Dad isn't supportive of breakup

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Regardless of how great he thinks your ex is, he is going to have to suck it up. It wasn’t his relationship, and he will get used the the idea eventually. You are his daughter, and he might be butt-hurt now, but he will grow into the idea.

Post # 4
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@rosetea:  I don’t think your dad is being fair at all. Even if he doesn’t like your decision he shouldn’t treat you like that. I know my family would be really upset and confused and maybe even mad if I broke up with my SO but I don’t think they’d try to punish me or anything. At the end of the day it’s YOUR decision not his, and YOU are the one who has to decide what relationships you want to be in and when you want to be in them and what is best for YOU. Hopefully he will remember that soon and quit being so childish about this.

Post # 5
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry you are experience this kind of treatment from your father.  I absolutely think a parent should support their children’s relationship decisions, even when they don’t agree with them.  

I don’t have much advice other than just to give him time to realize it’s for the best.  Have you spoken to your mom about how your dad is ignoring you?

Post # 7
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Your dad is being cruel. I remember a friend being an ass to me because I ended it with my ex, and how much that hurt, I can’t imagine how you must feel. Whether he agrees with your decision or not, you are going through a tough time, and he should be there for you.

Post # 8
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You said in a previous thread thst you broke up with your FI so you could explore “you”. So you need to stop caring what your dad (or your best friend as said in another previous post) thinks. Everyone in the world might be confused by your breakup, but they aren’t you.. They don’t know what’s best for you, only you do.

So do what you said, start focusing on you, and stop worrying other people. Your dad will ultimately come around to whatever makes your the most happy. You haven’t been single since you were a young teenager, so news the time to start figuring out who you are without having to answer to anyone else.

Post # 9
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@rosetea:  Sucks to be him. He’s just gonna have to accept that you’re an adult and he doesn’t control your life. I would just ignore him right back until he gets over himself!

Post # 10
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@rosetea: I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I would probably distance myself from my father if I were you. He is being ridiculously unfair to you, as though the pain he is experiencing is even a fraction of what you are facing.

Post # 11
Member
25 posts
Newbee

You also made a thread that one of your male friends “didn’t care” about your breakup. Did you break up with this dude for attention from others, or did you do it for yourself?

It sounds like your dad is right about how “finding yourself” means “partying”…you went out partying the night after your breakup and got wasted.

Post # 12
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

He’s YOUR dad, not your FI’s dad.  I think he should be on your side no matter what. But I’m sorry he isn’t, and hope he will come around.

My parents LOVED my ex, but I had to end it because it wasn’t for me.  They were not happy with my decision for the longest time, even two years into my new relationship, they would still bring up how much they loved my ex…. seriously?! Well, it’s been 6.5 years now, and they have finally come around!

Just give your dad time, probably a long time.  He’s also hit hard with the breakup too!

Post # 13
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@GlitteringDiamond:  Well that’s insightful..  I didn’t even think to connect the two threads.  Hm!  What kind of “finding yourself” prompted the breakup?  If there is an original thread, I missed it.

Post # 14
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@rosetea:  Your father’s behavior is outrageous and foolish.

Let’s assume your former BF is the best guy in the world – if you’re not sure, if you’re not happy, if marrying him isn’t what you want, what, exactly would be the point in pretending otherwise?  If your heart’s desire is to pursue your own interests and not marry him or anyone else, who is your father to second guess that?  

I presume you didn’t hurt your former BF on purpose and didn’t want to lead him on.  That’s as honorable as you can be.  

Your father is out of line.  Don’t let him shame you.  

Post # 16
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It is hurtful of your father to behave like this and actually, it is none of his business. But equally, I guess if your own family can’t be honest, who can?

However, you do seem to be encountering a few people who are not coming up to your expectations so far as reactions are concerned and I think it might be an idea to quietly start moving forwards yourself now without inviting too many opinions on the breakup of your relationship.

 

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