(Closed) Dad and Mom want to make a speech at wedding IS THIS OK?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Does my parents telling people that FI and I paid for our wedding in a speech make them look bad?
    Yes : (29 votes)
    37 %
    No : (14 votes)
    18 %
    Mixed feelings : (14 votes)
    18 %
    No one will remember the speech let them do what they want : (21 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    85 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Mom and Dad should just stick to talking about how much they love you and are proud of you. No money needs to be mentioned.

    Post # 4
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @elliptical2013:  I don’t understand what your cousin has to do with your parents giving a speech at YOUR wedding which is about YOU and your husband…. Let your parents give speeches. They are proud of you obviously. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    9693 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @elliptical2013:  A wedding speech is fine, but it certainly shouldn’t be about your finances. That is nobody’s business but your own. The focus should be on who you are as a couple and why you’re so wonderful, not how deep your pocketbook is.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7656 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @elliptical2013:  Couldn’t they just comment that they are proud that you are a mature and responsible adult? I think that would clear up the financial thing without having to mention it directly. I don’t know if your parents are the type that will say something anyway despite your request, but that is what I would do–and have them talk about how happy they are for you.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Why not? You are their daughter and they are proud of you. Let them!

    Post # 10
    Member
    7090 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Even if your cousin wasn’t there I would find it in poor taste to mention money during a today. What I’d they just talk about how independent and helpful you are instead of bringing up money?

    Post # 11
    Member
    12259 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think it’s fine to let them give a toast about how much they love you, but it should NOT involve money, and they shouldn’t thank the guests for attending, since they’re not hosting! You and your DH should thank people for attending.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1380 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @elliptical2013:  I really see where you’re coming from.. If my parents stood up in front of all my loved ones and gushed about how we paid for the wedding ourselves, that would be weird. My parents will be paying for our wedding (100% their idea) so I won’t run into that but I can totally see how that would make you uncomfortable.. If I were in your shoes, I would not like them to announce to everyone our financial sitch!

    I can also understand them wanting to say a few words so I would let them. Just ask them politely to keep money out of the talk.

    If you wanted to kind of suggest you two are hosting without saying it, what if you or your FI spoke first, thanked everyone for coming and joining you on your wedding day and then invited special guest MOB and FOB to share a few words. Then they’re not doing the “thank you for coming” from the host speech but they still get a few words 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    7865 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think it’s totally fine for them both to give a speech, but tell them to leave the financial bits out of it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @BrandNewBride:  +1 

    speech is fine, but zero talk of money 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2873 posts
    Sugar bee

    Just let them speak. My wedding was six months ago and I don’t remember any of the speeches. It’s not a big deal. 

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