Post # 1
Our wedding is still a while away, but I have a feeling that this is going to be the biggest decision I’ll have to make. I’m worried because I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings.
My step dad has been in my life since I was about 10. He’s like a father to me. I’d really like to include him in our big day. I’ve been bouncing around ideas on him walking me partway down the aisle, or jointly with my dad. Yesterday my MIL tells me is a BAD idea and that my dad will be devastated if I do that. So now I’m not sure what to do?
My dad is such a nice, sweet humble man that if I ask him how he feels he will say he’s fine with it even if he’s not. I don’t want to take away his moment, but I want my step dad to be included some way. Any ideas? What are you guys doing?
Post # 3
I would ask your father to walk you down the aisle and ask your stepfather to perform some other important role in your wedding, as you say your dad would be upset if your stepfather were to walk you down the aisle. Make your stepdad feel involved and included in another way.
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
You could have one of them walk you halfway, then switch to the other one. Or maybe have one walk you and dance with the other, or (my preferred option) have your dad walk you, then do 1/2 dance with dad and 1/2 dance with step dad. Do they generally get along, or at least are respectful of one another? Has your dad ever tried to discourage you from having a relationship with your stepdad or anything like that? As long as they’re both adults and ok with one another, I think they can handle splitting FOB duties.
Post # 5
@CrunkPunch: A friend of mine had the exact same dilemma. Luckily, her stepfather was willing to walk her halfway down the aisle, where her biological dad took over. She was so emotional on the rehearsal day – she completely LOST IT when the “hand over” happened. But at the end of the day it was truly representative of the role that both men had in her life, so that was quite lovely.
Post # 6
Thanks for the quick responses!
There aren’t any bad feelings between my dad and stepdad, they see each other around town often and chat with each other.
I am an only child to my dad, and don’t want to hurt his feelings. I originally thought I would have both of them split duties to walk me down the aisle until my MIL said she thought it would hurt my dad.. and now I’m worried that she’s right.
I do like the idea of just giving my step dad a father/daughter dance, so maybe I will do that. My FH and MIL don’t want to have their own dance so maybe I’ll take up that time with Step Dad. The song I’m dancing to with my dad is one we used to dance to when I was young so I don’t want my step dad cutting in. Maybe I could do a half song with step dad – then invite the immediate family and bridal party to join us followed by guests?
Post # 7
I would have your dad walk you down the aisle, and then take your own suggestion and do a 1/2 dance with your stepfather and invite the guests to join you 1/2 way through.