(Closed) Cutting e-mail from Godfather

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What?!  Ugh.  I would be so pissed especially from your godfather.

For those kind words, I would send him an email and make him feel guilty.

“I’m sorry you are not able to come. It is really unfortunate you are not able to.  You will be missed.”

Give his seat away and if he changes his mind, tell him you gave it away.  It’s one thing to complain about it to someone else but for him to send you an email.  ??!?!? 

Post # 4
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’d be tempted to answer with:

Thanks for the birthday wishes.  We are enjoying the wedding planning, working on lots of details ourselves to make it very personal for a few of our close friends and relatives.  

Thank you for letting us know so early on that you do not support our marriage and our wedding, we will use the extra space to invite someone who will fully support our wedding and our efforts to make this a joyous event for our guests.  

Have a good summer doing the things you judge to be worthy!

me

Post # 5
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh, that’s awful! I can’t believe he would jump to his own conclusions so quickly – is he usually like that? You certainly don’t come across as selfish and it sounds like your parents agree and stand behind you… I’m sorry your godfather was such a jerk. 

Post # 6
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

What a jerk. I’d be tempted to send something like what edgypants wrote, but I’d probably respond by saying, “Thank you for the birthday wishes. We will miss you at our wedding and hope you have a change of heart! We’d love to celebrate our wedding with you.” No matter how angry you are. He was being a pretty crappy person, frankly, and making judgments about you and your choices that he had no right to make. Maybe killing him with kindness will make him think about whatever it is that he’s *actually* reacting to.

Post # 7
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Wow, that is completely rude. I would send him an similar to what edgy peanuts said.

Post # 8
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yikes!  I would be tempted to reply with something equally cutting, like “Thank you for your email.  If you feel that it would be inappropriate for you as my godfather to attend my wedding and support me on the most important day of my life, then by all means stay home.  I’m glad to know how you feel so I may have a more accurate view of our relationship in the future. Sincerely, Cherryshake.”  But that probably wouldn’t do you any good.

The better answer would probably be something like “Throughout our wedding planning, our priority has always been finding a way to celebrate our joy with our closest family and friends.  I am disappointed to hear that you do not wish to be apart of this. Best wishes, Cherryshake” but I know I would have trouble taking the high road on this one.  Who does something like that to their own goddaughter? I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.

Post # 9
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

Wow…..That stabbed me in the gut and its not even my wedding! I would be sooo upset. I am sorry you are going through this but I really have no advice.

Post # 10
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

What do I think?  I think you should post pics here after your wedding, it sounds gorgeous! Wink

In all seriousness, I am having a hard time understanding how your godfather could be so callous and mean about your wedding, especially after sounding so excited about it when filled in with all the details just a few weeks ago.  So crazy.  Can you think of any reason why he might have had this change of heart?  Is he going through a rough patch in his life (especially one that might leave him hard up for money?), or has he always been the sort to change him mind about situations to such extremes?  In any event, I am so sorry he has treated you this way, it’s just not right no matter what his circumstances, and it really sucks that someone you believed to care about you will not be there to support you.  But as all the bees pointed out before me, if he really feels this way about you and your wedding, you don’t want him there anyway.  Use the money to invite an extra guest who WILL support you, or to throw those who are coming an even better party.

Good luck, and whatever happens with your godfather, I am sure you’ll have a beautiful and very meaningful wedding.

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Ouch!!  Cry

Dear Godfather,

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

CherryShake

Completely ignore the rest of the e-mail.  Do not acknowledge it.  It is undeserving of your emotional energy!  Continue to plan for him not to attend and try really hard to forget about it!

Post # 13
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would tell him that you’re sorry he can’t attend, but that you did receive an rsvp from the Queen and that she’s thrilled to be coming! (I am like that..)

What a horrid thing to say and for no apparent reason at all. 

I’ve sadly learned that there are some people you find in life, that do not share your happiness when wonderful things happen.  In fact, they will sometimes go out of your way to try to rain on your parade.

Don’t let his words get you down.  Have a beautiful wedding, and know that we support you and your family supports you, and I’m sure they are outraged at such unbelievable comments made by the godfather.

Post # 14
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Yeah!  I second Belle… you’re English, you can invite the Queen and you’ll be sent a letter of congratulations!  :):):)

Realisticlly, I would agree with the others who wrote obviously hurt yet polite messages.  Being snarky will get you nowhere (unfortunately).  I’m sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 16
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Oh snap edgypeanuts! It’s such a shame that your godfather has said something like that cos it’s just so vastly unneccessary! At the end of the day if he’s going to let something as silly as his pre-concieved ideas about your wedding get in the way of him being there he’s clearly not worthy of being there for you and your FH on your big day. You deserve to have the kind of wedding you want and if everyone else is fine with it (esp. those who are paying!!) then he shouldn’t care if you’re getting married in a shed or a castle! Please don’t let his comments affect you or how you feel about your wedding. Enjoy your big day!!!

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