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I personally would like to see my groom shed a tear on our wedding day. It would show me how much this means to him and that he's not afraid of his emotions.
Haha i disagree but I think that's kind of hilarious that you feel that way. I would agree with you that I'm not big on crying men, but I feel like wedding day, births of children, and (god forbid) deaths of loved ones are the three times in life when I don't mind seeing a man cry. Now blubbering would be bad. But that eyes-welling-trying-to-not-show-it thing on a groom is kind of endearing in my opinion.
ETA: for what its worth, my groom did not cry on our wedding day. I teased him about it saying "how come you didn't cry like other guys do?" and he just said "i don't cry." lol (which I have to admit in 5 years has so far been true)
It doesn't matter how I feel, he's not crying and I know that. Not that he doesn't care, it's just he's got such a strong man personality that if he even felt emotional he'd swallow it. It'd be nice to see a tear, or hell even teary eyes but I love him anyway.
It was funny because right before walking, I got an attack of emotion and cried. I don't think no one except my brother who was walking me saw me. My now husband said he cried the moment he saw me. I think this shows how much this means to him, and I can't wait to see the video.
I think its super sweet! His best man was bawling at our wedding which was funny/sweet to me! And my man did shed a couple tears as I walked down the isle....I looooved it! I cried hysterically when he proposed so I was really worried about the wedding day. I managed to hold it together (must have been all the makeup worry). But personally, I think it is soooo sweet when the groom sheds a tear.
@Bichon Frise: I really hope he does, too! Like I said everyone is different, and there's no right or wrong way. My dream is that he'll react like James Marsden did on 27 Dresses. Could you imagine walking down the aisle to THAT electric smile?! Gets me giddy every time! :) I would probably start crying and mess up my make up haha. Oh ugly cry!
The pictures of when a groom sees his bride for the first time and cries are too cute! When I was dress shopping my FMIL said the goal was to make him cry when he sees me! He won't, but it was funny for her to say.
I don't get it. It gives you joy because you think their wussies? (Please correct my reading if it's wrong, but that's what your sentence says).
I don't think I have any feelings on whether a groom cries or not. The sentiment of "manning up" because a guy is "tearing up" is damaging IMO. Perpetuating a cycle of stupid stereotypes. I would never tell a guy to "man up" because they were getting misty eyed (or even if they ugly cried). It's a sexist lens to wear.
@CorgiTales: haha I just can't help but think they're hilarious. I mean, I know they're sweet and loving and all that good stuff, but I also know that I couldn't deal with that on my wedding day. I'd start laughing, crying, or both. I like the electric smile idea. Haha and so true! In 4 years, I have yet to see Mr. LR cry.
I think its sweet. Men are told to be strong and man up, but when they let their guard down and show emotion, it shows their human side. :)
My friends husband is always so tough and never shows any emotion. But on their wedding day he actually shed a tear when he saw her. It was sweet and proved he wasn't a robot. lol
Getting choked up on an emotional day is ok in my eyes!
I didn't think my DH would cry when I walked down the aisle because we had done a first look and drove around the city for about 3 hours taking pictures, kissed goodbye and 10 minutes later the ceremony started. But when i started walking down that aisle, he teared up like I've never seen before. I was so taken aback I started to cry too, but got myself together before I finished my walk. Thankfully of course we were both dry eyed during the vows and got through it just fine.
You can plan all you want for how you'll act and feel on your wedding day, but sometimes emotions just take over. It's an extremely emotional experience to get married. Something you definitely can't invision completely until it actually happens. It's actually nice now to look back and remember how emotional we were during that moment, instead of just going through the motions.
@mrsbruff2b: No, it gives me joy for a multitude of reason, but I truly find them entertaining. I have an odd sense of humor, I'll admit it. Of course, I find them sweet and precious, but I'm also the type of person who finds it entertaining to see grown men cry on their wedding day. It's just not something one sees on any given day. As for the whole man up or shut up thing, it was a joke (odd sense of humor), but it did diffuse the tension for my friend's husband! He was still teared up, but he was so happy and smiling. The pictures are to die for!
@LaviniaRose2013: By entertaining, you mean you find it cute? What about a grown woman crying? If a bride cries? Would you tell her to woman up?
I don't think I really get your feelings. And I don't think you intend for your post to sound like you mean for it to be endearing even though it still comes off as kind of sexist and condescending.
I'm pretty sure we will both ctear uo...we're cheeseballs lol. Wouldn't bother me if the FI did, as long as it doesn't get out of hand!
@mrsbruff2b: Well, like I said, everyone is different, so it's totally ok if you don't get my feelings. You don't have to. I find it entertaining, and I don't think I need to elaborate. The point of my post was to find out other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, etc. on the topic, as we are all different. Unfortunately, that's what happens with the internet, it's hard sometimes to decipher people's meanings, but I can assure you that I am not sexist or being condescending (please see the disclaimer above).
@Cala: haha I think the tearing up ones are sweet but the ones of the grooms boo-hooing just get me every time.
@moderndaisy: That's so sweet! I am sure you looked beautiful, even though you were crying! I'd be too afraid to mess up my makeup... I am an extremely hideous ugly crier
I think it's really cute and funny. Maybe not sexy in a James Bond kind of way, but it's adorable.
I saw an America's Funniest Home videos where the groom was blubbering so much he could barely get through his vows. He was clearly embarrassed, but it was too cute. The bride was laughing. lol.
Had to check my calendar to make sure that it was still 2011...
If a person, man or woman, is moved to tears by a joyous occasion, it's really not anyone's place to criticize them or think poorly of them for experiencing and expressing emotions. If it's ok for a woman, it's ok for a man. Your sexism is not funny or appreciated, even with your "disclaimer".
@abirdword: haha I've seen that video! It's really funny, and it's great they could all laugh about it!
@zomgwut: Yet you're criticizing me for having an opinion which differs from yours? Your hypocrisy is not funny or appreciated, to quote you. Never once did I say that it was unacceptable for a man to cry. Again, point of post was to hear everyone's opinions on crying grooms. I don't think Mr. LR would cry, and I think I would probably giggle if he does, but then again, when the time comes, I might find that he tears up or cries and would boo hoo myself. Who knows, that's the exciting part!
Wow! Your opinion is hard for me to stomach, but I respect it. I guess it's the social worker in me.
I have to say I am incredibly moved by tears of joy. My sister recently got married and her husband shed a tear or two. She had never seen him cry (not in 6 years of dating and 4 of living together) so I think it was a really special moment. It felt very sincere.
My SO is a very "manly man" but I've seen him cry a little for both happy and sad moments. For me, I don't know that I could be in a relationship with a man who couldn't cry even during moments that made sense for it to happen. I grew up with a father who NEVER cried and the first time I saw a male cry, I was FLOORED! But soon I realized that healthy expression of emotion is really important to me in a relationship :)
@LaviniaRose2013: Oh my goodness, some people get insulted by the most simple things. I think it is adorable if a man cries during special moments in life like CorgiTales stated. It actually makes it extra special to me.
I've never seen my fiance cry, and we've been through some tough stuff (illness, etc). I want him to at least tear up as I'm walking down the aisle. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to jerk a tear out of him. He'll probably be too busy looking at my boobs though. As usual.
@MsMonkey: haha well I edited my first post because I found it to be a little harsh when I meant it to be funny. Obviously I'm not a comedian! I need to stick to my second job haha
@LaviniaRose2013: Ahh, I know, the internet is a dangerous place! It's so hard to read humor correctly without inflection or facial expressions... I make that mistake when writing emails/texts all the time. But anyway...nothing wrong with having an opinion. Like I said, my dad never cries and I guarantee he didn't cry at his wedding, but he and my mother love each VERY much and have for more than 30 years. I'm pretty sure she'd be uncomfortable if he suddenly burst into tears one day, because it's so not him. I cry at everything (commercials, pictures of puppies, etc) , so a non-crier just doesn't do it for me :P
When we said our vows, I was fighting back tears because I was embarrassed to cry. (not sure why!) DH got choked up too, but we made it through. A couple months later it came up and he said "It's a good thing you didn't cry, because it would've been game over for me" as in he was on the verge too. I think it's nice for grooms to show their emotional side when they're making the biggest committment of their lives! I was touched =]
I would bet that my FI won't tear up, but he is POSITIVE that he'll cry, and he's terrified about it! If I recall correctly, he did cry a bit when we broke up a few years ago, so I suppose he's capable of it, but he's just not an emotional guy, so I have a hard time picturing him getting emotional. I think it would be super sweet if he cried a bit :-)
No matter what I know my partner will shed a tear, along with a flood of them from me, a river of them from my dad and probably more from my mum!!!
my gorgeous man is really emotional, he cried when he proposed, he cried the 1st time he told me he loved me. Thank god he never cried the 1st time we had sex haha! He's really sensitive and in tune with his emotions and i love him for it. I think we'll both shed a wee tear as we're both crazy about each other!
I'd be shocked if my FI cried. And if he did it'd just make ME cry more! My 'dream' is just to see a look of happiness and excitement on his face when I start walking down the aisle. :)
My DH became pretty emotional but didn't shed an actual tear until our second reading. I thought it was really sweet :) I amazingly managed to hold it together during the walk down the aisle but did have some tears (no boo hooing, that was saved for rehearsal) during the second reading and the vows. Here's a pic of him as I came down the aisle
My DH didn't cry, which is what I expected. I actually prefer it that way. I know many people think grooms crying is very touching, which I completely understand, but I have to agree with the OP too. I have to really try not to laugh. I think this comes from the fact that I'm not one to show a lot of emotion in public either, so it's not the norm for me.
My Fi is going to BAWL and I can't stand that. I love him, and most of the time he "mans up" but he is a crier and I have a feeling that our wedding is going to be one of those moments when he can't take all the emotions. :/
(I on the other hand, rarely cry...like...ever.)
I actually want my FI to cry. He never shows much emotion and I want to look so beautiful he will just break down. I will probably cry because I am such an emotional person.
I think it's nice when guys get misty eyed at weddings! I would sort of feel uncomfortable if both the bride and groom were uncontrollably weeping or something, but happy tears are fine with me.
I didn't cry at our wedding, but DH did! He looked away from me and coughed roughly like "Look away nothing to see here" haha.
I know that I will cry, and FI will at least tear up. We both get choked up even talking about our ceremony.
Mine won't.
He's like Spock. Doesn't really show emotions.
Not to say I won't make a damn conscious effort to get him to weep though. I'll pull out the big guns and try.
I on the other hand laugh when I'm nervous. Like a lot. So I'm envisioning myself standing there, making eye contact with MOH, and hardcore cracking up.
I haven't seen SO cry that often, but he does tear up and I am willing to bet that he will be all blurry-eyed when he sees me. He already told me that he'll probably need to catch his breath (awwww!). I know it won't be anything like this though:
Sorry, I just love it so much that I use it whenever I can.
No I absolutely did not cry and I knew I wouldn't.
He absolutely did not cry and I was pretty sure he wouldn't.
I've never really understood the reason for the crying....I guess I assume someone's engagement was too long if they cry, lol. Because it's like, 'Finally!'
I can be emotional but I knew I would be super happy, not emotional. I dunno
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In an effort to revoke all negative comments, I am editing my original post.
What are your thoughts on emotional or crying grooms? Did your groom cry on your wedding day? What do you think your groom will do? What did you do? What do you think you'll do?
Keep in mind please, everyone is different and there is NO right or wrong answer. Please keep all replies positive and uplifting. No attacking others for having differing opinions, no matter how much you may disagree!
My personal opinion is that boo-hooing grooms are funny. Nothing mean or negative, just my thoughts. I believe Mr. LR will keep his emotions in check during that time (aka "man'ing up") because that is who he is. I believe that I will *try* to do the same because I don't want to mess up my makeup (I'm an ugly crier). It would be my dream for Mr. LR to look like James Marsden from 27 Dresses when Katherine Heigl walks down the aisle *swoon!*, but I know some women's dream is for their man to get choked up and shed a tear! Tell us all about your dream and what you think will happen!