Daddy Issues…..

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would definitely go forward with the assumption he’s going to give you nothing, even if that means cutting back on certain things.  He might, he might not, it’s not worth the stress to wonder.  

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@bballou:  What I am about to say is going to suck, but you need to plan a wedding you can afford WITHOUT the funds from your dad. If he gives you them, great. If he doesnt, you still get to have a wedding.

Post # 5
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Honestly I would start planning thinking you won’t get the money. And if you do, great! Use it on your honeymoon.

 

Post # 7
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If he’s been this way your entire life, I don’t understand why you felt you could depnd on him to give you any kind of money. :-

Post # 8
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t depend on his money and work with what your mom is contributing only.

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@bballou:  I would take that as he has no money to give for the wedding, i wouldnt rely on getting it…if he has drinking issues he may just drink it all aawy, i dont want to be mean but the way things are going i wouldnt hold your breath on it…sorry kid even if you do talk to him and he said yes ll give you money i wont trust it till you see it…sorry my mom has shopping issues, its not like drinking but every thing on QVC she MUST have, i opened a savings account and told her if shes giving money give it when she has it because im not counting on the “ill have it closer to the wedding” ive been through that before…I eneded up paying for my car in full because of that… i wish i could give you happier news or advice but ive been there…kind of… good luck to you 

Post # 10
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Tell him you need the money NOW! Tell him you hit your credit card limit, or a vendor needs it, or something- but if you don’t get it NOW 🙁 I don’t think you’ll ever get it.

My mother wan an alcoholic and she never followed through with any of the big promises she made- she just kept putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off hoping I’d let it go. I only got things when it was last minute crunch time and I exploded in her face.

PS- you’re a good sister 🙂

Post # 11
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Use your own savings and don’t rely on dad for anything.  It may mean you have to take an extra year or two to save up for a house but that is not long in grand scheme of life.  Take it as a learning lesson to not budget/spend money you don’t already have in hand (or in the bank.)

Post # 12
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would have a backup plan in case he does not pull through, just in case. I don’t know what other options you have but you don’t want to be stuck with nothing when it’s time to pay.

Your Dad clearly has some financial issues, as well as personal demons. If you can do your wedding without his help then do that. Then later tell him to put any money he was going to give you into getting himself some help with his alcoholism.

Post # 15
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur

I’m sorry,  that sucks,  but you shouldn’t plan a wedding with money you don’t have.  you can’t be mad at your father.  Parents don’t  HAVE  to pay for their kids weddings.

Post # 16
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m sorry but you need to forget your dad’s money. For the first thing, you can’t depend on an alcoholic, and you know it. That’s part of why you are so upset, afraid he’ll flake. And chances are, if he doesn’t have it now, he’s not gonna have it in April either. If by some chance he does come across with it later, then use it however you can, but I wouldn’t depend on it.

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