.
@goodbuddy: I thought that might help! He managed just fine with CIO and had momma been on board with the same type of scheduling he'd probably been just as happy & "easy" as DS was (mind you I started scheduling and sleep training pretty early on)
As for UPDATE: 2 hours, 18 minutes. Whimpering and on her knees.
I would DEFINITELY NOT go in. She's calming down and if you go back in you may just rile her up again. Just wait it out.... ulness her cry changes like something is wrong I would let her just wear herself out... she is NOT the energizer bunny ;)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Brielle | 27 |
 vorpalette |
27 |
| caseyleigh10 | 24 |
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| les105 | 23 |
| lionskitty | 22 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| SouthernGirl | 21 |
| mypinkshoes | 21 |
| kat2014 | 19 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| JewishBride | 1 |
| UpstateCait | 1 |
| mandb122 | 1 |
| Lindsay05 | 1 |
| SouthernGirl | 1 |
| PurpleUnicorn | 1 |
| KatyElle | 1 |
| BoiledPNut | 1 |
| Bao | 1 |
| Beebug | 1 |
