Post # 1
My step-dad is paying and hosting the wedding, which is wonderful of him. Thankfully he isn’t really into weddings so isn’t interferring really.
He did mention today though that he was looking forward to the father/daughter dance. I have a real adversion to all those formal dances (first dance/child/parent/all of them) and me and FI weren’t going to do a first dance. However S-Dad really wants to do one with me.
I don’t really know what I’m asking. But I’m torn between explaining to him that I really don’t want to and the fact that he is paying, he wants to and he will never get another chance to.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2013 - Rustic mill, historical site
Hm, I personally would do it for him because it seems like it means a lot to him, not because he’s paying.
Post # 4
What I wouldn’t give to be able to have a father-daughter dance. 🙁
That being said, it’s just a dance. Three to five minutes of your life to make him happy. Maybe choose a short song and invite all the fathers and daughters or mothers and sons to join you on the dance floor so it’s not as formal and focused on you.
Post # 5
i agree with PP.. its 2 minutes.. not a big deal and it probably means a lot to you.
Post # 6
I think weddings are most important to 1. Bride & Groom 2. Parents
Do the dance, it will be worth it to make him happy
Post # 7
i would suck it up and do it. It’s one little thing, it’s not a big deal really and if he’s paying for it all…
Doing the Father/Daughter dance doesn’t mean you have to do all the rest of them if you don’t want to.
Post # 8
What means more to you? Making him happy or doing the awkward uncomfortable dance? I think that’s what it all boils down to.
If you’re afraid he’ll bail out of paying because the dance, then I really don’t know what to say other than that would make him a pretty crappy person, unless of course that were the terms in which he would pay..
Post # 9
Nope not afraid of him not paying – he is a wonderful person and would never do that
I’m just really torn between him being happy and being really really uncomfortable doing something I don’t to do.
Post # 10
I’d do pretty much anything that makes my dad happy since he almost never asks for anything. I did the father/daughter in conjunction with dh doing a mother/son dance and then opened the floor to everybody halfway through so it really wasn’t too awkward.
Post # 11
@mallo: bury your head in his shoulder and suck it up for 2 or 3 minutes. He is not your bio dad, but a step dad who has CHOSEN to be your dad. I think that’s amazing. And I think you owe him 2 minutes of your awkward time to show him how much he means to you. He didn’t just have you and feels obligated, he loves you because he chose to love you, and that’s a very special thing.
You can deal with 2 or 3 minutes, to make this special mans day/life. It really shouldn’t matter that he’s paying, but I do think that because he is, it’s something you should do for him anyways but especially because he is paying for your special day.
Some people don’t have dads, and some people who do still didn’t get a step dad who loves them. It’s a small gesture to show him what he means to you.
Post # 12
I hate my stepfather as a person and he isn’t paying for the wedding, and I hate the formal dances, but I’m still doing one. It sucks, but it would mean a lot to my mom and FI wants to doone with his mom, so me not doing anything would be noticable. This is just a few minutes, it would mean the wirld to him, and you say he’s a wonderful man, so do it.
It doesn’t have to be serious, my FI and I are doing the parent dances at the same time, and we’re doing them to ‘Your Momma Don’t Dance and Your Daddy Don’t Rock ‘n Roll’.
Post # 13
i did not read the replies,sorry.but reguardless if you belive in these dances or not,your step dad deserves one and you shouldnt even have to think twice about it. and not because he is paying but im sure he has been there for you through other things as well.i dont understand why you would have to even think about deniying this man a dance.idk,i just dont get peoples thinking nowadays lol.
my dad was very scared months leading up to my wedding dancing with me with everyone watching.but he did it anyway for me and i know deep down he wanted to too,after the dance with me he danced a couple more times with other guest 🙂
Post # 14
@mallo: could you have the mother/son and father/daughter dance at the same time? then all eyes won’t be on you, and you won’t be alone on the floor.
also – there are lots of great motown songs from the 50s and 60s that are a) great for father daughter dances and b) around 2 minutes long. by the time the music starts, they announce it and you’re dancing, you’re down to 90 seconds. 🙂
Post # 15
@peonyinlove: FI doesnt want to do a m/s dance and FMIL would not be interested
Post # 16
Can I just ask – does he want to do a formal dance, or does he just want to dance with you at the wedding. Basically instead of being just the 2 of you dancing with everyone else watching, can you guys make some time to dance together while everyone else is on the dance floor?