Post # 1
So my dad told me tonight that he plans to help us pay for our wedding (YAY). He told me to let him know what we want him to do. I’ve never been comfortable asking people for money or asking people to pay for things. How do I do this? Do I ask him to pay for a certain thing, do I ask him for a cheque? I don’t know how to go about this…advice?
Post # 3
I’d discuss with him a budget first. How much is he interested in contributing? Does he want to pay for anythign in particular, like the dress or the food?
Post # 4
@MsGinkgo: I’m sure he knows you enough to know that just asking for a set number would make you uncomfortable. I would ask him what item(s) he is interested in contributing to, and ask him if he had a budget in mind, as you certainly don’t want to over-extend his wallet. My dad paid for my wedding & my sister’s wedding, and even though I knew exactly how much I was going to get, it was really awkward for me to ask him to actually give me the money as well. Luckily I just told him that I was going to pick out my dress, and he asked me if I wanted to give him all the bills for my wedding, or for him to just give me the money in cash.
Dad’s can be so generous. My dad was so impressed with my budgetting strategy and compromising skills that he actually offered to give me more money. I declined, and I’ll still have a few hundred left over.
Post # 5
I would put it on him. Ask him what HE would like to pay for…
Post # 6
@Nic01: maybe that’s the best way to go.
He told me to go ahead and figure out what we want to do for our plans (where to have it etc) and then come talk to him and we’ll figure something out. So I guess we’ll just lay out our plans and then ask him what he wants to do…
I’m terrible at this. If I NEED money for something (school) I can ask for it, I hate doing it but I can. When it’s a gift like this I feel greedy and I hate it.
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: When figuring out what you actually want, ‘pretend’ that the conversation with your dad never happened & organise as if you would be paying all of it yourself. Then, rather than sittign down & saying, here’s the plan, what do you wan tto pay for, sit down with ‘this is what i’m thinking’…. that then gives him some time to speak up – & no matter what he offers, it will be awesome because you were orginally going to pay for it yourself!