Dad doesn't want fiancé and I to live together before marriage

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Is he just a voicing concern and disappointment or expressing anger? Is he expecting you to change your plans? What will he do if you do not? 

Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Stay excited, don’t let yourself get down. Keep your dad involved, tell him how much you love him and how important he is to you, but make sure he knows what you want in this life. I guess this is one of those situations that will always make a father nervous and he might feel better when he voices his feelings rather than keeping them in. 

Post # 6
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are you an adult? 

Yes?

Then ignore him.

Post # 7
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think its crazy when people don’t live together before getting married. I’d tell your dad that you value his opinion, but honestly at the end of the day it isn’t his decision.

Post # 8
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@supergirl88:  you are an adult. Dad does not get a day in your choices. Your new husband is your primary family and you need to make decisions based on what is best for your life with him, not your dad. 

Post # 9
Member
13020 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@supergirl88:  I’m not really sure what he’d do if we went ahead and moved in. 

Time to find out.
Are you renting now?  Is your wedding really not for another 2 years?  Can you talk some logic into it to him (how much financial sense it makes) to help him get over it?

Post # 11
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@vorpalette:  +1

If you are old enough to get married you can make your own decisions. Don’t let your father ruin your excitement. It sounds like you and your FI have worked hard for this! Enjoy it 🙂

Post # 12
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@supergirl88:  If you’re not virgins waiting for marriage to have sex for the first time, move in together!

And if you are, move into seperate rooms! You’re adults and fully capable of handling this.

Post # 13
Member
6507 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know how this feels. When DH went and spoke with my parents about getting engaged my dad told him that he doesn’t want us living together before getting married. This would have been fine if I could have lived with my parents but we moved eight hours away so it didn’t make sense financially to do both get an apartment when we would probably be spending the majority of our time at one apartment anyways.

He voiced his disappointment throughout our engagement (and so did my mom) but outside of those uncomfortable moments they left it alone. Move in together and don’t let him take the joy out of it. You have very logical reasons to move in together which he should see if he looks at it from your point of view.

Post # 14
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Do what you want and what’s best for you… I think every couple does this at one point or another. Your dad will get over it.

Post # 15
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There comes a point when you simply can’t always live up to your parents’ expectations. You are both adults and while you can respect your father’s views, you don’t have to go along with them. This applies to living together and where and when you get married. 

Post # 16
Member
929 posts
Busy bee

Thank your dad for voicing his concerns and say that you and FI think its best that you two live together before getting married, that this has always been YOUR plan as a couple. 

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