Post # 1
So… I’ve cried at every wedding I’ve ever been to. Including weddings where I was a +1 who did not know the couple beyond a brief introduction at the rehearsal dinner. I cried when my boyfriend proposed, I cried when my family told me how happy they were, and I cried at the sweet text message his sister sent me when she found out. I cry at sappy long distance commercials and I cried at my college graduation and I’m welling up just reading other people’s vows. We haven’t even discussed what ours will be because I start weeping just thinking about it. Also: my uncle is marrying us, who also married my parents, my cousin, and my grandmother and step-grandpa; I’ve planned on having him as my officiant since I was little. Almost everyone we love and nobody we don’t will be there (9 guests).
I’m so, so excited and happy to be marrying my favorite person ever, but how on earth do I get through this without completely losing composure?
Sidenote: I am not talking about a dainty overspill of a few touching tears. I am the epitome of an ugly crier and I have a lot of trouble holding my already soft and high voice steady when I’m emotional, whether happy or upset. I am seriously stressing about this. I want to say my vows clearly and I want pictures where I’m smiling, not weepy. Any advice?
Post # 3
@Bubblesmcgee: I’m in the same boat as you, I cry at the drop of a hat and I can’t talk when I’m emotional… I’m mostly commenting to commiserate 🙂 and see if anyone has some helpful suggestions I can borrow haha
Post # 4
@Bubblesmcgee: I’m the exact same way…I cry at everything!!! Once I start crying, too, there is like no stopping me, I’m a blubbering mess. We decided to write our own vows and I kept worrying and wondering how on earth I would get through it. I cried while writing them.
I have no idea how or why, but I didn’t cry during the ceremony. I was just so happy. I did put in a few funny lines, so I know that helped a little. One of our best friends married us and I thought for sure it would make me even more emotional. I can’t explain it, I just couldn’t stop smiling!
I would try not to stress about it too much. You never know how the day is going to hit you. I really thought there would be tons of pictures of me crying and worried they would be so ugly, and I only shed a few happy tears.
Just enjoy every minute- don’t stress. If you cry, you cry! It’s no big deal!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I heard that pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth can help stop the tears. Not sure if it works, but it’s a thought.
FWIW, so many brides on here thought they were going to cry and they didn’t shed a tear. I was confident I wouldn’t cry and I ended up sobbing/ugly crying/squeaking my way through the entire ceremony. You might surprise yourself!! Either way, don’t worry about it — If you cry, you cry. I survived it and now we just laugh about it. 😀
Post # 6
@Bubblesmcgee: I’m a cryer too and I SOBBED thought not just the vows, but my entire ceremony start to finish. It started when I was walking down the aisle.
I have one big recomendation for you – don’t hold back your tears. Crying turns to ugly crying when you try to hold it in. Some of my favorite pictures are the ones where you can see tears streaming down my face and a great big smile. Another one looks like my husband is wiping a tear from my cheek..but only he and I know that he was getting rid of a fake eyelash that came loose and landed on my cheek. Hilarious.
Post # 7
@cbgg: That is so cute he was getting rid of a fake eyelash and you got an awesome picture out of it!!!!
Post # 8
@Bubblesmcgee: We wrote our own vows…they were very emotional and meaningful. I cried a lot when we wrote them. Leading up, I tried to talk myself out of crying. The day of, I was so nervous though, I think that kept the tears away. I also recited my vows about 100 times. Not that it made it any less meaningful, but I was very careful of my words which helped.
Plus, I was also focused on not locking my knees so I didn’t pass out.
If you gotta cry though, cry! I agree that holding it in will only make it worse! Let it out!
ETA: Make sure you get waterproof mascara!!!
Post # 9
@Bubblesmcgee: I knew I was going to cry and I did. My husband didn’t think he was going to and he did. I treasure the photos from our ceremony the most. They reflect our true emotions and we have tons of smiling pictures from the majority of the day. We did make sure to build in some humor throughout the ceremony to help us recover from crying and we picked upbeat songs to play. So my advice is to allow yourself to experience all the emotions of the day!
Post # 10
@cbgg: That is so sweet… and you’re right, now that I think about it, it is the holding back that makes tears ugly. I guess I’ll just go easy on the eyeliner beforehand and let it flow. 😉
Post # 11
@Bubblesmcgee: I cry all the freaking time. I actually hope I do loose my shit when I’m saying my vows. Both FI and I were really surprised (and honestly kind of disappointed) I didn’t cry during the proposal. I actually didn’t cry at all until late that night when he was telling me about calling my dad beforehand.
Post # 12
@remijp: Your pictures are gorgeous! That sets me a little at ease. This is a pretty low-key wedding, this is the one thing I’ve been really stressed about.
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
@Bubblesmcgee: I am an ugly crier from way back, and I cry at teh drop of a hat. At our wedding I was so paranoid that I was going to cry and look stupid in front of everybody that as soon as I started tearing up I stopped looking at my husband and looked out the window over his shoulder. I was literally watching a garbage truck while we said our vows. Now I didn’t cry, and I was paying attention, but the whole ceremony is a little foggy to me. I feel kind of removed from it. If I could do one thing differently, I would have just let the tears come and looked my boo in the eyes and been fully present at my wedding. If you can’t tear up and look like an asshole at the happiest part of your life to date, when can you?
Just wanted to give a different perspective. If you really don’t want to cry though, I recommend the garbage truck. there is nothing romantic about dumpsters being emptied. 🙂
Post # 14
@Bubblesmcgee: I‘m so, so excited and happy to be marrying my favorite person ever,
AAAAAWWWW CUTE! I have nothing to add beyond that. I rarely cry, but I starting sobbing like Niagara Falls level tears when I realized my FI was proposing. He had to stop and make sure I wasn’t upset because I am sooo not a crier, so he was very concerned, lol! Now, everything I think about our wedding, I legitimately start tearing up, regardless of where I am.
I’m just going to go with it, though my FI says I need to get it together because my parents and siblings will be very concerned if I start weeping. Whatever! It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to! Embrace your emotions!
Post # 15
@Bubblesmcgee: I feel you! I’m an emotional wreck at the best of times!
Post # 16
I was TERRIFIED I would cry during our vows–I cried at the rehearsal!
But when it came to the day of the wedding, I was totally calm! So I wouldn’t worry too much!