Curious – what about printed thank you card but with a personal message?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a printed thank you card still rude even if the message is personal?
    Rude but better than general pre-printed : (5 votes)
    11 %
    Rude. It needs to be hand written : (11 votes)
    25 %
    Not rude if the message is personal. : (28 votes)
    64 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @afake79:  That sounds exactly like a greeting card to me, so I see no problem with it. Greeting cards give a standard message and people sign them. Same thing.

    Post # 5
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @afake79:  I think it’s the personalization that’s key. In the other thread they’re talking about a generalized preprinted message (like a Christmas card that says “Wishing you a very merry Christmas” that the couple then just signs). If the message itself isn’t personalized and thanking the person for the specific gift they gave, I think that’s rude. But if you’re typing each individual person a message, I’m not going to fault you just cause you’re trying to either save your hand from cramping or save my eyes from trying to figure out someone’s bad handwritting. 

    Post # 8
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @afake79:  Yeah, if I got his card I would think it was a little weird but not rude. I guess if I knew him and knew his handwritting I would think it was funny & totally get it. 

    Post # 9
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @afake79:  I hate greeting cards too but they are socially acceptable. I don’t see why printed thank you cards are any different. I was commenting from an etiquette perspective, not a personal one. I am very picky personally, lol.

    Honestly, greeting cards are so lazy. I don’t know you well enough/am too lazy to write something personal, so I feel exactly the same way as this random dude from Hallmark. Yeah, no. Doesn’t work for me. My husband writes personal cards for me!

    Post # 10
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m fine with a printed card IF it had a personalized message. Like if I got a printed card that said

    “Dear Brand Family-

    Thank you so much for attending our wedding! It was hilarious watching R—-‘s rendition of the funky chicken. And I was so glad to share a toast with you! Speaking of toast, thank you SO much for the lovely toaster! We are so excited to make eggs and toast in the same machine. Next time you come over, we’ll be sure to make you some breakfast!

    Much Love,

    The Rosenbattsteins”

    I would be fine with that card.

    Post # 11
    1793 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I, too, am fine with a printed thank you as long as it is personalized as in BrandNewBride’s example.  The specific giver is being thanked for a specific gift and it is a personal thought for that person.  I do think it should be signed in ink though.

    Post # 12
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m one of the people who wrote about being a little offended by a pre-printed thank you card that I got after a wedding in the other thread. For me, it also about it being generic more than it being printed. The message was completely generic…it wasn’t even made out to us! (“To our families and friends,”)  If it had been a typed/printed personal message actually written to my fiance and me and referencing us being there and our gift, I wouldn’t have been offended at all. I’ll admit I might slightly prefer a hand-written note but thats just preference, I don’t think the alternative is rude.

    Post # 13
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m sorry, but I just don’t care for handwritten thank-yous.  I think they should look as pretty as your invites did.. So ours were printed and personal.

    Post # 14
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I like handwritten cards better, but personalization is most important. 

    When I want to get FI a card I look at every single applicable card in the store and pick the best one. I’ve come to accept that FI does not so this (however he did buy me a birthday card 6 months in advance because he saw it and knew it was perfect for me). But the messages we write are the sweetest part anyways 🙂

    Btw, we spent $40 on 200 plain cards that say “Thank you” in silver writing and we’re content with that.

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