Post # 1
Long story short my parents divorced almost 3 years ago, Dad rapidly moved on with a coworker (I know in my heart it was an affair.) He’s moved states and we havent spoken, only exchaged a few texts since.
He married her earlier this year… I was not invited, only my brother and his girlfriend of 3 months… hurt so badly. My dad blames our falling out in ME, because I didnt accept her and his speaking poorly about MY Mom (who is my world.)
Hurts to know I will never get the Daddy Daughter dance, the walk down the aisle… all the things I truly want because he wont move past a few bitter words exchanged after he disrespected my wishes and my mother.
Any one elses Dad refuse to show?
How can I ask my Older Brother to walk me down the aisle?
Post # 3
@MrsBulldog: I’m sorry to hear that your father is reacting this way. I really hope he has a change of heart and does whats right.
I think it would be fairly easy to let your brother know the situation, and ask if he’d take on the job. Does he know about the rocky relationship between you and your dad?
I have a difficult relationship with my dad too. It’s gotten better, but he’s blew off some occassions that were really important to me. Honestly, you can’t change his mind. That’s all on him. The only thing you can really do it try to extend the olive branch some more and ask your brother if he’d like the honor of walking you down the aisle just in case. Maybe you could try to better the relationship before the wedding. Have you tried calling him and letting him know how much it means to you?
Post # 4
Have you asked your mom to walk you down the aisle?
Post # 5
@MrsBulldog: Sorry about your Dad honey. That must really hurt. Hopefully someday he’ll come to his senses.
Until then, yes, I think it is fine to have your brother walk you down the aisle. As a PP said, just ask him and explain the situation if he doesn’t already know it. And, also as a PP said, having your mom do it is also a lovely, viable option!
Post # 6
Its not unusual for children to have a hard time when their parents divorce. I am quite surprised that he didn’t invite you to his wedding, as that is a pretty deliberate act that should only be reserved for someone he had a reasonable likelihood to expect to disrupt the entire wedding. Even if you had said bad things about his girlfriend when you first found out about it, your father should have spoken to you privately when he got engaged to ask you if you wanted to attend his wedding and if you could be polite to his new wife in the future. Simply not inviting you without discussing it was a petty and cruel thing to do. And the truth is that if your father isn’t a very good person, it might be better for you if on your wedding day he isn’t walking you down the aisle and you don’t have to dance with him since it might be stressful for you to be around your father. I would ask either your mother or brother to walk you down the aisle, and if it is your brother that you should tell him that you want to give him time to think about it (since there may be ramifications with his relationship with his father if he says yes). You don’t have to mention your dad, since it will be very clear as to why your father isn’t going to be invited to your wedding.
Post # 7
My mom walked me down the aisle and both my stepdad and bio dad were present… She’s just who I wanted to walk me down!
Post # 8
My father is a monster. Haven’t spoken to him in 10 years +. Truly horrible human being.
My step dad walked me down. If he had no been available, I would have walked down alone 🙂
For daugher/father dance, I would have just skipped it to be honest.
Don’t be sad over it. You can’t change it. It is what it is. Make your wedding truly spectacular.
Post # 9
The only thing I ever said about his wife was that she should be ashamed of herself for breaking my family, destroying our lives and taking a father from his children. He replied that Hed never wanted me, never felt any connection with me and that I was NOT welcome at their wedding. This was of course after he had called my Mother a whore, liar and drunk (all untrue.)
My brother tries to stay out of it and is aware of the issues. Im at my wits end. Ive tried and tried yet nothing is ever good enough.
Mom has said I need to “work it out with my dad and to just applogise.” She feels its his place to walk me and refuses.
Post # 10
Aww OP. I’m sorry you’re in this dilemma. But your dad doesn’t deserve to walk you down, imo. If your older brother won’t, I think you should walk alone. I would sort of hope your mom would cave and escort you down the aisle when she sees you’re not reconciling with your dad and are seriously going to walk yourself. BUT I would be willing to do it solo if I were you, because it might end up that way?