Post # 1
I was born in the States but come from a very traditional (not typically “American” if I can use that phrase) family. I have an incredibly large family (mother has 13 siblings, father has 9 – all of them have children of their own, and their children have children, etc) and though we are INCREDIBLY close with our extended family, everyone has a title. There are words in our language to signify grandparents, parents, older siblings, older cousins, uncles, aunts, etc. Calling my friend’s parents by just their first names felt incredibly unnatural and rude. I never in my life could get myself to call anyone by just their first name — it always had to be a Mrs., Miss, Ms, Dr., or Mr. Something. I now have the dilemma of what to call my in-laws. For those of you with a similar background of always using a specific title with different family members, what do you call your in-laws? They’re not the same ethnic background as me so they’re a little weirded out by me giving them a title in another language (ex. Don, Dona) I can’t think of anything other than Mr. & Mrs. A.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: I realised I should have originally posted under “intercultural” or other ethnic subgroups rather than just “family.” Do you know how to “re-categorise” a post? I didn’t see how so I reposted in what I think would have been more appropriate.
Post # 5
@Cartesienne: most people will see both.
Post # 6
I was also raised to use people’s titles as well, but my FMIL prefers I use her first name and my FI’s grandmother asked me to do the same….I couldn’t quite handle that, but since everyone around me was calling her Grandma, I just did the same. (My grandparents all passed before I knew them so this has been very special for me, to able to consider her my grandma too). I think you should just ask them what they prefer, and then go with it. If they want you to call them by their first names, you’ll get used to it eventually. My FI calls my mother “Mom,” but uses my father’s first name. I think it just depends on what works for you AND them…
Post # 7
I call FI’s parents by their first names (and his grandparents Grandmom and Grandpop) but his brother’s wife calls them Mr. and Mrs. because that’s what she’s comfortable with. Granted it makes my in-laws a little uncomfortable and they always correct her but we all understand that she’s accustomed to and will sometimes joke with her about it.