(Closed) Dad vs. Step-dad

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Which of the following do you recommend?
    Dad and Step-Dad walk me down the aisle : (10 votes)
    53 %
    Dad walks me down the aisle : (3 votes)
    16 %
    Dad walks me down the aisle, Step-dad greets me at alter : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Step Dad walks me half way, dad walks me other half and hands me off : (4 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I vote for a variation of the third option: step-dad walk you down and your dad meets you at the alter.  That way it is your biological father giving you away.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Hmmm…I would talk it over with your dad, see if you can get him to move. It sounds like your step-dad has had as big, if not a bigger, influence on your life then your bio dad and that really needs to be taken into account. A father is not just the guy who donates the sperm, but the guy who is there instilling life values and morals into “his” children, he’s the one you go to when things go wrong, or right. I think you ought to stick with your guns and walk with both dads, but I do see how this is a really difficult situation and how it is causing so much stress! Almost makes me glad I don’t really like my nearly-step-father (he and my mom are engaged, but not yet married).

     

    I hope you are able to find a happy solution for you and both yoru dads! Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think your Dad will understand if you explain that this is what you really want for your day, and hopefully he will come around.  They are both important to you, and I think it is more than fair for you to have both of them walk you down.  I am closer to my step-dad than my bio-dad, but, my bio-dad is walking me down the aisle.  It was tough to decide who would walk me down, since in a lot of ways, my step-dad has been there for me much more than my bio-dad, so I know it is a hard decision.  THink about it and listen to what your heart tells you is best.

    Post # 6
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m actually having my stepdad walk me down. I have a bad relationship with my dad, and I’m excited that I get to show my stepdad how much I appreciate his role in my life.

    Post # 7
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I am struggling with a very similar decision. I think your dad does have a point if your step-dad has other daughters. My problem is my step-dad has no other children so this is his only chance to do this. I would say let your dad have his moment walking you down the aisle and find another way to include your stepdad and make him feel special.

    Some ideas:

    Have your step-dad do a reading or something before the vows

    Have a special dance with your step-dad as well as your dad

    Have each walk you halfway down the aisle

    Ask you step-dad if there is another way he’d like to be involved

    Post # 8
    Member
    10218 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I’d definitely do both as well.  My stepdad has actually been a bigger influence in my life as of late; however, as a child I was a daddy’s girl.. The other variation I have in mind is having neither walk me down and both give me away at the front, but it would cause such havoc that I may as well have the both of them walk me down.  I say that your dad has to learn that this is your wedding and that you are your stepdad’s daughter too, even though you aren’t his biological daughter that he was there for you and that you honor him as your dad too.  And then let bygones be bygones… How do you think your stepdad would feel if he didn’t walk you down? My guess is he’d be devastated but try to put on a good face to protect your feelings… which is exactly what a dad should do…. which further means that he should be the one to walk you down, you know?

    Post # 10
    Member
    5498 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I am having both walk me down the aisle. It’s definitly not a fun situation to be in!!!

    I think one of our lovely bloggers did that, but I’m not sure which!

    The topic ‘Dad vs. Step-dad’ is closed to new replies.

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