Post # 1
Well, here’s the situation… I’ve always dreamed of my fairy tale wedding, I watch every single wedding show in the world I swear.. I love that stuff…. I always pictured getting married in a big church with my family and close friends etc… but now plans have changed. Me and my fiance were planning on an intamate but beautiful wedding next year… but now I’m pregnant. Which is fine! Don’t get me wrong I’m excited… however, my fiance’s family is practically insisting we get married immediately. Also my fiance insists it will look good in family court if we are married since we are fighting for custody of his first son. My fiance says that we will still have a nice wedding next year and that I don’t even need to tell anyone that we’re married… it’s just for court and to appease his family.. I’m heart broken.. My fiance’s family are simple people who think that weddings are frivolous and materialistic… I feel almost guilty for wanting a beautiful wedding because of that… so we are planning on legal ceramony within the month… I know I’ll cry.. but not happy tears… what do I do??? Any opinions??
Post # 3
You do what you and your Fiance agree on. Do not let your in laws pressure you if you are not ready to be married at this moment.
Have you talked to a lawyer about how your marriage will affect the custody battle? It may not matter which makes it a moot point. Get all the information before making a decision.
Post # 4
“Get all the information before making a decision.”
I second that.
Post # 5
Couldn’t you still marry in the church (unless booked to capacity) but maybe you can find one with availbility this month/next month, then do a small reception at your home?
That way you will still have the feeling of a wedding this time & can have a bigger celebration later.
Post # 6
First of all, Hugs!! I know you’re emotional right now because you feel like your dreams are being ruined. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Nothing is being ruined. What’s really important in the end of all this? Are you getting married for the wedding or for your husband? In february my sister had a court wedding because she was tired of waiting to be married to her best friend but they are still having a nice wedding and reception in a couple of years. Focus on what is important, don’t let the little details get you upset. Getting married right now is not going to mess anything up.
Also, don’t let the in-laws make you feel guilty for anything. Mine are the same way but this is MY wedding and i’m not going to live the rest of my life wishing I had done it my way.
Post # 7
@Birdee106: Thank you, that helped alot.. I am very emotional right now (the pregnancy doesn’t help that at all) And yes I love my fiance very much and so I do feel guilty for wanting a nice wedding because I know what really matters is spending the rest of my life with him. I guess what really upsets me is the idea of telling people I’m not married when I am. Which is what my fiance is suggesting so that it appears to everyone else like the big ceramony is the only one. Should I just be straight up and tell everyone about the legal ceramony? The original plan was to not even tell my family, just his family so that they are happy and the court. What did your sister do?
Post # 8
I am so sorry your in-laws are putting so much pressure on you. This is clearly a very emotional time for everyone. I would definitely talk to the lawyer to make sure that being married would really help your fiance’s custody case. But that should not be your deciding factor- you need to make sure that you are ready to get married. If you decide to get married immediately, then you can always have a big celebration later, or a vow renewal. Then you could have the ceremony of your dreams!
Best of luck, hon. This must all seem overwhelming, but I am sure it will work out! And congratulations on becoming a mom!
Post # 9
@vicgroesz5: I, personally, would hate to lie about it. My sister told everyone, she isn’t a very emotional person though, she didn’t care. I get where you want to wait so that the actual wedding is still exciting but no matter what people are going to be thrilled for you on your big day. I would just be honest with everyone. It’s not like you can keep the pregnancy a secret so I would just say “We decided to get legally married for the baby but plan on having our ceremony and reception next year to celebrate”. Something like that so people still know whats going on.