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we're having a cupcake tower also, but no small cake for cutting (we're skipping the whole cutting/feeding eachother thing all together). we're either going to have the caterers bring out and present the cupcake tower after the meal is over, or have something like the sign you mentioned if they are out the entire time.
in your case, i'd probably go with the sign.
lindsey,
I think that is such a cute idea! Two birds with one stone, [cup]cake for the guests and a centerpiece! It's genuis!
How about putting the cupcakes on cake stands to create a mini tower at each table. Then instead of one cupcake at the very top, stick some sign (that can double as table numbering) through the middle with your explanation? Like a flag on a tower!
tables.jpg (65.2 KB, 34 downloads) 1 year old IMG_0507.JPG (115 KB, 28 downloads) 1 year old 
I like your idea! You might also try to spread the word that the cupcakes are dessert and you want people to wait until the cake cutting to enjoy them. I'm not sure what would be best, a note or a verbal suggestion, but most guests should be fine waiting to eat them.
How many cupcakes are you having at each tower? I'm trying to visualize this. As a bride who's doing cupcakes, too, I am looking for ideas.
I am doing something similar, I think! Small cake for cutting, and cupcakes and desserts(in bar form:lemon bars, linzors, etc) for the guests.
Because of space, I don't know whether my vendor will have them out from the beginning or put out after the meal.
I wouldn't do the signs or word of mouth. It seems overbearing to me, don't do this, don't do that. By that point in the reception will you really care if people eat their dessert before their dinner! I would do a menu card with your menu and then cupcakes listed as dessert.
If you are worried about people eating them too early or more than one, than a served cake is best, in my opinion.
I'm having the bar desserts and then a bonfire with smores later so there will be plenty of sweets for everyone, even if my little cousin eat the frosting only off of several cupcakes!
EvitaGrace.jpg (74.5 KB, 28 downloads) 1 year old 
I think the cupcakes on the tables can be really cute. I think it would be fine to indicate to people that these cupcakes are in place of cake. But I would do this by word of mouth. If you do not say anything, they might think the cupcakes on the table are for snacking or an extra treat etc. And when there is no cake afterwards, they might be a little bummed. On the other hand, I agree with ac-ny, where it can look overbearing to tell them not to eat the cupcakes until the cake is cut. If you put tempting cupcakes two feet in front of them, you have to expect some people are going to dig in early.....waiting to be called up for the buffet, while they are starving... a little kid just might not be able to resist...
101_0059.jpg (1655.9 KB, 49 downloads) 1 year old 
It's such a great idea...not only will it be cute, but it will cute down on costs using them as centerpieces for guest tables! Here's some ideas for how it could look:
IMG_5701.JPG (1482.4 KB, 34 downloads) 1 year old
Couple more...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3138/2500465522_239fc79669.jpg?v=0
shells_white_mix.jpg (53.3 KB, 33 downloads) 1 year old sand,_shells,_bear_grass,_beach_glass,.jpg (35.6 KB, 80 downloads) 1 year old
I love the idea of cupcakes on the table! And I think that people would understand that they are there to be enjoyed as dessert, not pre- or during- meal. :)
Thanks ladies! The pictures are beautiful and they are making me hungry :) I think if people saw that there was a main cupcake tower where we will be cutting our cake, they might put two + two together and realize they are in lieu of cake! I actually might look into having the towers placed on the tables after dinner as well so we'll see!!!
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We are planning to have a cupcake tower instead of wedding cake... my fiance and I will still cut a mini cake for the two of us, but will offer cupcakes to our guests. I don't like the look of piling a hundred + cupcakes on the cupcake tower, so I was thinking of creating a smaller version for display and then maybe putting the rest on each table...
Has anyone done this or have any good ideas to let the guests know not to eat them until we cut the cake. Could I just put a little sign with the different flavors and a cute little note saying to please enjoy the cupcakes once the bride and groom cut the cake?