Post # 1
This blows. Why is it that the moment we started planning a wedding all this family drama (relatives, not immediate) came out of the woodwork? Suddenly I’m discovery that aunts and uncles aren’t getting along, cousins vs cousins, etc. And now, just a month out from the wedding, more and more people are starting to bail on me.
I tried calling my uncles this past weekend and they avoided my calls. And then one of my uncles just texted me while I was at work and said he needed to call have a talk with me, and he hoped that I would understand where he was coming from.”
Arrrgh! I don’t need this!
I guess I was naive enough to think that it could like it was when I was a kid – big gatherings where everyone got along – on my wedding day.
I am so envious of people who are close to their cousins. I don’t know why – I have an amazing conncetion with my girlfriends…but there’s soemthing about being blood related that I follishly believe is suppose to make you close.
Post # 3
I’m sorry that you are going through this:( I know exactly what you mean. My mom is 1 of 10 kids and each one of those kids had at least 2 of their own if not more, so we have a pretty big extended family! And I’m not close with many of my cousins either. I don’t understand why families can’t just suck it up for one day and get along!!! I hope it all works out for you and unfortunately you can’t concern yourself with how others are going to act, believe me on your wedding day that will be the last thing you will have to deal with if at all!! Only half of my family showed up and the other half couldn’t be bothered to drive 45 minutes, but I still got married and didn’t even notice that they weren’t there!! Things will work out!!
Post # 4
I’m so sorry! Really don’t let it ruin YOUR day! Some people are born into WONDERFUL families who will do anything for them…and some of us have to pick our own “families.” Maybe your girlfriends are more like family and should be the ones you focus on sharing your special day with!
Best of luck!
Post # 5
In the end, the day is about you and your FI… whoever does or doesn’t show up won’t matter as long as you two get married and enjoy the day.
If people can’t put aside their own issues to be happy for you on your wedding day, then you don’t need them. I totally understand wanting to have a meaningful bond with your family, because you can’t choose them.. they are family and that SHOULD mean something. But, really, it’s the people that you can trust and count on who support and love you that matter most. I’d take my best friend and her parents (who support and love me no matter what) over my drama filled and self absorbed cousins/aunt/uncle ANY day.
Post # 6
I’m sorry, and I can kind of relate. FI doesn’t talk to his Dad, Future brothe rin law doesn’t talk to parents, etc..
But, I decide that it was their problems, not mine. That I would have the wedding the way I wanted and if people don’t want to come…well, like I said, it’s their problem.
You can’t control others and their crappy behaviors. If they can’t get along long enough for your special day, well..they aren’t thinking of anyone but themselves, so who wants that?
Post # 7
Guys, thanks for your messages.
I spoke to my uncle today, and he said taht he and his family will not be coming. He sounded like he was crying on the phone and that he was really sorry. He ended the conversation by telling me that he loved me and wished me the best.
Sad thing is – he didn’t give me a reason. He asked me to e-mail him so he could explain further, but to be honest, I’m not interested. At least not right now.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry to hear about your uncle and all the family drama.
Honestly, towards the end of the planning stages, my motto became “Whoever is excited about coming to the wedding is welcome with open arms”. I don’t care if that person is some random plus one I’ve never met or distant friends we don’t keep in touch with, if they were excited they were welcome. Unfortunatley those people usually don’t include family members for whatever reason..