Post # 1
Forgive me if this has been touched on before but as the title states, I’m in a pickle!
I have a good relationship with both my dad and my stepdad so I am worried about who will walk me down the aisle. When I started wedding planning, I talked with my Step-dad about it, and he was nice about it and said that I should walk down the aisle with my real dad and that he didn’t have to have a father-daughter dance either as long as I saved a dance for him at the reception.
I don’t like the idea of splitting the aisle, and really I have always been independant, so really I don’t have to have anyone "give" me away, but then that puts me to the father daugther dance. I don’t want to split that either, but do I make the crowd wait through two? Who goes first?
Of course I will dance with him at the reception regardless… is there any other way I can do something special for him that I don’t know about?
All input is appreciated! What would/did you guys do in this situation?
Post # 3
I think that if you want to have two father-daughter dances, that is just fine! I am sure that all of your guests will understand that you have two dads. Its your wedding and you should be able to dance with both of them.
Just a thought- many people cut down their first dance songs anyway because they can often be long, so perhaps your DJ could help you cut down the songs with each of your dads, so that each dance is about 2 minutes or so (instead of each one being four plus minutes, like some songs are).
Post # 4
What did your step-dad mean when he said you should save him a dance at the reception? He might not have meant that he wanted a formal dance with you, just a dance. In which case, you might be off the hook.
But if you’re wanting to recognize them both formally anyway, then go ahead and have two formal dances. Just pick short songs, or maybe have the DJ fade between two. I would dance with your biological dad first.
If you want it to be not so obvious you are changing out your partners, your fiance could switch partners too. Maybe you could dance the first dance with your dad and your fiance with his mom. Then for the second formal dance, you could dance with your step-dad and your fiance could dance with your mom. (If his dad was feeling left out, then his parents could join you together for the second song as well.)
Post # 5
What about ‘splitting’ the dance in a less traditional way? If you are worried about two full dances.. why not just have the DJ blend from one song to another? Then, if your biological dad is remarried, his wife could come dance with him and your fiance and his mom can come join for the second dance, and you can dance with your stepdad.
Post # 6
what if your step dad walked you halfway down the aisle and your father met you and gave you away? its a nice way to honor both of them.
Post # 7
I haven’t been to very many weddings where the guests are actually made to wait through the whole father-daughter dance anyway. Generally what happens is that the dance starts with you and your dad, and your husband and his mom, and then (as beachbride says) about the time you change partners (your husband to dance with your mom, at which point his mom is handed over to a brother, or groomsman, or her own husband) the DJ invites everyone to dance. I would start the song conventionally, and then have a plan for your siblings and/or bridal party and the rest of the parents/grandparents to join you. Your step-dad will get to dance with you, which is what it sounds like he wants – rather than some kind of spotlight. And with other family members and maybe the bridal party on the dance floor and changing out partners, nobody will be left just standing halfway through the song, which would seem to be the important thing.
Post # 8
I danced to "I loved her first" with my dad then danced to "My little girl" with my stepdad right afterwards. I definitely wanted to honor both of them and actually had both involved with walking me down the aisle. My stepdad escorted me from the car across the grass to the bridge where my dad was waiting to walk me over the bridge which was our aisle.
Post # 9
Lots of great suggestions, ladies!! I never thought about shortening the songs or having my stepdad walk me from the car to the front of the aisle. Those are great ideas! Thank you.
Post # 10
i like Miss Isthmus idea also! its your day! if u want dance with both, enjoy that moment!
Post # 11
I have the exact same dilema! I am walking myself down the aisle, and then I’m going to choose two short songs for two separate dances. Of course, I have the additional dilema of having a dad in a wheelchair – we’re going to need some extra practice for our 3-minute song. But as long as the songs are short I don’t see any problem having two. It’s your day – don’t leave anything important out!
Post # 12
Maybe you could do a mix with two shortened songs -when your step dad finishes he twirls you over to your dad and the music goes right into a new song. I think that would be cute.
Post # 13
I am having both my biological father and my adoptive father walk me down the aisle and then I have a separate dance with each of them at the reception.
I am also very close to my mother and she requested a "mother-daughter" dance so we will be doing that too! I feel bad for our poor guests! lol
I think you should do what makes you happy because its your day and you and your husbands happiness is the most important 🙂
Post # 14
I don’t think I’m going to do the designated father-daughter dance thing. I will dance with both my dad and stepdad at some point throughout the night, but not planning on calling it out.
My dad is walking me down the aisle and my stepdad is serving as the officiant. I am so excited to be married by someone who has had such a large role in my life and who knows both FI and I so well.
Post # 15
I love the idea of shortening each song, but keeping your dad there with you to dance with someone else while you dance with your step-dad. If you have any sisters, that would be a great time for this.