(Closed) Cultural differences – What do you call your in-laws?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband calls my parents by their first names…  I don’t know what I would call his mom if she were alive, but I don’t think I could call her by her first name. It just wouldn’t feel right. When I was married before, I called my inlaws mom and dad.

Post # 4
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I call Mr. D’s mom, Mom and his dad by his first name. I also call both of his grandmothers “Grandma”. He calls my parents by their first names, and my grandmother “Grandma”. I think most of the time its what you and your in-laws are comfortable with.

Post # 5
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Ask them, really. Ask them what they want to be called. It could be Mrs, or first name or mom and dad.

Post # 7
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

my situation is opposite, but similiar.  When i was growing and even now, everything is very informal.  Everyone just calls everyone by first names.  My aunt by marriage, calls her MIL by her first name.  And so do all the other married aunts/cousins etc.  Everyone is on a first name basis.  And i don’t think it’s rude or disrespectful at all.  If i want to be called by my first name, and someone insists on calling me something else, i find that disrespectful and rude. 

But with my FI’s family, i don’t know what to call them.  They have a SIL who calles them Mr and Mrs P.  But i dont know if thats what they want to be called, or if that’s how he addrsses them.  I’ve asked FI how they would want to be addressed, but he doesn’t know/hasn’t found out for me.  So like you, i avoid calling them anything at all. 

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Think of it this way, its disrespectful to call them something else different than what they requested. They ASKED for it. 

If someone said, I want a pink bow, but you gave them a blue cow… wouldnt that be disrespectful? 

They are your “elders” so you should respect what they request. Explain to your mom and dad that this is the tradition in their family. If the cultures are that different both families need to make concessions.

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@lefeymw: exactly!

Post # 10
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I will call them by their first names. My parents both called each others parents “mom & dad”. But I dont feel comfortable calling anyone besides my mother and father that.

Post # 11
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Im middle-eastern and what I call my MIL is actually translated to “the wife of my uncle” in English. So FIL (if I had one) would be called Uncle. Its actually pretty weird now that I type it out lol.

Post # 12
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I call mine mom and dad but because they asked me too!

Post # 13
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure in your culture/language there is a proper title for one’s parents-in-law. Why not just try using that? Maybe try it at first only once in a while, to let them get used to it. Will your parents be interacting much? If not, then only use the special titles when you’re parents are around, and use the names they prefer when your parents are not around. Even if it feels weird now, eventually you will get used to it.

Post # 14
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I call mine mom and dad but because they asked me too!

Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I call my FIL’s by their first names. My fiance calls my parents Mr. and Mrs. C____

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