(Closed) Crying after the conversation I just had with my BF…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you are over analyzing and you are both tired. I think you should not bring it up. I think you should leave it alone. He will propose to you. He wants you to move in and you have made it clear to him already what needs to happen before you move in. Let him have some space to put a proposal plan in order. If you keep bringing it up, he will just feel pressured and get stressed out.

Post # 4
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh honey 🙁 don’t be so upset… I’m sure you just read into it a little too much, I always overanalyze things my fiance say.. and I still do it. We’ve been engaged four months, and I still have fights with him and we talk about breaking up (mostly just because I think he deserves someone better,but he always tells me off haha), but I know we never will. 

You are probably both really tired, and I know firsthand that EVERYTHING is more upsetting when I’m tired, and sometimes getting some sleep and talking in the morning can be better. My sweetie and I sometimes just fight more if we’re tired, or misread each other.

It sounds like he really does want to propose and marry you, but he wants it to be done right, he may have seemed hesitant because getting engaged is a huge step for people, especially guys. It takes a relationship to a whole new level of commitment, and though we all talk about it casually while dating, once it actually happens it’s like “Oh my gosh, I’m actually getting married?!” It’s a weird, but amazing feeling and it takes some getting used to.

He may be thinking real serious about it..and when guys think, they aren’t very talkative.

honey I’m sure it will all work out.


Post # 5
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think that he loves you and is just a guy. Guys say dumb things are too blunt.

Yes…fact is that he doesn’t have a choice…if he wants to be with you..he “has” to propse. I mean..if he wants to live with you…then he has to be engaged. And He is just a dumb boy and SAID that. If he was smarter he would have JUST said that it was cause he loved you.. .but he’s a guy and was not being well spoken

Don’t over analyze is and don’t fight with him because he isn’t saying things “jjust right”. Just focus on what he feels and not his exact wording

Post # 6
322 posts
Helper bee

I agree with spraguebride…

He really doesn’t have a “choice” as such. Yes, he’d like to live with you but he feels that maybe you’ve drawn a line saying “No further without a ring” and that’s basically that. He’s being pragmatic, not romantic.

Look, he loves you and cares enough for you to ask you to share his daily life with you and your daughter. I think if you let go of the fact that maybe the proposal wouldn’t be this superbly grand champagne and roses and fireworks affair, then things are gonna be okay. (And who knows? Maybe it might be…)

He’s doing things the way you wanted them to be done, and he figures that would make you happy, so he’s going to propose if it means you will be a part of world permanently. Let it lie, and don’t bring up the subject AT ALL unless he actually comes out and asks your opinion directly. Its obviously a sensitive subject for both of you and you guys should just sleep on it for a while.

Post # 7
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yep, spraguebride is right.  Don’t worry.  Waiting to get engaged is a very emotional time.  The uncertainty can be killer. 

Post # 8
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

hi cute u havnt said how long u guys have been togther or maybe i just havnt read ur previous post.i kn u love him and am sure he loves u.where this may all be fine .if moving is an issue for u bcus of dd and he might not be actually ready yet.just maybe  do one week in a month at his house.maybe he might need to test the situation to figure out if this s really what he wants which i am sure he;ll end up love having a family around maybe then he might actually get his act togther.the last thing u want is to have him propose then not be able to set a date.cus u kn the nxt question u’ll have is whats the date and if he did it to appease u rather than being really ready it will only lead to heartache and god forbid u might want to move out.i think that would be even more tramatic to dd that spending a week or so a month.

Post # 9
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

You could be over analyzing it, or you could be right. Either way, I would just let it go and see what happens tommorrow. Since it isn’t an obligation right now to be engaged, I would just let it go until HE brings it up again. If he brings up moving in with him again, you won’t need to repeat you being engaged again because he already knows that’s how you feel.

I wouldn’t get too upset over it though. But you sound just like me…I’m a thinker. You’ll have to let us know what happens again.

Post # 10
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You should just let things happen and stop over-analyzing it. It could be there is a lot of mixed messages (men and women don’t communicate the same). I’m sure he wants to propose and he may feel like he can’t win either way because you just may be assuming he is only doing it out of obligation. Sometimes us women think to much lol – it will happen and it will be because he wants too.

Post # 12
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Its ok. 🙂 Take some deep breaths and relax! No, I wouldn’t say anything to him about it. I wouldn’t press the subject anymore becuase it could cause an unecesary fight and make you feel worse. I don’t believe he would propose to you and want you to come live with him and be a “family” unless he really felt that and was in love with you. I think you are looking to deep into it and his tone of voice. You are both tired and its hard to be enthusiastic about something when you are worn out. get a good nights sleep, and start fresh tomorrow! You know he loves you, and he wouldn’t want to take these big steps with you if he didn’t love you or really want to.

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